@blue_topaz
“You’re staying here,” Joe and I objected in unison, though my friend’s voice was much firmer than mine. “Both of you,” he added quickly. “I can get sleeping bags.”
“You’re staying here,” Joe and I objected in unison, though my friend’s voice was much firmer than mine. “Both of you,” he added quickly. “I can get sleeping bags.”
“I can really just sleep on the floor, it’s not a big deal!” I protested, looking from Marina to Joe. I didn’t even know who I was really saying this to at this point.
I didn’t realize how hard I was clenching my fists until pain tore through my now-bleeding palms. “I—I don’t think I can—“
It wasn’t even the concept of sharing a sleeping bag or a bed, since I knew neither of them would make me do that. It was the idea of lying there, vulnerable, with not one but two guys in the same room as me, despite how much I trusted both.
I reached for the tissues, pulling out a few and handing them to Marina. “Do whatever makes you feel safe, okay?” I encouraged gently.
They were both looking at me with the most concerned eyes… a crack ran down the length of my heart. Shit. What was I supposed to do? I didn’t want to disappoint either of them, neither did I want to leave Mercutio alone with Joe, but the thought of sleeping here…
Finally, I accepted the tissues from Mercutio’s outstretched hand and scooted backwards. “I—It’s fine. I can—I can stay.”
“If you’re certain, Marina.” I sighed, not quite believing her.
Joe leaned back slightly. “I could get you another room?” he suggested, but I shook my head. “Where? We’d get caught. I-I’ll be fine.”
“Maybe we can divide the room in half? So you get one side o yourself?” I suggested, my voice a bit scratchy.
I flinched. “But—I don’t want to hug that much room to myself.”
I shook my head. “It’s not a problem, right Joe?” I looked at the other boy, silently vowing to punch his lights out if he didn’t agree.
“Of course not, he answered firmly. But still, I hesitated. “If—If you’re sure…”
“We’re absolutely certain.” I smiled reassuringly at Marina. “Its all yours.”
Joe nodded to confirm, and my composure crumbled. “O-Okay. Yeah. I——Thank you.”
I wanted to hug her more than anything. But I didn’t dare move a muscle. “You should finish your water. Might help you a bit.” I rubbed at my mouth with the back of my hand, dehydrated after vomiting up any liquids left in my system.
I shook my head and pushed the glass into his hands. “You must be thirsty. You can have it. Tiny sips, take it slow.”
“But, Marina—“ I protested weakly, shaking my head. “You need it more than I do.” I held the glass out for her to take, my hands still trembling.
I got to my feet and stepped away, wanting him to drink, not me. “Drink up.”
I sat on my knees, taking a small sip of water. The cool water soothed my throat, allowing me to relax a little bit. I tried my best to pace myself, but I may have ended up chugging some of it.
I flattened myself against the opposite wall. “What time is it?”
I finished the water and set down the glass, staring up at Marina. She seemed to want to be as far away from me as possible. It sucked. I fumbled to pull out my phone. “It’s around 7. God—my parents are gonna kill me.”
"Shit," I swore, but an idea quickly rose to mind. "Tell them you're sleeping over at Romeo's, and ask Romeo to cover for you. I'll do the same, but with Juliet."
“Right, yeah. Okay…” I got to texting Romeo, it wouldn’t be the first time he covered for me anyways. I hit send and ran my hands through the rambunctious curls on my head.
I lowered myself gently onto the ground and fumbled for my phone, not noticing when Joe stood to hesitantly approach me.
MARINA: *Julie? I need u to cover for me… please?
JULIET: already on it. what's wrong? are you okay?
MARINA: smtg came up… i'll explain some of it tmrw, promise. i'm going to tell my parents that I'm sleeping over with you, is that okay?
JULIET: 100%. please be safe…
I glared at Joe, but didn’t stop him. It wasn’t my place to, as much as I wanted to defend Marina. Instead I sat still, texting Romeo.
ROMEO: Cover for you? Who’s the lucky one tonight?
MERCUTIO: It’s not like that. Please, man. Just cover.
ROMEO: Sure it isn’t. Use protection.
MERCUTIO: Bye.
After all of this stuff with Marina, the thought of having sex with someone again made me ill. Was that a thing? To not want anyone sexually? Or am I just going insane?
"Marina."
A voice pulled me from a hazy web of thoughts. Joe's voice, to be specific. I raised my head, blinking rapidly. "Joe?"
"Hey." Moving cautiously, he sat down beside me, careful to leave a few feet of empty space between us. Why was he acting like this? Like he knew? "Marina.. I just wanted to make sure that, you know, you're alright. I–I'm just worried about you."
I scrolled through my instagram, trying to look busy while eavesdropping on Joe and Marina’s conversation. A twinge of jealously struck bat my heart, but I ignored it. They’re just friends.
My breath hitched. He didn't know. Right?
"I'm fine," I forced out, gluing my eyes to the floor beneath the folds of my pale blue dress. "I just—I got anxious. Stuff happened early today. I was… unbalanced."
“Joe? Do you think you could get the sleeping bags now?” I interrupted, unable to sit still and listen to this. It made me antsy and anxious. It was something i couldn’t handle at the moment.
Joe ignored both Mercutio's complaints and my stiff posture. "Marina…." he sighed. "You don't have to tell my why that all happened. But I need you to acknowledge that it did, that something is wrong. Because there's no way you're fine. I know you."
Not as well as you might think.
After a moment, I nodded. "I'm not fine right now, but I will be. I promise."
I fidgeted, rapidly growing anxious. What about give her space do you not understand? He wanted to growl before punching Joe’s lights out. But he didn’t have the dexterity to successfully complete that feat at the moment.
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