"I–I thought about suicide numerous times. Attempted it. Either utterly failed or backed out like a coward. But I kept–I kept trying. I wanted to end it all. I eventually learned that the government was keeping tabs on me through some rumors in the streets. I broke into a few of their facilities to gather whatever information they had on me. Was never caught–until the one time. I was twelve at the time." She wrung her fingers. "They caught me, and I couldn't escape. Didn't escape. All the fight left in me just… quit. I gave up. On it all. They ordered an execution–a public execution. Like a witch." She barked an unamused laugh. "I would've been famous–a proven witch in the modern century that repeatedly outsmarted the government and publicized their most secret facilities. I knew I was going to be executed–and I was glad." A single tear ran down her cheek. "I wanted it," she whispered, staring off into the past.
He pulled her closer to him, not saying a word, but only because he had no clue what to say.
"The day of my execution, a man came into the police station where I was being held. He wore a fancy suit and talked to the police. Then he came over to me. I remember him crouching down to face me, since I was sitting on the floor and messing with my shoe laces. He asked me if I wanted to die. Not even a second after he said it, I said yes. I guess he saw something inside of me, because he sat on the floor too and talked to me. About… nothing and everything. We talked for about ten minutes before a cop came in to tell him to go. The man looked at me, then did the most unexpected thing. He paid my ridiculously high bail, then even more to pay off the cop. He set me free, and gave me a second chance at life."
She let out a shaky breath. "He was the underboss of a family of Cosa Nostra. He offered me a job, and I took it. I worked with Cosa Nostra until I was sixteen, being hired by multiple families to break into high risk areas they normally wouldn't go for, acting as a mercenary when needed, making really good money. I was close with most of the bosses, but I was especially close to the family that took me under their wing. Their boss was like a father to me, and I a daughter to him. Those were probably the best years of my life before meeting Cinthia."
He nodded as she talked, rubbing her back gently, careful to avoid any wounds.
"I'm still… not right. Sometimes my nightmares and memories cause panic attacks, and I just lose it. Sometimes I think about asking Cinthia to end my suffering. Other times I think of just stealing some of Fenris's poisons, getting rid of my ichor, and just chugging them. Every time I see Agdrin or any of his cronies, I just want to call it quits and let him be done with me."
He hesitated for a moment, then asked, "Did you feel that way when I remembered who was?"
"I felt… betrayed, I guess. But when I watched you fight against yourself, I knew there was more hope for you. I never… felt that way."
"That was the weirdest thing ever," he said, deciding to change the topic.
She huffed a laugh, grateful. "I can imagine."
"It felt like those Sleep paralysis dreams where it's so crowded in your room that you can even breathe."
She exaggerated a shiver. "Creepy. I'm glad I don't have to do anything like that."
"You didn't let me finish. Then, you have to force yourself to push everyone out of the room blindfolded."
She covered her eyes and playfully shoved him away, a small smile growing over her lips.
He threw his arms back dramatically, fake-falling off the couch and landing on the floor with a thump
She leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. "That wasn't so hard. What're you complaining about?"
"I'm only one person. And you didn't have a person worming through your brain as you do all that."
"Ah. I see. My bad." She smiled down at him.
Thank you, Runner. You've helped me a lot more than you realize.
He got back up on to the couch. "How're you feeling? Like, physically?"
She rolled her shoulders and rubbed her stomach. Little to no pain. "Better. The poison's going away, so my healing blood is coming back and doing its job."
"Awesome." He glanced at the TV as there was a loud explosion, then back to Tess.
She sighed dramatically and stood. "I'll keep watch, but that's it for me. I'm not sure my wings can hold my weight yet, and don't particularly feel like crashing down to earth due to a cramp."
He shrugged, walking out to the balcony. In a blue flash, he was a twisting mass of dragon, swooping close by a window.
She walked out as well and leaned against the railing, watching him dance around in the sky with a mindless smile.
He glided over to the balcony, hovering in place for a moment. "Want a ride?"
"Like I ever would." He moved horizontally to the railing. "Just hold on to my mane."
She climbed over the railing and onto his back. She situated herself, then patted him. "Ready."
He started off, maybe moving half of the speed he usually would and forgoing the twirls, spins, and other fancy things.
