forum I'll critique/Beta read your stories!
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@TryToDoItWrite

:) how could I be mad? You're sweet enough to offer your opinion and you never set a date lol !

glad to know that you want to know because i can definitely talk about it *cracks knuckles * you'd better buckle up. this will take a while

so the world is more cutthroat than in previous versions and is based more on nationality than before. the native people (Fenin and Camille's people) are oppressed by the rulers of the Empire. They were conquered about fifty years before the start of the story and instead of just "suppressing" their rune's powers with a magic seal or something, the Empire actually physically burned and scarred over the runes of all the people and they systematically check the non-citizens (natives) to make sure everyone's runes are destroyed. This is the environment Camille was raised in. Her mother secretly collected old runes, those that hadn't been found and destroyed, etched on stone or metal. She taught Camille that there is a Resistance movement, one that is finding runes and searching for rune users and helping natives escape to the non-Imperial country of Nashua to the north. Camille's mother is caught and executed for her rebellious action, but Camille and Joseph (her brother) get away by pretending to be part of the Imperial army. However, Camille and Joseph end up getting separated in the military camp. He gets caught and arrested. Camille, still disguised, is on a truck full of shackled prisoners being taken to somewhere unknown. That's where she meets Fenin.
Fenin is a rune user. He wasn't raised in the Empire, but in a secret society in the mountains. Some rune users escaped before the Empire truly took over everything and have been living for those fifty years isolated from everyone. Their culture is one of fear, superstition and strict adherence to the old ways. Fenin is actually an outcast from this society because his rune is the color red, which symbolizes his destiny for evil. He runs away from there at the age of 12. He fends for himself by a variety of illegal and dangerous things. He gets caught grave robbing and that's why he's in the prison truck.

and that's just the setup

on second thought maybe i should try to give fewer details so that you won't have a 2k document to read lol

Camille and Fenin essentially strike a deal. she'll help him get out of the country with the help of the Resistance if he'll help her get Joseph out of prison first. They run into acquaintances of Fenin who also want to leave the country, so they all team up.
Crap hits the fan. things never go as planned. Isabel (one of the acquaintances) gets captured too. Betrayal happens. Blood, sweat, and tears happen. they almost die multiple times. In the end, the Resistance is proven to have died out long ago and Camille can't actually follow through on her promise. Fenin shares his secret about his past and helps her anyway. They bond and all that…they rescue their friends.
then at the very end of the novel, where they're all safe and happy (ish…its still a crappy world) war breaks out between the Empire and the neighboring country of Nashua. The Nashuans open with a surprise attack on the Capital city.

the second book will be about the war and Camille and Fenin's role in it !!!!!
they don't get together til the end of the second book….possible the third (the plot doesn't seem to ever end????)

Deleted user

@TryToDoItWrite

Gah that sounds so good! I would love to read it! How did you come up with such a fantastic plot? Mine is in shambles.

Deleted user

@Smallfry finished! I love it, by the way :) there's a whole rant about it on the doc for your to read XD

@TryToDoItWrite

Ohhhhhhhh this plot did not start out that way…it started out in shambles too…cliched, vauge, full of holes and jumps
i changed plots at least 20-25 times, always checking back to see if characters or subplots were neccesary (70% of the time they weren't)
i took the time to just go for it and write out every single thing that i wanted to happen in order then tweaked and tweaked again
and still….i'm constatnatly changed as i'm writing, sometime sin the middle of the scene (would not recommend this particalue method btw because all of my writing is constatly needed to be updated)
like just now….i'm writing a scene at the end and i'm thinking the plot would really flow better if i took out a particular subplot that happens right before the end and toss it into the second book

edit: you should know i've been working on this plot for over two years so don't feel bad about your plot! it'll get there!!

Deleted user

Cliched, vague, and full of holes and jumps? Sounds like my plot! XD I really really need a subplot or some kind of complexity to my main plot because it's just boring. Ugh. I'm going to spend a lot of time on it over spring break, hopefully that'll result in some progress. Thanks for the info & encouragement, it's really inspiring :)

Deleted user

Thanks for the offer! I might take you up on that :)

@JordenMor

I'd be happy to edit/critique your writing if you need it :)

I don't know about writing specifically at the moment but if I type out the villain conundrum, would you help with that?

Deleted user

I'd be happy to edit/critique your writing if you need it :)

I don't know about writing specifically at the moment but if I type out the villain conundrum, would you help with that?

Of course! :)
I’m so sorry I didn’t see this until now, I’m on vacation and haven’t been online.