forum funking,,,,,,,,JEANUBIS
Started by @AloeVera groupMentallyImInACottage
tune

people_alt 68 followers

@AloeVera groupMentallyImInACottage

Here It Is

Jenny and I actually collabbed on this AU!!! so it features both of our writings:)
anyway I call this the AU AU goodluck!

She reapplies the brass knuckles before quickly turning to me, bending her knee, and delivering an uppercut to my chin, sending my head upwards which in turn causes my whole body to fall backwards with the chair from the impact.
Jean is still silent.
She turns back to the phone, awaiting a reaction from Jean.
"I'm not going to die today." He utters, thankfully, followed by what I can only assume is the girl sighing in frustration. She approaches the table in silence I try to see what she's grabbing, but her back covers what little light I had to use, especially from my angle on the floor.
"Maybe not," She murmurs, turning to me and pointing a gun directly at my head before finishing her sentence. "but he will."
She waits for Jean to stop her, but instead he says something neither of us could have predicted.
"Then kill him." I inhale sharply and look to the girl, alarmed that it was ending so quickly.
The last thing I hear is the gunshot before everything stops, quickly fading from my vision.
I didn't know which hurt more.

The familiar empty, floating feeling surrounds me once again. Not necessarily painful, but the feeling makes me want to stretch, yet I can’t move. I want to reach for something solid. Somehow though, I know there’s nothing around me at all.
And I wake up into the next one. I’m in my familiar navy blanket. I get in that good stretch I so desperately wanted to feel only moments ago, but it’s not as satisfying. I scan my room, but nothing is diff-
“Anubis! Wake up! It’s time to wake the fuck up!” Jean barges through my door with a huge grin on his face. I flinch and cover Jean with my hand, as if he is the sunlight or something. What version of Jean is this?
“I wake up when I want to,” I groan. All of a sudden I feel his grip around my wrist and I’m being pulled to the kitchen. I squint at Jean - who’s wearing a bright pink shirt. Yet, his shirt does not compare to the decorations in his house; random abstract paintings on certain walls, weird trinkets scatter across shelves and the blanket on the couch is a bright blue. The house itself isn’t cluttered, just more lively.
Jean scoffs, “Oh, you silly goose! You’re always tired! It’s time to have fun, Anubis. Do you know what fun is?” I raise a gay eyebrow. Jean is bouncing off the walls, tapping his foot, fidgeting in excitement for something I’m unaware of. His energy rose exponentially higher than mine. You’d think I could predict what could happen in every universe, but it’s always a surprise.
“I need this to end,” I mutter under my breath, but Jean doesn’t hear. He seems to be too slap-happy to care.
“I have a whole agenda for us today, Anny! Just look at this sweet list! We’re gonna work out and then…” I stop listening as he points to each bullet on the small notepad.

Jean drags me to countless things and by the end of the day, my body feels overworked and I’m ready to sleep at almost 8:00 p.m. Yet, it didn’t end. Day by day went exactly like this, and it is quite difficult to convince Jean to leave me alone. But, I made a small discovery when we relaxed on the couch with a couple of shots of whiskey.
If anyone knows the different versions of Jean when he’s drunk, they’d know that his party drunk is the most out of character for him. I guess, when I say ‘they’, I could only refer to myself. Anyway, the situation with that assertion is that this Jean, when he’s sober, is much more weird and wild than regular Jean’s party drunk. I didn’t connect the dots until the first time I saw this Jean’s angry drunk.
This is probably really confusing, but bear with me - whoever is seeing this.
“Alright, GG, what’s next?” I had huffed, sighing in exhaustion.
Jean didn’t answer, but instead took another swig of his whiskey, pouring more into his cup and slamming the bottle onto the table.
Confused, I look over at him and notice something almost painfully familiar about his change of appearance.
He looked incredibly tired. Not just tired from all we had done that day, but he looked like he just got back from hell.
He looked normal again.
And, if I’m being honest, I missed it.
For a while, I debated with myself. I’d wait for him to suggest drinking and then inconspicuously trick him into drinking more, occasionally bringing up subjects that might piss him off. Angry drunk Jean in this universe was my normal Jean, and I longed to see that side of him, but I didn’t realize it until today. I had been in this cycle for so long, how long has it been?
I don’t condone drinking, especially to the extent he’s reached so far, but whenever he’s sober, I’d rather he’s dead. He’s too much to handle, it’s not right and I hate having to deal with it. Today, I became so impatient and tired, that I practically force him to drink.
“We’ve had whiskey for like a week straight. I’m more in the mood for a fruit smoothie, don’t you think?” he chimes, opening the fridge and grabbing some ingredients. I violently snatch the bottle of whiskey and slam it into his chest, forcing him to catch it as I glare at him.
“Well I’m in the mood to get drunk,” I snap, almost as if I’m trying to get him to repeat my words robotically. Almost as if that sentence isn’t complete. Jean kind of looks at me with a shocked expression, but tries his best to shrug it off as he pops open the bottle and pours himself a glass.
“You’ve been drinking a lot lately, Anny, there something up with that?”
God, I hate that nickname. Or maybe I don’t, I don’t know, I’m just irritated right now. The truth about my drinking habit is I haven’t been drinking nearly as much as Jean. I took a few sips until Jean was too drunk to notice, then I’d give him my cup. If he dies, at least I’ll get a normal Jean back, right? Does this end?
“Sure, if that bothers you, I don’t care.”
Yes, I do. I hope it did. He’ll get angry drunk if it bothers him. He sighs heavily and takes a swig of the drink. I watched him in anticipation.
Am I wrong for doing this? What really is wrong anymore? I’ve suffered not only my own death, but Jean’s, hundreds and hundreds of times, I’ve become too desensitized to it to care. Just give me a normal Jean again.
“Whatever.”
He utters, already drunk.
Something inside me relaxes, feeling more comfortable with Jean back to his ‘’normal’’ state.
I hold back the corners of my lips from twitching into a smile as I take a quick sip of the whiskey. Things are normal now. Other than the strange decorations in the house that he still tolerated on his walls. Something tells me Prince prefers angry Jean, too. Unless that’s just me trying to justify myself, I don’t really care anymore. I’m tired. I close my eyes and rest my head against the wall.
“Got any jobs recently?” I inquire to Jean, but receive no answer, which I’m used to, so it’s nice to r-
Jean drops his cup as it shatters onto the floor, spilling everywhere and staining the floor. I open my eyes and watch him as he doubles over, losing his balance and falling to his knees, coughing.
“Hey, hey hey! Jean, what’s going on?”
He can’t even answer as he clutches his stomach, vomiting so immensely that I see blood. I place a hand on his shoulder, only to be met with a cold touch. I start to panic, especially when Jean can’t even hold himself up anymore, and falls into the mess he made on the floor, barely conscious.
No, it wasn’t supposed to happen this way. He wasn’t supposed to die when he was angry drunk.
I lied. It still hurts to see Jean die, even if I have experienced it hundreds of times. I roll him onto his back and smack his face a few times in a desperate attempt to keep him conscious.
“Hey! Jean, hey, c’mon, wake up. You can’t die yet, not right now. Jean!”
Despite his slow and heavy breathing, Jean starts shaking violently. His eyes roll back in his head as foam joins the residue on the edges of his mouth. I panic, unable to think of what to do except sit and watch, yelling excessively loudly. It’s not like he can hear me.
After a few minutes, his shaking cools down, the foaming stops, and his eyes return; but Jean himself does not.
“Jean, please come back.”
I whisper with a broken voice, my throat tightening and my eyes puffing up as I resist tears. His breathing continues to drop as I check his pulse in his wrist.
I must be too fidgety to feel it there, I’ll check his neck.
No, it’s usually faint in the neck, right?
I lower my head onto his chest, placing my ear directly above his heart.
His chest rises and lowers every ten seconds, but the interval time increases with each exhale.
This is probably the slowest, most painful death Jean has experienced; and it’s because - I inhale, a sudden realization drifting onto my conscious - of my selfish wants. It’s because I didn’t like this version of him. It’s because I preferred when he was angry drunk, because at least he was normal. I put Jean through the worst death possible.
Even if the next Jean is back to normal, it’ll only be bittersweet.

@AloeVera groupMentallyImInACottage

surprise

Uh it's canon and also it's called uh
"The Incident"
I hold my breath for a few seconds, just to make sure all the stress collected in the initial inhale, as my exhale grows accompanied by the vapors and fumes. I'm tired. That's obvious, I guess, but I just might fall asleep on the couch. I don't know when Anubis would be getting back home-or, here, I guess. I check the clock before the weed sets in.
It's only four o'clock, I've got plenty of time until I have to go have dinner with my family. I managed to get out of the house more often now that I have my own house, but since Crystal still lives with them, and Kristopher for some reason likes them, I'm obligated to join them at least every week for dinner. God, I'm hungry.
One snack is fine until dinner, right? No harm in just a snack.
But should I even try standing up? My body already feels heavy. I let out a gentle laugh, not sure why, though. I roll onto my side as my heavy eyelids clos-no, I'm way too hungry.
I jump up, immediately regretting my decision as my feet float upwards, the rest of my body leaning backwards.
I don't hit the floor. I look around, my eyes burning as I try to focus on something.
"Anubis? What are you doing here?"
He's staring at something in his hands, probably a lighter.
"It needs to be done."
"What nee-"
His face morphed. It was Kristopher.
"I said it needs to be done, otherwise you won't learn your lesson. Christ, Jean, you'd think you'd realize by now, there's no getting away with anything in this house of discipline."
"You're not my father, and you'll never be anything like him."
He held his arms out in an authoritative laughter, his voice distorting as he grows in size, blood dripping from his eyes and nose.
"That just means you will."
I turn my heel and run, but I don't seem to be going anywhere.
What was I running from again?
"It had to be done. He was better off dead, anyway."
I don't recognize that voice. It's that of a woman's. Have I heard it before? I feel like I could have, but where?
Prince walks by my legs, meowing and rubbing on them. This usually means he needs something, but for some strange reason, I doubt that it's actually Prince at my feet. His meowing grows more aggressive. He barely meows this much, what's wrong with him?
Anubis picks him up and holds him in his arms.
"Sorry about that. He just misses me."
Anubis? He was here today, Prince isn't that clingy. But clearly Prince wanted something.
"That's fine…" I utter, not sure why I'm saying what I'm saying. Anubis looks at me with a look of determination in his eyes, his goofy smile fading to a hardened glare. His face was so cold and empty that it almost felt like looking in a mirror.
Then it was. I was staring at my own face. My red, puffy eyes filled with a lack of any emotion. My scruff growing a bit thicker to emphasize the laziness that I've been experiencing lately. The hair down to show I'd either just woken up or just crawled out of my family's house. It was a hideous reflection, but it's really what I look like. Maybe I should at least make an attempt to clean myself up. He stares directly into my eyes, furrowing his brows until he utters one word, almost as if he's trying to call me or get my attention.
"Tushar."
I jump back in shock, but when I blink my eyes, I'm on the floor next to the couch.
In my living room.
I gaze at the clock.
Shit, it's 7:12. I need to get to my family's house before I'm late.
I probably shouldn't have gotten into my car when I was just recovering from a high, but I slept most of it off, right? Plus, my family's house isn't that far; driving there is practically muscle memory by now.
I pull up to the house, barely turning off the engine before I rush out, borderline late by now. As I approach the house, I notice something; the front door was left open a crack.
That wasn't necessarily uncommon; Crystal and I don't bother to close the door when we storm out of the house in anger, but Crystal tends to maintain her composure during family dinner.
I do what I can only hope is a tip toe up the stairs, gently pushing the door open.
I don't think I've recovered from my high. Am I still dreaming?
"Anubis?"

@AloeVera groupMentallyImInACottage

guys i want u to know that i'm on a call w jenny as she was reading that and she repeated "oohhhh nooooo" every 5 seconds while reading that

@AloeVera groupMentallyImInACottage

Us: writes super sad AUs where one character dies and another character suffers greatly
Tammy: :(
Jenny: hey i was writing a gr8 AU but i lost it
Tammy: :)

@vidari-is-tired-in-advance group

ouch my dude. btw what would u guys think of an AU where their neighbor figures out they’re murderers, probs while they are hiding a body? i wouldn’t be able to write it for a while cause i am swamped w/ homework but i really want to

@AloeVera groupMentallyImInACottage

i love it but im already imagining the conversation
"GREG!!! GET OVER HERE!! THE TWINK WITH THE FIRE AND THE GUY WITH THE MILLENNIAL HAIR KILLED SOMEONE!!!"

@AloeVera groupMentallyImInACottage

sup fuckers

it's the One (1) year anniversary of Jeanubis!!!!!!!!!
a year ago Jean had no personality and no background story and Anubis had just been created!!!!
now these two are the most developed characters that jenny and i have

that's pretty cool i guess

i'm working on an AU to celebrate but it's not anything special because I didn't realize it had been a year until a few days ago :'D

@AloeVera groupMentallyImInACottage

Hey guys

I call this AU
"I Don't Know Where I Was Going The Whole Time I Was Writing This" AU

I wouldn't call myself a hero. I'm merely a man, but even then, I might even be less than that. Maybe occasionally, as I stare blankly into the face of a disgusting man as I put a bullet in his brain, the helpless Would-Be victim of his thanks me for saving them. I had other options, though. I could have saved the man, put him in prison and kept his life. Maybe then I would be doing something good in this world. I don't think sending people to hell is all that good.
I wouldn't call myself a hero, but Anubis? Anubis was a villain.
That psychopath of a man didn't even do it for the money. He didn't do it for justice; he did it because he liked it. He could look the man in his eyes and smile. He probably wouldn't even care if I died, which is why I could never trust him. I suppose the feeling is mutual, though, so I can't blame him for that.
We separated again after I realized he was having too much fun, but occasionally I'd see him pop up online. Not in the way you'd think. I didn't see him accepting jobs or requesting jobs, no. He erased his steps too quickly. I saw news of big corporations getting hacked, money redistributed, public lectures going awry when the speaker's embarrassing photos suddenly show up on screen. I knew it was always Anubis, and all I could see was that sick smile. The one with the crooked teeth, the tilted head, the twitching eye. It sickened me.
I was working a more laid back job; I guess I could refer to it as my day job. A friend of an acquaintance called asking that I tail a suspicious girlfriend. I needed something to do to relax, so driving around seemed pretty easy. I'd sat in front of her house for a few hours now, scrolling through my feed, when I get a text from an unknown number.
"39.9537° N, 83.0281° W"
Of course it was Anubis. I knew he wanted me to look up the coordinates out of curiosity, but it's not like it mattered. He probably hacked the Maps app so that if I looked up those coordinates, he'd get my phone. I wouldn't let him do that. Instead I blocked the number and turned off my phone. Why he wanted to come back after all this time, I didn't know, but I didn't want him back. I hate him, right?
I hear the girl exiting her house, saying goodbye to whoever, as she gets into her car. I sigh, waiting for her to drive a bit away before I start my car and follow her. I assumed she'd be going to another guy's house, or to a club or something, but she made a suspicious turn. One that led us to a more secluded area, with country roads.
Did she know I was tailing her? Was she suspicious? I didn't take her to be that smart, in fact even her driving was almost absent-minded. I increase the distance between us two to see if that helps. We're on a long stretch of land, with only a few other cars passing us. She slows down, causing me to slow down even further. She slows down some more, what's going on? She's going 20 miles below the speed limit.
By the time she's reached 30 below, I realize her motive; she wants me to pass her.
I sigh, defenseless as I switch lanes and pass her, but I still stay within sight of her behind me.
That is, until we reach a dead end. I slow my car to stop. She stops too. I stay in the car, but I watch her from my rear view mi-
What the fuck?
Her car door opened, but it was not her that stepped out.
It was Anubis.
I exhale sharply and roll my eyes, opening the door, jumping out and slamming it closed.
"What the hell?" I immediately start yelling, throwing my hands up in the air in frustration.
"Calm down, I just want to talk." He mutters, holding his hands up as if he's calming a fucking horse. His words were oddly calm. He wasn't excitable or cheery or trying to tease me. His voice was solemn. How much had he changed over the years?
"No, fuck you! You're wasting my fucking time."
"Jean, you need to hear me ou-"
"I thought we agreed to never talk to each other again." I turn away from him, back to my car, waving him off as I start to leave.
"For Christ's sake, GG, would you please just listen to me?"
Something about hearing Anubis yell those words at me in a broken voice caused me to freeze. Unless it was something else. Unless it just him being there after so long that threw me off. Unless it was the surprise of not knowing this was how my day would end. I almost thought he was about to cry, but I knew he wouldn't. He doesn't.
"You're terrible at your job, Jean."
"You fucking set me up." I snapped, shooting a glare at him.
"I'm not talking about today. You slip up and you hesitate so much, it almost hurts to watch."
"What do you know about hurt?" I spit, crossing my arms.
"We worked better as a team,"
I stiffen, frozen in place, ceased by the realization that he had come to long ago, the realization that I repeatedly rejected, the realization that we missed each other.
The sun's last slivers peaked behind the horizon, adding an orange-golden tint to the surrounding area. The humidity that the country was known to have, started to fade with the sun. I could feel his eyes on me.
Anubis continued.
"Nothing's the same anymore. I forget to do things that you usually do. I stopped taking field jobs because it was just too much to do alone. We have to stay toge-"
"You're only killing because you like it."
"And why are you killing people? Clearly you're still killing because something inside you likes it. I'm not the only crazy one here, Jean."
I inhale deeply, clenching my fist as he speaks. I have a tendency to be too proud to admit something of myself, but this is ridiculous. Am I really going to say it? What kind of manipulation is this?
I turn around and face Anubis, the last hint of the sun's glow illuminating his hopeful eyes. I walk up to him, staring intently, before wrapping my arms around him and sighing heavily. The following words I spoke almost lifted the weight of the world off of my shoulders.
"I missed you, Anubis."

@vidari-is-tired-in-advance group

happy anniversary my dudes!

im honestly incredibly impressed with what you guys were able to do with these two characters in the space of a year! the AU is very soft and nice and not sad, and i am a large fan of the writing! it’s very good. these two starcrossed murder children are wonderful wonderful, and im so happy to play even a small part in their journey