quoting vines
Kid1: Listen up you better buckle down and get your work done or you're going to end up at mcdonalds
Kid2- wAiT wE gOiN tO mCdOnAlDs If i DonT dO mY wOrK
Kid3: you can't mcfreakin do that to the mcfreakin turtles you mickfricken idiots
can i get some napkins
we don't sell napkins
my bad can i get some MCNAPKINS
(Learning bowling in gym)(it was something like this)
Teacher: Where do we want to throw the ball?
Student: At out friend
Teacher: The middle pin, so you can get a strike
Student: I still say throw it at your friend
"I was playing drums with the pencils and I cut my wrist"
sometimes I worry about my friend's sanity
In a circle, doing squats with our arms linked
"squat squad squat squad sQUAT SQUAD SQUAT SQUAD"
I tried, I ended up saying squat very weirdly
I forgot to put it in there that we were chanting
If you ever wondered just how sheltered my family is, my little brother just told my mom that my sister was watching something bad on YouTube, as in something with bad words in it. So my mom walked over to see what she was watching, and sure enough, we hear the baddest of bad words to ever bad:
“Oh my g*d”.
…That’s it. He was freaking out because someone didn’t use “gosh”…
If you ever wondered just how sheltered my family is, my little brother just told my mom that my sister was watching something bad on YouTube, as in something with bad words in it. So my mom walked over to see what she was watching, and sure enough, we hear the baddest of bad words to ever bad:
“Oh my g*d”.
…That’s it. He was freaking out because someone didn’t use “gosh”…
wowie, wouldn't want him watching what i watch, considering there's entire compilations of dan cursing and dan & phil innuendos…
If you ever wondered just how sheltered my family is, my little brother just told my mom that my sister was watching something bad on YouTube, as in something with bad words in it. So my mom walked over to see what she was watching, and sure enough, we hear the baddest of bad words to ever bad:
“Oh my g*d”.
…That’s it. He was freaking out because someone didn’t use “gosh”…
Wow that is really bad compared to my family, where we were just watching John Mulaney shows together
"I STEPPED INTO MY WOOOOOOOOOOOOORM!" Followed by panicked screeching.
whispers "So, I got the chicken nuggets."
Some random freshman: I jerked off in a cardboard box.
I was playing SSB4 so I was internally panicked and I almost died…
Our first year we had an intruder on campus drill and my class was in the band room. This being a new school for most of us, we had no idea what we were supposed to do, since most hand't been in a band room during this kind of drill. So, naturally, we just kind of stood there, some kids got under chairs and some tables, trying to hide and whatnot, but then the band teacher came out of the office and noticed that the vast majority of students were just standing around like a bunch of useless paperclips. He litterally smacked the whiteboard and yelled "What do you think you're doing? Do you want to get shot? Hide! Act like you've done this before!" And everyone started to find places to hide in the class. And trust me when I tell you that if you give a bunch of freshmen students a huge bandroom with dozens of cabinets and crawl spaces that will make themselves g o n e. Within a matter of minutes, our entire class had hidden themselves in the trombone cabinets, the stand carts, the low woodwind cubbies, and in every possible dark corner that may or may not be portals to dark dimensions. There were two juniors in our class at that time who both played the trombone, and instead of hiding they both stood on either side of the band door holding their instruments. A kid who played the flute and was hiding inside of the percussion cart asked them why they weren't hiding and one of them just looked her dead in the eye and said "Since neither of us have any regard for our lives, if the intruder comes in her we have been instructed to beat them to a pulp with our instruments." And like half of the class started to laugh, but the girl in the percussion cabinet just kinda looked at them concerned before proceeding to lock herself in the cart.
We had an actual dude with a gun and a knife on campus when I was in first grade…
Kids were on the playground when he walked in
"Pens don't belong on plates daNIEL!" Throws pen
"I SWEAR TO WATERBOY THAT POP TARTS ARE REALLY JUST FANCY RAVIOLI"
bc you didn't post it first @alto1522
"Don't trust Mark (Name changed for the person's privacy) with a nerd sword, he'll mess some people up"
-heard in my English class today
"A peace sign and an okay sign can both be changed to a middle finger quickly, don't test me."
Drama teacher: opens door and yells into the hallway is there an extra body out there I can use?
Student: You can use mine. But it still has my soul in it…
"I-i though I was a beautiful flower. BUT IN REALITY I'M A CRAPPY PIG IRON MAKER! WHYYY?"
Drama teacher: opens door and yells into the hallway is there an extra body out there I can use?
Student: You can use mine. But it still has my soul in it…
All the best shit comes from drama.
"I don't eat chicken nuggets because they're shaped like dinos. I eat them because I only like dinosaur chicken nuggets."
"They're all processed anyways."
"Yeah, but if they aren't dinos they're crap."
"I don't eat chicken nuggets because they're shaped like dinos. I eat them because I only like dinosaur chicken nuggets."
"They're all processed anyways."
"Yeah, but if they aren't dinos they're crap."
I just came here to mention that my baby sister has been carrying around dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets everywhere she's walked for the last hour
"What…nice…elbows…" (Reading lines from Thoroughly Modern Millie)
Whispered loudly from the chorus "What the school board thinks guys are like."
When my friend's shirt slips a bit off of her shoulder, everyone yells dress code. We do it whenever someone is out of dress code as a joke. My friend turns and looks at everyone. "Oh woe is me, my shoulders are sooooo distracting."