forum funking,,,,,,,,JEANUBIS
Started by @AloeVera groupMentallyImInACottage
tune

people_alt 68 followers

@AloeVera groupMentallyImInACottage

Okay! So

mr. dumbass jean on his first kill:
He only burned the body. He went to a forest some hundred miles away from where he lives, along with some coal, gasoline, and matches, and he burned the body. it took. several hours. while it was burning, he was digging a grave. the grave itself was approximately 5-6 feet deep. he was exhausted. he went home and was very traumatized. he still had to clean his car, shower several times, clean his car again bc can he still smell it?? then cleaned his ca-

Mr. ok maybe i should be more effective jean on his next couple of kills:
He drained the body of the fluids then he burns the body's hands and feet to avoid fingerprints! then he takes it to a new forest every time (he travels a lot he doesn't rlly care he's got tons of money anyway so gas money doesn't matter and he could easily get a new car) and burns the body (he burns the hands and feet before hand for two reasons: if the body is discovered, there are no fingerprints and two: he believes it'll burn even more so while the rest of the body is burning, making it impossible to recover the fingerprints) and while it's burning he digs a 6 foot grave

Mr. Getting More Professional About This
He drains the fluids, then destroys teeth, finger and toeprints, and any attainable DNA (basically he burns the body) then drives it to another forest, with a pre-dug grave (up to 10 feet, but it varies between 7-10) and dumps the burnt body there. then he tosses a dead animal (most commonly it's roadkill) at about 5-6 feet above the body to turn up as a false positive if any nosy (hah) dogs sniff up the grave!

By the time he teams up with Anubis, Jean's default method of disposing of the body is the Third one i described. However! If his client specifies they want the body disposed a different way, (and if they agree to bump up the payment), then that's what Jean will do.

@AloeVera groupMentallyImInACottage

ok guys i've got 3 AU ideas on my scratchpad which one should i write

  1. Murder House Next Chapter
  2. A Recent AU but from the other's perspective
  3. Chaotic Wholesome AU

i swear if the three of u each choose a different one i'm going to cry

@AloeVera groupMentallyImInACottage

i hope to finish it today but i hit writer's block earlier so i'm takin a break buT be watchin 4 it tonight! or,,,,whatever the next handful of hours are for ur timezone

@AloeVera groupMentallyImInACottage

1am Wal-Mart +Movie Night AU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I gaze at the long line of sodas after placing a couple two liter bottles of diet Dr. Pepper into the cart. Anubis said ginger ale or root beer, but which of the two should I get? Eh, it doesn't matter; I'm using my dad's money so I'll just get both. I place a bottle of ginger ale into the cart, looking up to see Anubis, struggling to hold everything in his hands, walking up to me with a sour look on his face. Most likely from the open 2 lb. bag of Sour Patch Kids resting in his pile of snacks.
"Could you wait until we purchase the food to start eating it?" I utter as he drops some healthy ass chips, persimmons, and a ton of dark chocolate into the cart.
"We're buying it anyway, what does it matter?"
I sigh heavily, grabbing a bottle of root beer and placing it into the cart.
"Hey, I know you told me you're not high, but I'd like to drive home from here."
Anubis comments, earning a glare from me.
"Why?"
"Because you're high."
I scoff at him and cross my arms, shaking my head.
"I'm not."
"Jean, you just placed four bottles of Coca Cola into the cart. Neither of us drink Coke."
I jerk my head back at our cart, gazing disappointingly at the four bottles of coke that rested next to the candies Anubis grabbed.
"Not only that, but do you know how slowly you're going? You put the bottles in one at a time, as if you don't have two hands."
"They're heavy."
Anubis rolls his eyes and grabs two bottles of Coke from the cart, placing them back onto the shelf, does it again, then grabs a Diet Dr. Pepper, ginger ale, and root beer and tosses them into the cart.
"The ice cream isle is right next to us, let's go get some."
As Anubis places whatever healthy ice cream he found into the cart, we make our way to the checkout.
"You picked a move, right?"
Anubis's question causes me to freeze in my tracks. I completely forgot to grab a movie from the move rack.
Anubis sighs as he runs toward the designated section of the store.
"I can help the next customer!"
The cashier announces in her customer service voice as I approach her, placing the groceries onto the belt for her to scan. Anubis runs up next to me, huffing with two movies in his hand as he places the items next to mine.
"Oh, sir, could you place a separator between your items and his items?" She asks Anubis, causing Anubis to chuckle.
"Oh, no I'm with him."
The lady turns to me, as if waiting for me to approve. With a deadpan tone in my voice, I turn to the girl and utter.
"I have never seen that man in my life."
"Really, Jean?" Anubis snaps, furrowing a brow at me. I hold back a grin.
"My name's Daniel."
The girl stops at the movies and finalizes the transaction as Anubis crosses his arms.
I grab the groceries, turning to the exit with a huge grin on my face, as Anubis pays for the movies. He catches up to me in the parking lot, the gentle glow of the street lights barely lighting up the late night sky.
"You think you're funny."
"I know I'm funny."
Anubis shoots me a mischievous grin as he starts the car.
"Yeah? We'll see who's laughing when you find out what movies I got."
My smile drops as I give him a worried glare.
"What movies did you get?"
He's silent as he backs out of the parking lot, but he was grinning widely.

As we get home, Prince had managed to get into the cabinets again, and he had knocked over a glass, shattering it and trapping himself on the counter as he was too scared to jump to the shard-ridden floor.
He immediately started meowing upon us entering my house.
"I'll clean that up, you make the root beer floats." I utter to Anubis as I grab the broom and sweep up the glass, tossing it into the trash and picking up Prince. Prince doesn't like to admit that he enjoys being held, so he meowed angrily until I sat onto the couch with him in my lap.
Anubis placed the root beer floats onto the coffee table, next to the snacks. He sets up the movie, turning on the TV and then crash landing onto the couch next to me, causing Prince to stand up and walk over to him, resting in his lap. I scoff angrily and roll my shoulders as Anubis gives me a proud smirk.
"Alright, let's start the movie."

Hey guys i would love to wrap up the joke of what movie anubis chose that would make him laugh but jean angerey but we don't know anubis's favorite movies so i can't write that part but i wanna post this anyway hope u enjoyed it i'm 2 seconds away from death!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!