forum Harbor Cafe (characters wanted !)

Started April 04, 2018 by @_sleeby_rat_

tune

(FUCK GUYS NOW I HAVE TO BECAUSE IT'S MATT AND HOW COULD HE NOT)

Matt lunged for the scones but somehow misjudged his strength and the distance and crashed into Sam, tackling him to the ground behind the counter. "Get outta my way you way-too-serious-Dr. Who-fan."

"Says the one who tackled me just so he could touch my 'galactic ass!'" Sam grumbled from beneath him

"Stay away from the stools!" She yelled while locking herself in the back room in terror of the two.

"Ha, you wish my glorious hands would want to touch your outta-this-world batooty. That was just charity." Matt attempted to unlock his legs but couldn't. "Anything more, and a price must be paid!"

"Well if you're so desperate to keep me in a leg lock I might just pay you."

Amber popped out of the door, curious and also slightly weirded out. "Do you two gay fuckers want the back room, or…?"

Sam tried to wiggle his way out from under Matt, but realized the lack of space behind the counter made it impossible without Matt helping. "Shut it lightweight!" he yelled at Amber

She stepped out, making her way to the front doors. "Sorry, I'd rather not have you two getting it on behind my counter. That's where I make food, you know," she joked, trying not to laugh.

"Hey drunkard, are you going to get your ass off me or not? I can't move and a shelf is stabbing me in the back."

"God you're so freaking heavy. I can't even feel my legs anymore. Instead of just travelling galaxies do you absorb them too because god-damn I've never felt my legs fall asleep and now it's cuz of your dimension-eating fat ass." Matt tried pushing against the counter to let him out but it just caused him to roll instead.

"Play nice, boys," Amber said, leaning against a table at the front of the cafe.

Sam ended up bracing himself over Matt. He pointed a finger in front of the drunk's nose. "For your information my true form is a flaming lion the size of a skyscraper, where my human form is almost purely muscle."

"Oh that's why my legs are stuck. You're scraping skys all the time that you get so heavy when finally on the ground." Matt tried to push himself away against literally anything he could grab but he really didn't want to stress out that nice barista lady again with another broken thing. He just kind uselessly pushed against Sam. "Nice scone-lady please help."

"Fuck you, my legs are stuck now too." (also guys I have decided Sammy throws money at everybody because he has the persuasion skills of a fucking doorknob)

(lol okay)
"You're on your own," Amber said, scrolling through her phone. "Just please don't break anything else."

"You're an asshole lightweight, y'know that?" Sam grumbled, trying his best not to accidentally faceplant directly into Matt's nose

"Yeah, I know that. Also stop calling me lightweight or I might have to challenge you to another competition to prove my skills."

"There's no way in the underworld you would ever beat me in a smoking contest sweetheart."

"You wanna bet?" She said, putting her phone down and crossing her arms over her hoodie.

"I beat you last time, I'll beat you this time. At least I didn't pass out like a 15 year old taking their first hit." Sam was suddenly aware of the tray poking his elbow in just the way that he was pretty sure he might end up falling directly on Matt in roughly five minutes

Matt groaned and hid his face in his hands. He just wanted to hide and go die in a hole somewhere. "I need more liquor to deal with this." One hand began searching for a flask somewhere in his jacket pockets.

"Well, you have to consider that I was already stoned before I got here," she pointed out.

"Sure lightweight." Sam accidentally leaned forward a little too much, and his elbow buckled, sending his face directly into Matt's collarbone. "Oh my god."

She rolled her eyes. "Can't you just magic your way out of that?"

"I wish, but thanks to the storm and the fucking ocean I can barely do shit."

"GET YOUR FACE OFF MY ROYAL CHEST YOU WIBBLY WOBBLY TIMEY WHIMEY HORNSWAGLER" Matt flailed his arms about in panic and sadness he couldn't get his liquor.