"Of course he did. Of course he told you that."
I blinked rapidly to dispel the tears that threatened to arise, inhaling shakily and gripping my pen as hard as I could manage. Avoiding Romeo's eyes at all costs, I squeezed my own shut. "I'm not talking about it with you," I told him in a voice loaded with emotion, bullets that were only going to come around to shoot me in the back. This was a mistake, engaging in this kind of conversation. This was dangerous. If my father ever found out…
I was unbelievably curious over what secrets were being kept from me. Something that could break down Juliet had to be serious. Rafael was going on a secret meeting thing tomorrow. If I stayed home from school I could probably look around… “So if you’ve been screwing with my head for that long can I blame you for all the D’s I get in school? Or was I born stupid?” I glossed over our previous conversation, trying to calm Juliet down while restraining the urge to give her a bear hug.
I gave him a tense shrug, continuing to doodle flowers all over the lighter denim on the cuffs of my trousers. "You were probably born stupid, but I don't know," I told him, knowing that I was being unnecessarily harsh, but also knowing that it was the only way to recover from the stupid almost-breakdown I'd just suffered in front of him. "Are we going to do any actual work? On our project? The one that's worth thirty percent of our final mark?"
“Right… Yeah. I uh— I might not be in school tomorrow anyways.” I mumbled, looking over our sheet of notes. “So characters now?” I chewed on my pen, actually making an effort to think about this. My thoughts quickly drifted to the reckless plan forming in my head.
I shot him a questioning look but elected to say nothing on the matter, instead giving a small nod. "Yeah. Which one of us is going to be the runaway teen?" To be honest, that was the one role I was really hoping I would end up with, the whole idea of playing a character that slowly lost their mind drove me crazy with excitement.
“Do you have a preference? This is sort of your thing.” I picked up my pen, getting ready to write down whatever she decided on. I was actually… contented for once. Granted I still wanted to hug Juliet, and my plan for tomorrow made me anxious, but at the moment, everything felt safe. I adjusted my position, curling back up in the chair with my notes leaning against my knees.
(brb, I gotta go eat dinner)
I bit the inside of my cheek before nodding slowly. "I'll be the insane one, then, if that's alright with you." I winced as soon as I realized that I had asked for permission, and straightened my back. "What are we doing for the hallucination? Just a friend my character made up without realizing?"
(Okay!)
“Good with me.” I scribbled down ”Juliet—Runaway” and looked back up at her. “We didn’t work that out yesterday. Friend should work fine.” I wrote this down as well, happy she wasn’t as cold towards me as usual. “Maybe an imaginary friend from her childhood?” I absentmindedly began to chew on my pen in thought.
(bacc!)
"That's a good idea," I admitted grudgingly, brushing a lock of dark hair behind my ear. On the floor beside me, my phone buzzed, the screen lighting up with a text from none other than Marina.
MARINA: How's lover boy? I'm with Joe, btw
I sighed quietly before answering, sneaking a glance at Romeo.
JULIET: Go away, we're doing actual work
MARINA: Has he tried to kiss you yet?
JULIET: Fuck off, Mari
MARINA: U know u love me ;)
I took the pen out of my teeth and began to write everything on the page. When I finished, I looked back up at Juliet to see her texting. “I get it, you’re popular. The only reason I’m not texting away is because I mute my phone when I have practice.” I teased, putting the pen in between my teeth. “Personality next?” I asked, my voice slightly muffled.
I glanced up to see that he was holding his pen between his teeth, and being awfully open and nice towards me. "Sorry…" I muttered, before wincing again. I really had to stop apologizing to him, of all people. "Just Mari, checking in. I guess we could do a small improv another time to figure out their personalities. But I'd say she'd be…. introverted. Stubborn. Passionate, emotional, a heart-thinker." After a moment, I heaved a long sigh. "You know, you're making it really hard for me to be mean to you."
I had taken the pen out of my mouth again, listing all the traits underneath Juliet’s name. I looked up in surprise, slightly shocked. “Well I… I’m not going to antagonize you until I know for sure what went down when we were eight. I’m not gonna make you tell me either, so don’t stress about it. I’ve got a pretty good plan in the works.” I tapped the pen on the side of my head playfully. “I don’t know if you know this, but it’s also sort of hard to be mean to someone you like. I had a rose in my locker for you this morning, but you showed up late. I had a really dramatic confession planned and everything.”
God, you're pathetic, I told myself sharply, straightening my back and forcing an infuriated expression onto my face. It slipped before long; my heart wasn't in it, rendering it unconvincing. "Oh. You—Oh. Romeo, I'm going to be straightforward with you, to be honest, I'm exhausted of playing games. I don't like you." It was blunt, short and to the point. "I don't have a huge, secret crush on you. But……. I'm confused. Why on earth do you even like me in the first place? My father would kill you in a heartbeat. I should be able to shoot you in a heartbeat, and you should be able to do the same to me."
“Yeah I uh… sorta figured that out when you said you knew I liked you for days and just fucked with my heart instead.” I shrugged, refusing to let the hurt slip into my voice. Whether I liked it or not it did hurt, but I couldn’t exactly stop myself from liking her. It was far too late for that. In response to her question I shrugged first.
“Well, I guess I’ve liked you for awhile, but I didn’t actually get the epiphany until you smashed my face into a brick wall two days ago. You’re really pretty, but you’re also smart as all hell. And sometimes when you get lost in thought you chew your lip, but I guess that goes with the pretty thing. Also you don’t like… look up to me? Which sounds conceited now that I’m saying it out loud. Also you could kick my ass. People know not to mess with you.” I smiled softly, unable to fend off my dopey lovesick expression from triumphantly returning. “I always just trust my heart with these things. Rafael has my future locked up, so I just want to have something to look back on. Feel like I’m in control of my life for a little while.”
This whole conversation was messing with my head. I couldn't sit here and listen to him speak about me in that way, couldn't stand the readiness with which he was opening up. God… what am I supposed to do? This was supposed to be easy. Hate the Montagues, manipulate them in any way possible, be prepared to wound and kill. Fucking hell.
"Right," I said, forcing my tone to go flat, lose all emotion. "That's all… flattering. But for both our sakes, don't try to get friendly with me. The day is going to come when there's a gun in one of our hands and a person of the other's family opposite to us. And you know what we're going to have to do. So don't hurt yourself like this. It's not worth it."
“It’s alright, Juliet. As long as one of us has the guts to fire a shot things will work out. You’re tough. It’s one of the reasons why I like you so much.” I smiled warmly at her, something I’d been aching to do for a long time. “So you can handle stuff in class tomorrow? If it’s last period I might just make it in.” I changed the subject smoothly.
Stop, I wanted to snarl, Stop acting civil towards me. You hate me and I hate you. That's how it should be, so act like it. But I didn't voice the thought, only made sure that both my facial expression and voice remained empty and devoid of emotion. "I can handle it." I didn't bother to ask why he was skipping, picking up my pen from where it had fallen and resuming my doodling.
“Right.” I sighed, taking note of her cold behavior. I checked the time on my phone. “Hey, it’s getting close to six. You should probably get going so you stay out of trouble.” I ignored the sinking feeling in my chest, assuring myself that this was the right thing to do. I didn’t bother moving, only lifting my bag into my lap, sliding my notebook in and Macbeth out.
"Yeah….." I muttered, glancing down at the time on my phone. "I should." We hadn't gotten much work done, if anything, we'd only further complicated the situation between us, but I'd take what I could get for the day. "One thing before I go." Slipping my notebook into my bag and clipping the pen to the waistline of my jeans, I looked him in the eyes again, not permitting myself the luxury of hesitation. "No telling Mercutio about this interaction. Alright? I did not soften towards you in the slightest, nor did I act in any way other than usual, as far as he should know."
I couldn’t stop the grin from stretching across my face. She softened towards me? Holy shit! “Y-Yeah, of course. Whatever you say. Anything.” I awkwardly coughed a few times, turning my head away to hide my red cheeks and bright smile. “Absolutely. Your secret is safe with me.” I forced my voice to go flat, but didn’t trust my facial expression enough to look back at her.
God, I hated his. Hated seeing him get his hopes up, hated watching him become happy like he was now. This whole thing was wrong, why couldn't he see that?
"And we're not friends. Whenever we meet for this project, repeats of today are not going to happen. I don't like you, and you're going to have to learn to hate me. Understood?"
“Nope.” I turned my face towards her, smirking slightly. “But I’ll try.” I assured her, messing up my hair by running my hands through it. “All I can promise is that I won’t talk to you out of class. Anything beyond that is sketchy territory.”
"I'll take what I can get," I muttered, rising to my feet and brushing off my jeans, which now had an inked drawing of several roses creeping up the outside of one leg. "And as much as I hate it, I'm going to need your number so we can communicate for the project." Unlocking my phone, I handed it to him, careful to keep our fingers from brushing. "Add yours, and I'll text you later so you'll have mine."
Hell yes! This is the best day of my life! I silently cheered, allowing the excitement to show on my face for a spilt second before I began trying to smother it. I tentatively took her phone, typing in my number. “Come up with a name for my character. If either of our parents finds out we have contact they’ll kill us. I can just put the character’s name in here instead.”
I thought carefully, admittedly surprised that he’d thought of that before I had. After a moment, I gave a small, tense shrug. “Alessandro. I’ll come up with a name for my character on my way home.” That was a flat-out lie, I already knew what she was going to be named…. but I definitely wasn’t admitting it to him. “Hurry up. And no texting me for any reason other than the project.”
“I know, I know.” I mumbled, carefully typing in the name. “I’ll be good, I promise.” I teased, handing back her phone with a grin. I felt pretty damn amazing at the moment. Not telling Mercutio was going to be one hell of a challenge, but I would have to find a way. Especially if it meant there was a chance at anything like this happening again.
I slipped my phone into my back pocket and crossed my arms. “You’re supposed to hate me, remember? This isn’t going to happen again. If there’s another fight at school, and you’re in it, I will not hesitate to break your arm. So snap out of whatever fantasy you’re cutrently immersed in.” I turned to leave, praying that my message had sunk in. “Bye, Montague. See you tomorrow.”
“Bye, Juliet.” I curled up in the chair, knowing I had a couple more hours to kill before I could head home. I couldn’t even get over the events of the last hour, replaying the conversation in my head. She didn’t like me. Not yet at least. But even if I could just get her to be friendly with me. God, that would be incredible… I came so close.
I spent the next hour in the library, trying to focus on Macbeth and failing miserably. But the next thing to worry about was tomorrow. I was sort of risking my life. Low key risking it, but it was for the truth! What could go wrong?
(Lmao, famous last words, Romeo)
I got home as quickly as my feet could carry me, head still spinning from the onslaught and overload of information. Hell, that whole meeting had been one big mood swing for me, and I needed to learn how to keep it together.
But the first thing I was met with when I climbed into the house through my bedroom window was the absolutely terrifying, utterly heart-stopping sight of my father, sitting on my bed. Fuck. Oh god. Panic welled up inside me, and I withdrew from the window, but he had already turned around. “Julieta?” he growled, calling me by my full first name, “Explain yourself. Now.”
(oh shit poor Juliet!)
I made my way home in a daze, still grinning at Juilet’s words. I had a shot. A weak and terrible shot, but it was still there. I made my way into the bakery, which was preparing to close for the day, enjoying the smell wafting in from the kitchen. I slunk into the back room and up two flights of stairs until I got to my room, flopping down on the bed. If I didn’t plan this very carefully, I could be killed, but if I could figure this whole thing out then maybe I could fix this whole blood feud nonsense for good.
