forum Next Steps [Private RP — Closed]

Started January 16, 2019 by @Imperfect_Autumn group

tune

"Mm…. I dunno…." I grabbed hold of both his hands and led him away from the painting. "Let's play a game. Or let's ask each other questions."

Gray’s POV:

“Sounds fun!” I grinned. “But really, I think we should get the hot cocoa first.”

"Let's do both then. Multitask," I hummed, bending to retrieve the mugs I'd left on the ground and handing one to him. "It's homemade. Lillian's got this guru organic stuff—and the marshmallows are vegan, though you can't really tell. She's really into health and animal rights and all that stuff."

Gray’s POV:

I took the mug from her hands, taking a small sip.

“That’s actually pretty cool,” I replied, amazed. “I do agree with her, to some extent, but in my opinion, I don’t think we can entirely live off of a vegetarian diet.”

I gave a loose shrug. "I guess I'm neutral. I mean–I don't think that the vegan and vegetarian diets are for everyone, sure, some people can definitely be healthy with those lifestyles, but others depend more on dairy, eggs, and meat. Plus allergies and stuff. I dunno, I guess I just think it should be a choice."

Gray’s POV:

I nodded in understanding.

“People should be able to make that choice,” I nodded. “Anyway, you ask me a question.”

I ran my tongue along my lower lip—because it was dry, obviously, definitely not because I enjoyed every given opportunity to tease Gray—and tapped my fingers against the rim of my mug in thought. "Alright… If you were going to die in twenty four hours, what would be the first three things you'd do?"

Gray’s POV:

My eyes followed the moment of her lips hungrily. She was doing that on purpose, trying to tease me, and it was working.

“Well, firstly I’d make sure Aria’s future is secured,” I murmured, locking eyes with her. “Secondly, I’ll eat all the goddamn desserts Amanda makes. And finally…” I ran my tongue over the bottom lip. “The woman that’s currently in front of me… I will kiss her breathless until the only thing she can remember is my name.”

And all of a sudden, I felt weak at the knees. I sat down on my bed before I could do something unfathomable stupid—such as swooning— and swallowed. "I—I'm on your list of top three things?"

(Sorry, I went to eat!)

Gray’s POV:

My eyes darkened.

“Of course,” the words rolled out of my tongue smoothly. “Why wouldn’t you be? I saved the most pleasurable for last, you know.”

(np!)

Oh, god.
This? This was how he made me go absolutely weak with need and desire. The hungry look in his eyes….. it showed exactly how much he desired me.
"I—Oh—I'm—"

Gray’s POV:

When she stammered, all cute and flustered, I wanted nothing more than to kiss her senseless. I knew where my boundaries, though, and as much as my need and hunger for her burned, I couldn’t let it out.

“What about you?” My voice was breathy, my eyes soaking her in. The slight tremble of her hands and legs, her flushed cheeks, the dazed look in her eyes… I didn’t know how I was sitting here without making a move, but I applauded myself. It was tough work.

I very nearly squirmed, pinned beneath his hot, ravenous gaze. His eyes burned into my skin like hot coals, rippling with such desire that I forgot how to breathe for several seconds.

"I—" It took me a moment to piece together a response that wasn't just flustered gibberish. "I—I would say goodbye to my loved ones…. especially my little sister. And–Um, then I'd submit all the art I could find to some sort of competition or gallery or something so that I could last, even for a little while. Or just paint until my hands bled." Meeting his eyes was a struggle that I barely won without crumbling into dust. "Then—Well. If I was going to die…. truth be told, I'd probably try something new, relationship wise…. taking it to the next step. I'm young—Might as well, um live a little before I die."

Gray's POV:

It was cliche for me to say this, but I wish time would stop. I wish we could sit like this, talk, forever, but time kept on ticking, slipping away like fish in water.

"I'd make sure you live," I found myself saying, but I couldn't hear the words coming out of my mouth. "If an artist like you gets out in the world… it's impossible to not gain recognition." I swallowed thickly, her words ringing in my ears. "Just because you're going to die doesn't mean you should throw yourself in things you aren't ready for. You can live your life even if you don't take that next step."

I paused, leaning back on my seat, never taking my eyes off of her. My eyes flashed to her neck before it traveled her lips and finally back to her eyes.

"Next question?"

"I understand what you mean…. but I figure that I might as well take risks if I'm going to die anyways. Thank you, though." My eyes followed the bob of his Adam's apple as he spoke. "Right. Um. Wait—Isn't it your turn?" It surprised me, the intensity with which my lips throbbed, begging for him to take them in his. But I held back, folding my hands neatly in my lap.

Gray's POV:

Don't look at me like that…

"What… would be the five words you would use to describe yourself?" I asked, running a hand through my hair, growing restless just sitting here and doing nothing to ease myself.

Swallowing thickly, I somehow managed to tear my eyes away from him entirely. “Uhh…. over-achiever. Imaginative. Overthinker. Clingy…?”

Gray's POV:

She looked away. Somehow, even that didn't seem to satisfy me, however now that I didn't have her stare on me, my hunger could be controlled. Somewhat.

"Clingy," I repeated. "You don't look like it. You haven't acted clingy."

I gave a shrug. “Fine. I dunno, how would you describe me?”

Gray’s POV:

“Beautiful, loyal, kind, tender… fiery,” I said, trying to meet her eyes. “Gentle, hard-working, passionate and many other words.”

My heart thawed almost instantly, as if held over the fire that seemed to be constantly burning in his eyes. Eyes flickering shyly up to meet his, I managed to smile without completely dissolving. "That—That means a lot, thank you. If I had to describe you… God, there's too much to summarize. Caring, sweet, an absolute miracle…. devastatingly handsome, worthy, ingenious… The list goes on."

Gray’s POV:

I finally looked away from her eyes, hiding my face in my hand, biting my lower lip.

“Don’t look at me like that,” I managed to say, my heart hammering wildly in my chest. “Do you know how hard it is to keep myself in control?”

My eyes widened into two bear-brown saucers, stuck fast to Gray, who for the first time appeared to be flustered in front of me. Where had all his smooth, flirtatious comments gone?

Heart pounding with wild abandon, I barely managed to piece together a response. "Control………. Control of what?"

Gray’s POV:

I refused to look at her, my body getting hotter. My blood turned to molten lava, slushing wildly in my veins.

“Of myself,” I hissed out through gritted teeth.

I drew my knees up to my chest, barely able to function through the sludge packing my brain until there was nearly no room to think.

"Do you—Should I go out, for a few minutes?" I swallowed, my mouth unfathomably dry. "Just to the washroom? So we don't—you know."

Gray’s POV:

I stood up immediately, setting my mug aside.

“I should leave,” I heard myself saying. “Cool myself off. I respect you too much to do something like this.”

How was Sterling able to do this? Hold himself off, not lose control? Because I could just look at Violeta and all self-control would just fling itself out the window.

I’d never had a problem control myself before, but Violeta was intoxicating. I needed to leave before she truly becomes a drug in this moment.

Conflict ripped across my features. On one hand, I understood and was immensely touched and relieved by what he was trying to do, how much he was caring for my consent and well-being—after all, we'd only been dating for a few days now—but on the other… I didn't want him to leave. I wished that this whole… thing… wasn't an issue between us, wasn't a cause of tension. I wished we could just forget about the next steps for a little while, get into the groove of this new relationship…

"I—Gray, I can't express how touched I am that you're–that you're being this careful. Thank you. Just—Do what you feel you need to do in order to…. yeah. I'm sorry I'm holding you back….. but we only started dating days ago, I'm still new to all this. I'm sorry."

Gray’s POV:

I immediately shot my gaze towards her.

“No, don’t apologize,” I narrowed my eyes. “You’re not holding me back. I’m willing to wait for you even if it takes a thousand years. Don’t pressure yourself and don’t ever force yourself. Tell me when you’re truly ready, not when you’re trying to make it okay for me.”

I nodded, my eyes falling back down to my bedspread. Gray….. he was truly amazing. How I had ever managed to land him was a mystery.

But a part of me wished we didn't have to be discussing this so early in our relationship. I felt as if… maybe 'I love you' should come before that step, but it was too early for that too….

"Alright—Thank you."

Gray’s POV:

I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down. I could do this. If I tried, I could do this.

“When is… when is your birthday?” I questioned her, trying to deter the conversation to the cooler side.