"Listen, I've been told not to get into fights over guys, but if she lays a hand on him, I will not hesitate to strangle her with my bare hands."

me about senpai

"Can we all just agree Celeste is a B-I-C-H-T– Wait."

i'm safely assuming this is from the Selection series

"Look, can we stop talking about the field trip for one second! You went to sea world! The place we all go to every weekend!"

"Yeet sneet, I want road scholar closet water!"

Not a quote, but some guy in my calculus class drank a whole half-gallon of chocolate milk during class last week…

I know this a normally cheery chat but can I get some extra funny stories to cheer me up please? My granddad recently passed and I need to cheer up a bit

"Can we all just agree Celeste is a B-I-C-H-T– Wait."

i'm safely assuming this is from the Selection series

oof

I know this a normally cheery chat but can I get some extra funny stories to cheer me up please? My granddad recently passed and I need to cheer up a bit

OF COURSE

Okay so one time this guy came up to me and put his arm around me and said "Hey" in like the flirtiest voice ever and then I said "Hi I'm a lesbian(which, btw, I'm bi, but I wanted him to shoo)" and he was like "Oh shit I thought you were a guy I'm so sorry!" and ran off to class and you just hear his friends dying and oh yeah like two days later this same kid yelled "BRENDON URIE MAKES ME NUT" in the hall it was amazing

lmao

lmao

it's true
@ember-chan @lemondad @alto1522 and @"Karsta owo" were there

@TheMezzoSystem that's pretty funny 😊

@TheMezzoSystem that's pretty funny 😊

I'm glad you like it!

please tell us the worst that has happened

there were many things, and I really don't know what was worse, so I'll give you two:
Our first year we had an intruder on campus drill and my class was in the band room. This being a new school for most of us, we had no idea what we were supposed to do, since most hand't been in a band room during this kind of drill. So, naturally, we just kind of stood there, some kids got under chairs and some tables, trying to hide and whatnot, but then the band teacher came out of the office and noticed that the vast majority of students were just standing around like a bunch of useless paperclips. He litterally smacked the whiteboard and yelled "What do you think you're doing? Do you want to get shot? Hide! Act like you've done this before!" And everyone started to find places to hide in the class. And trust me when I tell you that if you give a bunch of freshmen students a huge bandroom with dozens of cabinets and crawl spaces that will make themselves g o n e. Within a matter of minutes, our entire class had hidden themselves in the trombone cabinets, the stand carts, the low woodwind cubbies, and in every possible dark corner that may or may not be portals to dark dimensions. There were two juniors in our class at that time who both played the trombone, and instead of hiding they both stood on either side of the band door holding their instruments. A kid who played the flute and was hiding inside of the percussion cart asked them why they weren't hiding and one of them just looked her dead in the eye and said "Since neither of us have any regard for our lives, if the intruder comes in her we have been instructed to beat them to a pulp with our instruments." And like half of the class started to laugh, but the girl in the percussion cabinet just kinda looked at them concerned before proceeding to lock herself in the cart.

Then there was the time that a rat got itself stuck in a sophmore's sousaphone. This kid must have eaten before class a lot or something, because the only reason a rat would have the mindset to go into a shiny metal tube would be for food. The rat, after failing to escape, died of suffocation. The problem was nobody even knew about it until the homecoming football game. We were in the stands playing "Eye Of The Tiger" before the football team came out, and we were doing a suspiciously good job. In the tuba/sousaphone section there is a part of the song where they like to play the notes at fffffffffffffffffffffffff, which is fine with everyone else because we like to get the crowd hyped. We were almost to that point in the song, and everyone was getting progressively louder to try and compete with the tuba/sousaphone's volume, and the crowd was going n u t s (football is really big where I live, so for a band to get a crowd this hyped was as essential as writing your name on a test). The conductor raised his arms to signify the beyond blastissimo part that was bout to come, and everyone hit the notes with all their force. Then you just hear this sound like a cork being popped out of a bottle above the rest of the band and some people stopped playing and then you heard screaming because this sophomore literally BLASTED the dead rat out of his sousaphone and the rat flew onto the football field and the cheerleaders started screaming and the sousaphone player started screaming and basically everyone was screaming.

This was posted by @CharBar back in January, thought I'd bump it because everyone needs to hear these

…I was today years old when I learned that t-shirts are called t-shirts because they're shaped like the letter T

and one of them just looked her dead in the eye and said "Since neither of us have any regard for our lives, if the intruder comes in her we have been instructed to beat them to a pulp with our instruments."

Well hello there, my constant mood.

Not a quote, but some guy in my calculus class drank a whole half-gallon of chocolate milk during class last week…

Once my class was having a Christmas party with a fun potluck, and one kid brought in a tub of Nesquick (???spelling, who's that??) and NO MILK!

Girl: Talking about how she dislocated her finger
Girl: Shows guy her dislocated finger
Guy, very quietly: _{Put it back…}

Okay, so I am always super tired during theatre practice and we had one till… 10 pm I think! So I brought Zip-Fiz! A energy drink thing! I had like 5 tubes of it, I drank 4 and I think I snorted one… I don't remeber!

Okay, so I am always super tired during theatre practice and we had one till… 10 pm I think! So I brought Zip-Fiz! A energy drink thing! I had like 5 tubes of it, I drank 4 and I think I snorted one… I don't remeber!

What show are you in??
I'm in Into The Woods!

Okay, so I am always super tired during theatre practice and we had one till… 10 pm I think! So I brought Zip-Fiz! A energy drink thing! I had like 5 tubes of it, I drank 4 and I think I snorted one… I don't remeber!

What show are you in??
I'm in Into The Woods!

I'm in Addams Family!

Okay, so I am always super tired during theatre practice and we had one till… 10 pm I think! So I brought Zip-Fiz! A energy drink thing! I had like 5 tubes of it, I drank 4 and I think I snorted one… I don't remeber!

What show are you in??
I'm in Into The Woods!

I'm in Addams Family!

Niiiice! That's such a funny show!!

I know this a normally cheery chat but can I get some extra funny stories to cheer me up please? My granddad recently passed and I need to cheer up a bit

This one time a kid chugged a huge gallon carton of green tea in Biology because some one said he couldn't.

"What's the plural of geese? Is it geeses?"

My friends call me grandma.

The reason is because I hate breaking bulls when I have soare change so what I do is find all my nickels, dimes, loonies, and toonies. If I have enough for whatever I'm buying I use that, if I dont, I become sad and break a bill
Lol

Okay, so I am always super tired during theatre practice and we had one till… 10 pm I think! So I brought Zip-Fiz! A energy drink thing! I had like 5 tubes of it, I drank 4 and I think I snorted one… I don't remeber!

wait till tech week
i had a rehearsal once until 1 in the fing morning we still have two more weekends of performances left its a four weekend run

Okay, so I am always super tired during theatre practice and we had one till… 10 pm I think! So I brought Zip-Fiz! A energy drink thing! I had like 5 tubes of it, I drank 4 and I think I snorted one… I don't remeber!

wait till tech week
i had a rehearsal once until 1 in the fing morning we still have two more weekends of performances left its a four weekend run

It’s hell tech week at my school too! I’m running solely on coffee at this point.

Okay, so I am always super tired during theatre practice and we had one till… 10 pm I think! So I brought Zip-Fiz! A energy drink thing! I had like 5 tubes of it, I drank 4 and I think I snorted one… I don't remeber!

wait till tech week
i had a rehearsal once until 1 in the fing morning we still have two more weekends of performances left its a four weekend run

It’s hell tech week at my school too! I’m running solely on coffee at this point.

mood i ran on coffee through the devil's tech sunday

"That's not straight hun,"
"I'm not straight."

okay you know when ur in the hallway and almost run into each other, but stop and try to step around them, but they step the same way as you and that goes for like five minutes and is probably the most awkward thing ever?
that happened
with my crush
who i've talked to like twice

i almost tripped and crashed into him

okay you know when ur in the hallway and almost run into each other, but stop and try to step around them, but they step the same way as you and that goes for like five minutes and is probably the most awkward thing ever?
that happened
with my crush
who i've talked to like twice

i almost tripped and crashed into him

OH MY GOD I WISH I WAS THERE DAMNIT IM SICK

YOU ALMOST CRASHED IN TO THEO????