forum funking,,,,,,,,JEANUBIS
Started by @AloeVera groupMentallyImInACottage
tune

people_alt 68 followers

@AloeVera groupMentallyImInACottage

Also here's a fun AU that i call
"Why Did I Write This"
enjoy!!!!!
also i ended it early bc i have homework and can't focus knowing it's unfinished

My eyelids flutter open, vision still blurry from waking up, as I stretch my arms. Something's not right, and I notice it immediately. I shot up in the bed; the bed that isn't mine, as I take in my surroundings.
This isn't my room…worse yet…this is Jean's room. The realization kicks in as I look to the other side of the bed, only to find an empty space. Thank God he's not there, but where would he be? Why did I wake up in Jean's bed? I trace my thoughts to remember as much of last night as I could, even if I might not like what I remember, but nothing of notice came up; in fact, I even remember driving back to the apartment and getting ready for bed. So what could have happened?
I scramble out of bed and groggily, but panicked as I rush out of Jean's bedroom. As I enter the main room, Prince raises a confused head at my heavy breathing.
"Prince, do you know what happened?"
Prince says nothing, but instead gazes at me silently. Weird, he usually meows at me. I start opening drawers in the kitchen, desperately looking for a lighter when I notice something else; my…arms?
They're a lot darker in shade than usual, is that just the lighting? My eyes catch a glimpse of a lighter and I grab it, immediately distracted by the fire as I inhale deeply, exhaling the stress of this morning's confusion. Maybe if I wake up some more and when Jean arrives, everything will be explained. I decide to start the coffee maker as I go to my room to change clothes. I catch a glimpse of myself in my mirror, and-
What the FUCK?!

I fall backwards onto the floor, unable to process what I'm looking at.
The man in the mirror is…Jean, but…that could only mean…
My-Jean's phone starts ringing as soon as I start connecting the dots. It's…my phone. I answer, my voice a panic, but even more so when I hear it's Jean's voice that came out of my mouth.
"Jean?" Strange to hear Jean's voice say his name.
"What the fuck is going on?"
Is that what I sound like?
"I don't know, but I don't like it."
"I'm on my way home right now. Don't do anything." I hear myself-or Jean, this is so confusing- snap into the phone before hanging up.
Utterly confused, I stand up, going to my dresser and grabbing my red shirt and throwing on some pants. I grab Jean's phone and stuff it into my pocket, catching Jean in the mirror again. Nope, I still haven't gotten used to it. Especially with his hair being down. Should I put it up? Nah, I'll let Jean's hair relax. As I sighed at myself-or Jean-I noticed how hoarse his breathing was. How had I not noticed that before? I suppose it's reasonable with how much he smokes.
I enter the kitchen to see the coffee was finished, so I poured myself a cup, adding some hot water along with it. Thankfully Jean didn't get drunk last night, or else I'd have a wild hangover right now. As I take a sip, I hear the door open and in stumbled, well, me. He looked angry. Do I usually look that angry, or is that just…Jean?
"What the fuck are you doing?" He snaps, glaring at me. He wasn't wearing a shirt.
"Wh-what are yo-"
"What are you drinking?"
I look at my cup, furrowing my brow.
"Americano?"
Jean-me snatched the cup out of my hands and poured it down the sink, dropping the cup loudly into the sink and turning around to me.
"I said don't do anything."
"The hell is a cup of coffee gonna do to you? You do enough to destroy your body anyway."
Is that really what I look like? It's weird looking at myself from someone else's point of view. I wonder if it's the same for Jean.
"It's not about that. I hate Americanos."
I give him, myself, a judgmental look. That's what he's concerned about right now?
"I think that's the least of your concerns right now."
I hear a meow behind me, to which I turn around to see Prince looking at Jean…or me. Jean paused, his-my-face filled with wonder.
"He…Prince meowed at me." He uttered with amazement.
"Only because you look like me." I add, earning a kick from Jean.
"Anubis," I hear my voice ask me.
"What?"
"What are you wearing?"

@AloeVera groupMentallyImInACottage

LMAAAOOOO ANUBIS REALLY WOULD BE SO SNARKY ABOUT IT WHILE JEAN'S LIKE "what the fuuuck. what the fuclk. wuhata the fukcl"

@icecubes

all because i had the most simple idea then i reversed the idea and then aloe fucking stabbed me and i have to describe the wound

@AloeVera groupMentallyImInACottage

Hey This Is Jean's First Contracted Kill (Sort of) and it's Canon!!!!!1

I usually take one specific route home, finding my place in the crowd and hanging my head low as I make my way through, but today I was in a bad mood. I knew of an alternative route that had no cameras, no people, it was practically empty, but it was an extra twenty minutes of a walk. I suppose I should start taking the longer route now, though, since I'm working out anyway.
As I turn the corner, I notice two people on the sidewalk. Not that I would have minded; but I caught a glimpse of their conversation.
"God, you're such a bitch, you know that?"
"Like I care."
As I pass them, I glance at the girl's face. Her eyes held such a specific type of pain; something I almost recognized, but shrugged it off.
"So, what? You just changed your mind? You can't do that."
"I can do whatever I want."
I pause my stride, only a few steps in front of them, as I almost predict the guy's next moves.
"Fine, then I can do whatever I want."
"Get away from me!"
I turn around and grab the guy's shoulder, holding him from getting closer to the girl. Her dark blue eyes seemed to relax at me stepping in, but something about her was off. I glare at the man, his features sort of bland; dark messy hair, some old t-shirt, and the painfully familiar smell of beer. He barely reached my height, but we stood eye level.
"Hey, man, she's not interested."
His eyes were rabid, full of anger and only seeking one thing.
"This is none of your damn business."
"Neither is her consent, just get lost."
I could almost see his fist curl up as he drew his arm back, punching me square in the face. I stumble back a few steps, but something inside me boiled over. I mirrored his rage, grabbing his collar and delivering several punches to his face. He tried pushing me off, but I merely threw him to the ground, kicking his stomach before bending over to sock him several more times in the face. Half of the fight I didn't even remember; my stomach twisted itself into knots and all I could see was red. I was on top of him, punching him over, and over, and over, until I blinked my eyes; he was dead.
The girl, her smooth eyes, oddly enough, held no fear in them. Mine, however, widened in shock.
I've never killed someone before.
"I…didn't mean to kill him."
I utter, my hands covered in more than just blood. The girl's stare at me holds no emotion, and I wonder if she plans to call the police.
"I…I don't want to go to jail."
The girl's blue and black hair dances in the wind as she turns to her purse, pulling out a handful of cash; more cash than your average person would have in their purse.
"I wanted him dead anyway."
She utters, handing me the cash. I shake my head immediately and hold my dripping hands up defensively.
"I can't take that."
She shrugs her shoulders, rolling her eyes.
"Then wipe your hands and take it," She chimes, reaching the cash closer to me. "Then it won't be blood money."
Her last comment almost made her giggle as she grows impatient, her smile dropping.
"If you don't take the money I'll report you to the police."
I can't get caught, I've never been to jail. I've never killed a man; I guess that should be my biggest concern. Why am I not concerned about him? Yeah, he was a bastard, but he's a human being. I guess I couldn't feel for my family, so why should I feel for some shit head?
"Fine, I'll take it. Why won't you call the cops?"
She shoots me a toothy grin, her eyes flickering with a dark, demented energy that instilled a strange fear of her in me.
"We all have our secrets. Let's just say you and I are partners in crime."
She turns her nose up at the body, furrowing her brow.
"You might have to do something about…that, though."
She points to the bloodied body as she turns from me to walk away.