His interest caught her off guard– and so did his question. Shit. I can't exactly tell him the truth… "For poetry.. I dunno, anything with a – a darker feel– I guess. Emotional things. And with writing.. fiction, mostly." The last part was the third-biggest lie she'd told this evening, the first being 'I'm okay', and the second being about her family. "I'm writing.. a story."
Lucian nodded his head in understanding. “That’s really nice. I’ve never been the best writer, but I still find it really interesting.”
"Thanks," she answered nervously, immensely relieved that he hadn't asked what the story was about.
Lucian gave a hum and a smile. “You’re welcome,” he responded.
(aah sorry I don't really know what to do.. I'm about as bad at small talk as Morrigan xD)
(Its all good. We can skip to the end of dinner?)
(sure, sorry
Maybe one of them gets a distressing phone call, or Lucian tries to make a move?)
(Yeah, the second thing could work. I’m just going to skip to the end of the date to make it a bit easier)
Dinner was over after a while. Lucian had paid the bill and walked outside with Morrigan. “I had a really good time tonight,” he said, stopping to look at her.
(Alright)
(G’morning)
Morrigan’s stomach clenched at his words, but she forced herself to look at him and smile. Nodding in agreement, she tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “I did too.”
(Morning)
Lucian felt a bit of relief at that. “Great to hear. Maybe we could go out sometime?” He asked.
(How’re you?)
Morrigan suddenly regretted how much food she’d eaten that night, within minutes she was sure it would all end up on the sidewalk. “Yeah,” she forced out, still smiling. “Sure.”
(Im good, hbu)
“Good. I can text you later about it,” Lucian hummed with a warm smile. “I’ll see you later?”
(sick but I get to miss school, so pretty good)
"Y-Yeah, see you later," she promised, unable to shake the feeling that she was sealing her fate with those four, simple words.
(Oh yeah lol)
Lucian arched a brow at the shudder in her voice but decided not to ask. Morrigan would say she was fine- he knew that for sure. He smiled, head dipping down slightly top give her cheek a quick peck before stepping back.
(lol)
(just to check, are you okay with her completely freaking out?)
(Yeah)
(thanks, sorry, I didn't want to do anything without asking)
Morrigan froze, eyes snapping open the moment that his lips made contact with her cheek. For a split second, the whole world shifted, and suddenly, she was back in her old bedroom, a man's breath tickling her ear. No. She took a stumbling step away from Lucian, heart stopping.
(Yeah np)
Lucian seemed confused at Morrigan’s reaction. “I’m sorry- I should have asked first,”he said quickly.
Morrigan barely heard his words, eyes fixed to the ground as her breaths quickened; it was clear that something was wrong, very wrong. Itès just a kiss!
Lucian took a step towards, Morrigan, becoming concerned. “Are you okay?” He asked.
"Y-Yeah–" she stammered, hands shaking as she pushed her hair out of her face. "I– I'm sorry. I have to- I have to go–"
“It’s okay, it’s okay. Let me drive you home, you look like you’re going to pass out,” Lucian said slowly.
"N-No–" she choked out, shaking her head. "It's fine– I'm sorry–I forgot, to take my anxiety meds this morning- I think I'll just rest at home."
Lucian nodded his head slowly. “Alright, I understand. Are you sure you can make it alone?”
"Yeah–" Morrigan suddenly realized how incredibly ridiculous she must look to him, and shame burned its way across her face. "I'm so sorry. About- All of this-"
“Oh, it’s okay, please don’t apologize,” Lucian said quickly and softly. “I understand, I know how it feels.”
Morrigan nodded weakly, but every time he spoke, his voice was just like her father's– she couldn't take it anymore. "I have to go- I'm sorry." She turned, and was gone.
Lucian watched her leave, not saying anything. He gave a sharp sigh, rubbing at his face while he walked to his car. Stupid. This isn’t like with Summer. I can’t just do those things, he scolded himself mentally.
Morrigan pulled the door of her apartment shut behind her, slamming her back against the wall and sinking down to the floor. I'm so stupid, she thought miserably, putting her head into her shaking hands. It had just been so painfully familiar– Lucian was even the right height to be her father– and she'd flipped. The anxious girl he'd seen at the lunch place earlier that day, the one who could barely keep it together in a crowd? Even that had been a mask, the strongest façade she'd been able to muster. Deep down, she couldn't bare being touched. Touch meant pain, in her experience, and her inner self had just… crumbled, feeling the brush of Lucian's mouth across her cheek.
And now she'd just made everything worse. If he was anything like Aaron, he would be angry now. He would punish her. If he wasn't– then she'd just hurt the one man who'd been kind enough to try and get to know her.
But the voice in her head, the one chastising her, calling her weak? It wasn't her own anymore. Aaron. No. Morrigan gritted her teeth, fumbling for her phone. Lucian had given her his number, the least she could do was try and apologize.
Hey, it's Morrigan, in case you didn't save my number, she typed. I just wanted to say that I'm really sorry.
There. It was sent. But it still wasn't enough.
I messed, a lot, I hope I can make it up to you. I just have– Here, she stopped typing, bit her lip, backspaced. I've got bad memories associated with touch like that. It was an incredibly sweet gesture, I'm sorry I couldn't take it.
It was too honest, revealed too much, but she had to send it. If she didn't, who knew what he would do to her?
Love, Morrigan.
Lucian went back to his apartment, crumbling on his bed after changing. He had turned his head, looking over at the nightstand. On it was a photo of a slender woman, smiling for the camera with bright white teeth. She had tanned skin and wild brown hair, but what stood out most were her bright, blue eyes. He stared at it for a moment longer- stared at the woman. He reached out after his heart ached and flipped it down so the photo couldn’t be seen.
He rolled over when he heard his phone ding. He picked it up and read over the messages. He had saved Morrigan’s contact already. That’s okay, I understand. I do too sometimes. I should have asked you first- it was my fault for pulling that on a first date. I’d still be up to seeing you again, if that’s alright with you, he sent back before resting his hands over his face. Morrigan had been the first girl he’s felt something for since Summer’s death- he needed this to work.