Something changed.
I did not always want to murder. Sure, I was quite antisocial and often anxious most of my life - hell even angry - but never that furious. I'm uncertain what exactly happened, but sure enough, a switch was flipped in my brain. A big one. I know it started that night. The alcohol boiling in my veins, bringing heat to my face. Every muscle twitching, every emotion in me amplified so vastly, that life felt insignificant. Save him, that is all, and then destroy the cause. Destroy every cause. Destroy mankind.
But why? Why was that night the switch? And how do I flip it back?
Jean was already gone before I could reply. Not that I could, I wasn't even sure of what he said. A shiver scattered across my spine and I felt dizzy. I jumped to the kitchen to get some water. Soon after, I followed Jean outside.
"Jean. I think I have to tell you something."
Jean: what
Anubis: ur gay
It took me a few flicks to get the lighter on long enough to light the cigarette, but I finally managed to inhale the fumes. Anubis really uses those things up sometimes. I've noticed that sometimes he barely uses the lighters, but then on especially stressful weeks, he goes through them quickly. I wonder if I have a tell for when I'm stressed, and I wonder if Anubis knows what it is. I wouldn't want to ask, but I might try to notice if he reacts. As I watched the sunset, Anubis opened the door and approached me.
"Jean, I think I have to tell you something."
I look at him for a second, studying his face to see if I can guess what the next few moments will hold.
"What?"
I tried to begin my sentence, but a rushing sensation of pure nausea overwhelmed my body. A shiver entered my body again. Just force it out anyways.
"Remember that ni-" I inhaled painfully. "They were going to rape you!"
The words tumbled out of my mouth insensitively, and confusingly. But with every word, came more excruciating pain and nausea. But when I stopped talking, it all ended. I leaned on the door frame, breathing hard.
I furrowed my brow, highly confused. I couldn't tell if he was acting or genuine. It's always hard to tell with Anubis.
"What are you talking about? What night?" I turn back away from him, mostly out of inability to make eye contact as I take another hit from the cigarette.
"If you're just fucking with me, that's not funny."
I know I have a lot of drunken nights that are lost, but it's been too long, and I don't recall many that involved Anubis, or a they. How long has he been holding this in, if he's telling the truth?
I couldn't finish. I didn't know why. I didn't fucking know why.
Jean stared after me as I stumbled back into the apartment, shadows crowding my vision. I got ready for bed automatically, like a robot being told what to do.
I threw myself up in bed for some reason. The nightmare was long gone before I processed having one. He was awake. The clock on my phone light read 2:47 AM. "Do you ever sleep?" I decided to wake up to search for jobs, since sleeping wasn't an option for now.
His words didn't surprise me. I heard him stir as he woke up behind me. I'd been looking for a job on the computer for the past half hour.
"Only when I want to." I uttered as I lean away from the computer and turn to him.
"Plus, you think I'm gonna sleep after that shit you pulled?"
I cross my arms as I watch him get out of bed, his hair scruffy and eyes still puffy from waking up. I'd gotten to wracking my brain to find the reason he would say something like that to me, and so seriously too.
And then it had hit me. Luckily I went through the pain of realization before Anubis woke up.
"It was Rose, wasn't it?"
Jean's comments came through, but the reminder of Rose struck me physically again. I scrunched up my face and fell back down on the old bed. I resorted to nodding my head. His eyes bore through me, but all I could return was a tired, unaffected stare.
I need help.
I bring myself back to that night. Well, more to the morning after. I don't remember the night very well. I do, however, remember yelling at Anubis. For getting into a fight. With Rose. I open my mouth to say something to Anubis, but nothing comes out. After a second, I close my mouth again, frustrated with myself. I eye the pack of cigarettes on the table as I turn back to the computer.
"If you're gonna sleep, then start now. I'm gonna keep looking for a job."
To my relief, he did not probe me further. I take a breath in to refresh my muscles and organs. Without a word, I pulled up a chair next to Jean. The screen blinded my tired eyes with its bright artificial lights. Small letters and shitty graphic design filled the screen, and in the next tab, a long list of emails requesting all sorts of jobs; mostly hitman calls, but plenty of breaking in and robbery, or drug distribution. I spotted a peculiar one. "That one needs to find a kidnapped kid. We can't get arrested for that, right?"
I lean back in my chair and cross my arms, shrugging. I've realized Anubis and I are awful at addressing the elephant in the room, especially with earlier with the anniversary, but the tension in the room was so thick you could suffocate in it. Either way, I ignored it for now and merely responded,
"I guess not, but I'm not participating in any babysitting. We'd better have a place to drop off the kid."
"Well, gee, why the fuck would they want their kidnapped kid in the hands of a dark web bitch for longer than an hour. Clearly, this is their last result and they want their kid back as soon as possible. Click on it."
Jean moved his mouse over the hyperlink. His eyes scanned over the words, but I ended up spacing out. Thoughts overwhelmed my brain, but I couldn't sort through any of them. The job, Olli…
"Kid's about nine years old, dark hair…" I scan the details of the job request as I squint my eyes. They stung in pain. "They've got an idea of who might have taken him, but don't know where they're hiding."
I turn my head to Anubis as I notice he didn't take in anything I was saying.
"Are you going to be able to focus or should we just skip it tonight?"
"No, no, I'll be okay. This'll help me feel better." I turned the laptop towards me and took in each word carefully.
From what we gathered from the request, the father had refused to give a mob boss a certain sum of cash. Likely, the mob boss was positioned near the city of wherever the fuck we are rn i forgot im so sorry. The child had been missing for only a couple days, but that meant the risks were high. Whether the kid is dead, or they erased any trace of him, we couldn't be sure. The language of the request was unbelievably vague, but Jean and I managed. It was a bit of a relief to have another brain because often Jean's head worked in different ways. Sometimes he noticed details or thought of situations that I would never brush my finger over.
I raise an eyebroholy shit i switched perspectives so easily this time i usually have to fix after being used to bgm
I raise an eyebrow at Anubis as I watch him re-read the post.
"Well, you're the gravedigger. I'm sure you can find more about the kidnappers with just a name, right?"
I mutter, standing up slowly to grab a cheap beer from the mini-fridge. I hold one up for Anubis as if to offer if he wants one.
"After that we need to be subtle. I'm sure the mob boss has already seen the post. And even if he hasn't if he's smart, he'll prepare for anything."
I nod in acceptance of the beer. I move the laptop closer to me, starting my research and turning on all of my programs. First, check //insert a lotta high tech correct hacking stuff idk ill do more research later lmfaooooooo//
"I'm 70% sure this is a real calling, but nothing is certain on here. As soon as I sent the accept, they took down the request and messaged us privately. So, I analyzed all of the shit, and we're good to go. The boss should be in this area," The map I pulled up highlights a certain zone in the city next to us. "Tomorrow's what, Saturday? We can start tomorrow. It might be too late to do it tonight."
I nod at Anubis, watching him closely. After all he's pulled tonight, I'm waiting for him to slip up and mention it so I can ask him about it, but he doesn't, so I keep quiet. I blink slowly and sit back down, taking a swig of the beer, then placing it on the table and crossing my arms, returning to watching Anubis.
"Sounds good. Tomorrow it is."
time skippppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp
We went through a similar procedure as the first job, only altered with stronger weapons and a much different mindset. Many secrets have been revealed since then, emotions, events, hidden for so long. But, there were some secrets deep under the ground that neither of us could feel the dangerous tremble.
"Got everything?" I asked, eyeing Jean.
no i need my emotional support stuffed Tug the Wartortle to help reassure me that everything is gonna be ok so no anubis i DON'T got everything
"Taking a break?"
I only rolled my eyes at his remark as Rose returned to my side. Rose began talking to me about how she was excited for Summer. I knew she was trying to hint to me that she wanted me to ask her out on a date, but I didn't want to waste my time or money on her. Even if we were technically dating. Anubis left for a bit, so I had to pretend like I was interested in whatever Rose and Stephanie were talking about. At least there was alcohol.
"Hey, GG," Anubis came out of nowhere, somehow immediately at my side. Didn't he just leave? How long had he been gone? "Don't drink that."
Yeah right, don't drink that. This is a party, what do you think I'm gonna do, Anubis?
I don't remember if I said that out loud or just brushed him off, but I do remember how serious his tone was. That was the most prominent thing I remembered from that night- until today.
"Got everything?"
His voice protruded through my thoughts like a fucking bullet. I didn't want him to know just how spaced out I had been, and that his question actually almost made me flinch, so I disguise it by inhaling deeply, sniffing my nose and turning away from him as I respond.
"Yeah, let's go."
I squinted my eyes at Jean. "Then where are your keys? Nevermind. I'll drive." I strode towards the drawer that held our keys and a couple lighters. My eyes linger on them for a moment too long. After I slammed the drawer closed, Jean and I made our way out the building. On our backs were normal clothes, as to look casual as possible - red and blue shirts - but in our bags were other things to change out of. Can't be too careful.
We drove for awhile, surveying the area - looking for any buildings that might be fine. Really, I was trying so hard to get a signal from somewhere. Anything out of the blue. A song came up on the radio. I don't really listen to music, but this one made me move my head a little.
"I called because I needed to tell you something…"
She didn't even sound concerned or worried about what she was going to tell me.
"What is it?"
"Stephanie doesn't want you coming to her parties anymore. And she'd prefer it if you and Anubis stayed away from her. She's not-" Rose paused. "She just doesn't want to see you or Anubis anymore."
Her voice was so annoying, especially first thing in the morning during a hangover. Fury boiled inside of me as I stormed out of my bedroom, yelling at Anubis.
"You can fuck up your own life but for god's sake do not fuck up mine!"
I don't remember why I immediately blamed him, or why I yelled at him in the first place. It's not like I liked Rose to begin with; I guess she was the only person I knew that had parties, and now I'd have to find someone else willing to invite me to a party.
Anubis merely smiled after I yelled at him. I was so confused about why he simply smiled. Even now, why did he smile? What made him smile?
I blinked my eyes, noticing an Italian food restaurant.
"Hey, what about that?"
"That is literally so cliche, for a mob boss to be Italian. You know that right?" I tease Jean. I pull down the sun visor and opened up the mirror, fixing my hair as to not look like a psychopath. "Well all right then, love, carry on!"
We park in the lot and enter the day. I forgot what the weather was, but I'm gonna pretend I said it was nice, really nice and spring like and aaahhh aiirrr. I love air. good shit. "I hope they have good food, GG," I say, looking to Jean.
don't like how happy go lucky he sounds bc i've become unable to trust anything ever thanks to this rp
"Nothing would compare to Arjun's Kitchen." I respond, sticking my hands in my pockets as I follow Anubis. Bringing up food made me realize how hungry I was and walking in to smell the fresh bread didn't help either. I almost forgot about our job as, for a split second, I immersed myself in the atmosphere at face value.
I look around to take in the vibes of the place. A basic dark wood flooring spread under tables with neatly folded cloths on plates. The waiters and waitresses twirled around in their aprons to place steaming pastas and seafood meals in front of hungry customers. All Italian.
"Table for two?" A hostess greeted us and got out two menus.
"Yes, ma'am!" I respond with a smile as she leads us to our table. The whole way, I mark every door in my head.
I study the employees' movements and body language silently. As we sit at the table, I do a quick scan around the room, gazing at other customers sitting and eating, paying attention to each one long enough to get an idea of whether or not the conversation is suspicious. Most people are better at casual business talk than others, but I'm waiting for a slip-up.
I scan my eyes over the menu, pretending to choose a meal. Then, I set the menu down and lean back in my chair, gazing around the restaurant. There's small hints to reveal a front, if they're sloppy enough. I hoped that Jean would know as well.
"Hey, I need to take a piss. Can you ask for the drinks menu and check the wine prices for me? I know we're low on money," I said, with much emphasis on prices. If the wine was cheap, that was one of the signs. "And, see if they take card." If it was a front, they'd take cash only.
I stand up and search for the bathroom. On the way there, I noticed someone who looked rather familliar. The bathroom was hidden on the side of the restaurant, right past the kitchen doors. Before pushing open the door to the men's restroom, I noticed a fourth door. An old scratched up sign read 'Member's Only.'
