Eh, no one in my family really likes jelly filling so those were really the only ones we threw out. They got ruined on the drive anyway, but believe me when I say I questioned the logic of them bringing home something none of us liked.

"Vodka Chords" - Me 2019

"Nope, just a cheeto"

"Vodka Chords" - Me 2019

Spoiler - click to show.

Context: We were talking about what instruments we play and I misspoke while trying to say vocal chords

Ok but to me “Vodka chords” sounds like a slang term for writing country music

"Vodka Chords" - Me 2019

Spoiler - click to show.

Context: We were talking about what instruments we play and I misspoke while trying to say vocal chords

Ok but to me “Vodka chords” sounds like a slang term for writing country music

haha yes

“wHO TOOK MY SONIC 06’ FANFICITON!
NOTHINGS MORE COOL THEN BEING HUGGED BY SOMEONE YOU LIKE, BUT IF SOMEONE TRIES TO TOUCH YOU OR IN A WAY THAT MAKE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE THATS NOOOOOOOOO GOOOOOOOOOD.”

had you in my goat pocket where i keep my rebel ned? you know that's not the lyrics right?

"Leo looks like he'd try to sell you drugs and then touch you without consent."

“I created a new child last night.” -me, talking about a new OC and not fully realizing what I was saying

ooooof

"Don't bring the batteries near the soldering stations."
"Sooo who wants to solder a battery?"
This was cuz a few months ago one girl soldered a battery and blew it up and it's basically a meme now

oof

"what does my hair smell like?"
"disappointment"

crowd cheering sound effect IS THAT A COLLIE FLOWER?!

"Is that priest wearing cowboy boots, or am I just delusional?"

"Desean, you're going to go into a dill induced coma!"
(Dill, like the spice)

"NO, LISA. I DON'T WANT YOUR GREASY CAT BARF ON MY SHIRT."

“Eat your greens”
student next to me in a locker says as she takes lettuce out of her backpack

"It's not Titannia. IT'S TITANIC

upon finding out our school has PR monitors that record the class's audio
"fUcK yA cHiCkEn StRiPs"

Oh gosh, my baby sister is just…

Emma (my baby sister): Scootching around the floor on her stomach I'm a whale!
My older sister: What does a whale say?
Emma: …
Emma: …
Emma: …
Emma: screaming at the top of her lungs

WHALE

No amount of text can capture how beautiful that moment was

"What would Hamlet do??"
"Procrastinate?"
"NO!"

"this is america, we drink coffee. Not tea."

"this is america, we drink coffee. Not tea."

"This is america, We don't just spill The Tea, We dump it into the Hecking, Harbor."

"this is america, we drink coffee. Not tea."

"This is america, We don't just spill The Tea, We dump it into the Hecking, Harbor."

i have a new favorite human

"this is america, we drink coffee. Not tea."

"This is america, We don't just spill The Tea, We dump it into the Hecking, Harbor."

i have a new favorite human

Same

We have a tea club at my school… so I told them if we ever overthrow the "tea-ocracy," first step will be to yeet all the tea bags into the fountains in our school's plaza.

Oh gosh, my baby sister is just…

Emma (my baby sister): Scootching around the floor on her stomach I'm a whale!
My older sister: What does a whale say?
Emma: …
Emma: …
Emma: …
Emma: screaming at the top of her lungs

WHALE

I added her whale sounds to a clip of "Sail" and it's my proudest achievement

We have a tea club at my school… so I told them if we ever overthrow the "tea-ocracy," first step will be to yeet all the tea bags into the fountains in our school's plaza.

Sounds fun. I want in lol.

“Selling cookies? Girl Scouts is all about kidnapping!”