forum "As a person of the LGBTQA+ community, what stories do you wish you saw more of?": LGBTQA+/ SAGA advice and support forum.
Started by @Twitchy
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@kat_i_am

I'm a biromantic asexual who's only out to 3 ppl irl. I'm Christian, and while I'm mostly okay, sometimes I do have a faith struggle.

@Twitchy

Outside of this, my name is Antonia and I'm 18. I am a flexible biromantic asexual female, and I'm not religious. Here are some experiences of mine that I have already gone into a little bit, but here they are:
c) My first crush was a girl in primary school, but my second was a boy near the same time. I'm not sure what I would have done if she hadn't been in a relationship during those years, and if I wasn't so shy, but I know I focussed more on the boy during this time. I think the first time I questioned my sexuality was with the same girl, but in secondary school and I said to myself, "It is easier to be straight." because I've always wanted kids, I am terrified of confrontation, and it was 'normal'.
c) I had more girl crushes in school, but since I literally squashed those feelings, I never really noticed besides feeling like I wanted to be around them more.
c) I've never had a boyfriend or girlfriend, never kissed anybody, and I've never wanted to have a relationship until this year when I let myself figure this all out.
c) I didn't know I could be bisexual or biromantic because of how old I am. Everybody else I knew ( and people on tv and books) came out in school so I believed that people 'realised' during school, and I didn't really think anybody would not know after this time. I know I had questioned it but I didn't know.
c) People got bullied in our school. We had posters on the walls each with a different statement like "'gay' lets get the meaning straight" to 'promote anti-bullying. The school held itself high for it's lack of racisms, homophobia and bullying. I got called a lesbian a lot, and it was okay for me because it was like calling a purple person blue in my head. It wasn't who I was so it didn't matter. I got called worse. I got hit a lot. So that never mattered. I had friends who were bi, and they got bullied a lot. I didn't know and I swear if I did I would have gone crazy.
c) I cried myself to sleep after watching Shane Dawsons coming out video, because I was so happy that I wasn't alone. That you actually could still be gay or bi even if you didn't figure it out or realise during school. I felt like an idiot for that to be honest. I know I was crying so much because there was a word. But I was also crying because I felt fucked up (sorry for my language). All this time, I was screaming it's easier to be straight, but how can I love anybody when I'm literally stopping myself from doing that.
c) Every time after and around that, I felt horrible and I hated myself for liking girls, whenever I liked any women.
c) I came out to a friend online three weeks ago. She was the first person I'd told. I guess… I watched Love, Simon a few days before and that might've helped but, I was just so scared of letting myself out I guess. She was great, I did it mid-joke, and it was fine. I told her, because even typing it was hard. I thought, it'd help to tell somebody who I don't care about hating me, or wanting to get rid of me from their lives.
c) I thought about it, and after that I wanted to tell my bi friend in person at college, then my closest friend that I've known since primary who is also bi, then my family. After that, I didn't care who knew or in what order.
c) I told my friend, in person, and I cried. Not a lot, but I was shaking like mad and it was funny because at first she said, "How?" and when I started laughing like, "What?" I started shaking and she hugged me after saying, "Oh god this is really scaring you." which was just so good of her. While she was hugging me, a pansexual friend of mine said in a pretty mean tone, "What? Did she just come out as a lesbo or something?" and I laughed saying, "Bi actually." Worst mistake I've made in a long time.
c) All day, he was making horrible jokes. I took him to the side at one point and kindly said that I wasn't comfortable with these jokes 'yet' and I pointed out that only them two knew, so could he stop. He… toned it down.
c) The next day the rest of my friends, including the Bi girl (kitty), went out to Nandos with me. All of us but this guy. While eating, one of my mates went, "So Toni! I've heard that you've got something to say?" I didn't even think about it, I was just confused like, "Huh?" and then she just goes, "You know? That you're Bisexual?" And everybodies eyes shot to me. No smiles just shock and I fucking wanted to die. I instantly looked at my Bi friend and she just whispered with pure anger, "Jonathan." My other mate quickly realised what happened and, she's Bi too so she just kept saying sorry while my other two mates who are straight kept saying how it's really cool of me and that they're proud but, I just smiled and said it's okay, held my mate to calm her down cause she was fuming, and we happily kept eating. My mate kitty screamed at Jonathan when I wasn't there, and he apparently said, "Oh sorry mum!" and walked off.
c) While walking back to college, I remember hearing my two straight mates shipping me and kitty which I normally didn't mind but… God I was sad.
c) When I got home, I cried a lot and I was so angry because I didn't know why I was crying, it didn't matter. I thought my Mum was gonna be home at 8, but she was home at 6. I came out to my mum while crying, and I remember saying things that I didn't mean. I said that I was sorry, that I didn't want to be, that I was still figuring it out, that I might not be. God…
c) My mum told my older brother, but he pretended that he didn't know. Two days later, I 'told' him, knowing he knew, but still. He is the best big brother ever. He said all the right things that I needed (The whole family will love you anyway, uncle Simon might make jokes but if you have a girlfriend and somebody says something bad, he will knock them out and you know it, I won't tell his girlfriend I'll leave that for you to do etc.) and I told me that he was questioning in school, even had a boyfriend, but realised he wasn't. I told him that even though I hadn't had a relationship, I knew and he completely understood.
c) All of this happened in two weeks. I didn't know how to tell my best friend, but I wanted to do it in person. Two weeks later, we went camping, just the two of us and I think we spent most of that week asking eachother what we thought of different girls either from tv shows, movies, general media, or in school. We talked about what we thought was wrong, right and what needed to change with things relating to the community. Shit, we organised going to gay clubs to try to meet women haha. Still a little too socially awkward for that though I think.
This is a lot, but I think it'd everything I can offer for writers. I do have something somewhere that I'll add on in a sec though. Oh and also, we just bought two male guinea pigs that keep humping, and my mum literally shouted, "WHY IS EVERYTHING IN THIS HOUSE GAY!" I love my family.

@Twitchy

Link: https://www.notebook.ai/forum/characters-board/diversity-without-accidental-discrimination

Mate, you are more than welcome. You are a writer, and so you should be able to write about anything, just try to do it well.
When I read books or watch movies, I don't think I've ever taken into account the sexuality or gender, or even the race, of the person writing it. I will know their name, when reading, and if I want to know more about them after then I will, but that's after. I think who you are doesn't make it strange. J.K Rowling's MC is male. George RR Martin has multiple female MCs. If gender doesn't matter, then why should anything else?
I've come out to most of the people I know within the last few days, so I just wanted to add something if you plan to write an LGBTQA+ Character, and if coming out is something that happens in the story.
It's scary. It's super scary. Not the fight or flight type of afraid but…
Imagine if you was in a family where everybody in it was a Baker. They only cooked cakes and buns, and sweet things, and you like cooking those sweet foods, but you also like cooking savoury foods, so you want to be a chef. You think, you could just be a baker, cause you'd be cooking sweet foods anyway, but you know you like cooking savoury foods and no matter what, you will always want to and without letting yourself cook those foods you're stopping yourself from being who you are, and from cooking savoury foods, and it might effect how you cook sweet foods because you'll never know what would make you happier. You want to tell your family because you don't want them to be upset or confused if you cook a pastry, and you don't want to waste any food because they don't want it in the house, but you do, so you're afraid you'd have to leave. You love your family, and you want to show them both your savoury and your sweet foods, but you're afraid that they won't love you as much, or they'll question every food you look at, thinking what if she wants to cook that. You're afraid of change, and you're afraid of not knowing what will happen. But you want to. That's what coming out is like in the worst analogy ever haha.
Once you do it, it feels great. Especially if they are accepting because you've let them see you and they love you anyway. It gets easier the more you do it too. I told a friend that I wasn't too close to, who didn't know anyone I do now. Then I told my mates. Then I told my Mum who told my Nan. All were great.
Finally, something that sucks. Being outed. This has been the most stressful three days I've had in a while. Monday I told two mates, both bi, that I'm Bi. Now when you tell people, you prepare yourself, put up walls, ready yourself. It takes a good half an hour. Or it takes seconds like ripping off a plaster. But either way, you do it. One of my mates told another without me knowing. She randomly said it while at a meal out with two other mates who didn't know, and the one mate who didn't tell. I wanted to leave, and cry and hide because I was so happy, then so scared in seconds. I don't know what would have happened if they weren't accepting, but it was terrifying. I wasn't angry. My mate was furious, but I wasn't. I was hurt, so sad, scared and numb for most of the day. Then I got home and burst out crying. My Mum came home, and I told her because I was scared of her finding out any other way.
This is an insight to coming out and being outed, I really hope it helps with writing, and don't worry, I'm so happy now, and everything will be alright.

@kat_i_am

I've come out to most of the people I know within the last few days, so I just wanted to add something if you plan to write an LGBTQA+ Character, and if coming out is something that happens in the story.
It's scary. It's super scary. Not the fight or flight type of afraid but…
Imagine if you was in a family where everybody in it was a Baker. They only cooked cakes and buns, and sweet things, and you like cooking those sweet foods, but you also like cooking savoury foods, so you want to be a chef. You think, you could just be a baker, cause you'd be cooking sweet foods anyway, but you know you like cooking savoury foods and no matter what, you will always want to and without letting yourself cook those foods you're stopping yourself from being who you are, and from cooking savoury foods, and it might effect how you cook sweet foods because you'll never know what would make you happier. You want to tell your family because you don't want them to be upset or confused if you cook a pastry, and you don't want to waste any food because they don't want it in the house, but you do, so you're afraid you'd have to leave. You love your family, and you want to show them both your savoury and your sweet foods, but you're afraid that they won't love you as much, or they'll question every food you look at, thinking what if she wants to cook that. You're afraid of change, and you're afraid of not knowing what will happen. But you want to. That's what coming out is like in the worst analogy ever haha.

that was the best metaphor heck what are you talking about

@Twitchy

hahaha thank you, believe it or not, it's not something I like to talk about so I was pretty anxious about it and this. thank you.

Eunhye

Hi, I'm Eunhye. I identify as panromantic ace, female. I am a bit younger (I don't like putting my age) and I'm out to various people outside my family. My friend (Who is trans/genderfluid, pan ace) helped me figure out who I was as in sexuality (We helped each other). I have never really questioned my sexuality, so much to where I get anxious, and people at my school are very relaxed about the subject even though it may seem unusual or incorrect to them. I haven't been in any negative situations so far, but I am a little nervous telling my family because I don't know their opinions on LGBTQA+, I'm pretty sure they wouldn't care, but still… My religious situation is odd, considering I don't really think much of it, I consider myself christian at the moment though I believe I am atheist/agnostic (Still being decided though I'm pretty sure I'm agnostic) I don't really know how to tell this to my family either, though, I am not very concerned. Finding out I was panromantic was cool, I was reading an article about a Broadway actress(I love Broadway)about her relationship with another woman. It didn't strike me as 'odd' but 'interesting'. I read through it and found myself agreeing with alot of what she was saying about not caring whether it was a man or woman she was with, but focusing on personality. I set that aside. Later I came across the definition of pansexual and it hit me. I used pansexual for a time until I read the definition of asexual, and was like 'oh'. After finding out there were romantic options too, I settled with panromantic asexual.

@MissMia

I wish that there were more less known sexuality books. So i want to see a non binary prince/princess (I'm sorry i don't know the gender neutral term), an asexual 'playboy'(Everyone thinks he's really into it but he's actually asexual) and other stuff like that. Also I want a lesbian princess who gets rescued by a gay guy then she marries his sister.

@Twitchy

oh oh! @MissMia what about a transgender princess who wants to wear dresses and be rescued by a prince while her lesbian sister would rather save a princess and marry them, so when the sister gets taken to the tallest tower to be guarded by the royal dragon that they have grown up around, they swap places to fulfill their own dreams. I dunno I'm really sleepy right now.

Hannah

I'm really thirsting for more stories with LGBTQ+ characters that are not defined by it. A story with a lesbian character for example, who is attracted to girls but her story line is not about that (except maybe a romantic subplot). A hero with a unique personality and interesting, compelling story, that just doesn't identify with the gender they were assigned at birth. Some story like Harry Potter, or even The Land of Stories, except the love interest is the same gender as the protagonist or anything like that.

@quietquirks

If anyone is on Wattpad, you guys should read "The Undoing of Ryder Burke". It's not for the faint of heart, though, because it's about a rape victim, but she's pansexual and colored, adopted, and has two gay dads, which is super cool. Amazing book.

@quietquirks

@MissMia so this girl gets raped by her best friends (yes, friends, plural) and no one believes her because of her reputation as a sexually active human. not to mention, these "friends" have quite a high status at their school as great football players and supposedly awesome people. so she has to see their faces every day, deal with school, losing more friends after she blows up at them about the rape, and then there's this one guy who's befriending her for some unknown reason, whom she has mixed feelings about. throughout the book, she deals with ptsd and whether she should come out about the rape and prosecute in court, because she has nothing to lose—her friends left, her reputation is already damaged beyond repair, etc—and there's just so much to the story. it is a FANTASTIC read.

@PuffPoff

If anyone is on Wattpad, you guys should read "The Undoing of Ryder Burke". It's not for the faint of heart, though, because it's about a rape victim, but she's pansexual and colored, adopted, and has two gay dads, which is super cool. Amazing book.

I'm on part two and it's so amazing thank you for suggesting it

Deleted user

As much as I would like to see more diversity, I've noticed that whenever people do make diverse characters the character's diversity becomes their personality. I mean, Bill Potts was an excellent representation of homosexuality as they made it be one small fact about the character, not her entire personality. But I rarely see such brilliant representation in other media.

@PuffPoff

@Impossible_Girl cough Raymond Holt from Brooklyn 99 cough cough

cough Rosa Diaz cough cough