"I-I just… missed this so much…" Cas hiccuped a bit, hot tears rolling down his cheeks. "Even… even if they didn't love me… even if it was f-fake, I just… I need this so badly…" He gripped the fabric of Hypnos' shirt, noticeably shaking. "I-I just… need someone… t-to be there… even if it's fake…"
”There there…” Hypnos whispered with a subtle low tone ”I’m here… don’t worry,” he added with the same sort of tone. When Cas mentioned of his past experiences dealing with fakers and such, Hypnos’ eyes went somewhat blank. There were words he knew he couldn’t say.
”I’ll be here for as long as you need me,” he claimed with that warm young tone of his.
His mind, though, went somewhere else at the same time. Yes, he cared for Cas. Why wouldn’t he? But he also thought of tracking down those who have hurt this poor boy, perhaps putting them in eternal sleep. Then again, since it classifies as murder, he might have to rethink that again some time…
Cas nodded shakily. "Thank you, and I… I-I'm so sorry… m'sorry you have to deal with me… I'm such a fucking mess and I'm sorry…" He bit down hard on his lip, fresh tear flowing down his cheeks. "I'm sorry…" He kept whispering apologies over and over, ignoring Nix's worried meows. The cat began circling the two of them again, thinking that Hypnos was upsetting Cas somehow.
Hypnos’ eyes narrowed at his words. Why was being so apologetic? There wasn’t anything he had to be sorry about. For all he knew, Cas had done nothing wrong. He was just treated wrong by other people, not his fault.
”Don’t be sorry,” he reassured.
”Please don’t be…”
Cas choked on his sobs and coughed, shaking a bit more violently. "W— W-Why not? I… I m-must be a shitty person if they all left me… right? I-I'm too high maintenance and demanding and I can't really be alone and I don't want to have sex but they make me and I need someone to hold onto but they just don't care…" He rambled on, not caring much whether he was even coherent at this point. "They d-didn't love me… they just… w-wanted me… f… f-for my body…" He clung to Hypnos, biting down hard on his lip.
”You weren’t at fault, Cas. The world was. You weren’t the one to blame. The world was. It was their selfishness that was at fault. It was never your fault,” he reassured, patting Cas’ back softly. His speculation was correct, Cas was indeed viewed as merely a toy by the people around him. He didn’t enjoy it. Maybe it was because the lack of intimacy and genuineness. Either way, Hypnos wanted to make him feel better before forcing him to do anything unless it was necessary for the both of them.
"B-But why would they treat me that way if I don't deserve it? I'm just a disgusting street rat who makes shit decisions and they've got every right to treat me the way they did, I just… it h-hurts… I c… c-can't… I don't deserve someone who actually cares about me and loves me, but I need that… more than anything…" Cas tried to force himself to relax to no avail. He didn't even really seem to notice or care that he was spilling all of his personal information to Hypnos, who he'd only just met.
Hypnos gave a small nod, a bit too small to notice.
”That’s why I’m here, Cas. That’s why I’m here…” he reassured, patting Cas’ back softly as he did. The boy’s situation was worse than he’d thought.
”You don’t have to be afraid anymore. I want to give you the love you deserved,”
Cas hiccuped a bit. "W-Why do you want to, though? I'm… I'm pathetic…" He whispered weakly. "And probably a waste of your time… aren't there better things that you could be doing?" He asked, his voice soft and broken.
”What could be better than helping someone in need though?” Hypnos had asked with a small laugh, hugging the boy tighter, making sure that by tight he didn’t mean suffocating the boy. His warmth was overwhelming, even to Hypnos. It questioned him as to why people would leave the boy. There just wasn’t a reason for it…
"I-I guess you're right…" He exhaled shakily, melting into Hypnos' touch. "You're going to have to leave eventually though, won't you? You can't… you c-can't just stay here on earth with me forever, can you?"
Hypnos flinched slightly at the question. His honest answer was ‘no’ but he didn’t want to give the boy too much hope for reasons he could not disclose… yet.
”We’ll see… but I promise to stay for as long as you need me…” he brought up.
Cas sighed softly. "I-I know you can't stay forever, it's just… it's hard to think about…" He buried his face in Hypnos' shoulder, trembling a bit. Nix started rubbing up against his legs again in an attempt to calm him down.