Loki chuckled lightly through the sadness and nodded, "that or 'food'" he murmured, tucking Avalin under his chin. "We'll see him soon my love." He took a deep, shaky breath and slowly sat up. "We should really start packing my dear." He murmured, pressing a kiss to her brow. "Any specific place you'd like to visit or want to figure that out when we get there?"
She silently snuggled under his chin, nodding in hopeful agreement. Avalin wanted nothing more than to see their child again, and even if they saw Leif soon, it would still be too long to wait. "Do we have to?" She mumbled, pressing a kiss to his cheek as she wriggled out of his arms, forcing herself to get back on task, "I want to visit everywhere, anywhere that is pretty and that we can explore."
"we do, my queen." He reassured, standing up with her and gently pressing a kiss to her brow before finding some luggage bags and starting to pack. "Pretty and explorable?" He mused with a small laugh, "I may have a few places in mind. Would you be open to exploring other realms? I know we've only been to midgard. Of course there's nothing wrong with that if it makes you comfortable."
“I’ll go anywhere, surprise me,” She replied, imagining that her husband had many places already picked to visit. The thought alone made her smile softly, she was still grieving Leif, but she wanted to allow herself happiness when they were traveling, starting with packing. Avalin smoothly made her way to their closet, looking through possible outfits even though Loki could pack their bags in a matter of seconds with his magic.
Loki grinned when Avalin replied, already knowing a few places he'd love to take his wife. Even with the hole in his heart and the aching pain that the loss if his son still and probably would alway bring, he'd try his best to make the most of the life they would have had even if he were still alive. When Avalin packed in the closet, Loki packed anything in the main living room by hand, still feeling guilty about using his magic. How could someone, a god, have so much power but not save his son?
(I have no excuse for how late this is….all I can say is that i'm sorry)
"Love, what do you think of this one?" Avalin said as she poked her head out of the closet, stepping out and holding up a cream and gold dress up, smoothing it out with a tiny smile, "Does it look like something people on Earth would wear?" She was crushed about Leif, but something in her was still excited to be going to earth, and that was the part she was clinging onto, hoping it would bring her enough energy to pack and leave before she started overthinking.
Shaken from his thoughts, he glanced up at Avalin with a small smile. "My love, you know I'm not the best person to ask that. I think you look stunning in everything and anything." He sighed whistfully and looked over the dress, then her. "But that aside, yes it does, and you look amazing." He stepped forwards and lightly brushed a hand along Avalon's cheek, pressing a kiss to her brow. "Have you packed everything already?" He asked remaining by her side, comforted by her closeness
(it's ok! Please don't apologies! I don't mind waiting! Thank you for sticking around so long with this to, I love rping with you so much! <3)
Avalin smiled back at him, setting the dress to the side before walking to Loki. She leaned into his touch, pressing a kiss to his hand before turning back towards the closet, but not leaving his side, "Almost, I have a few more things I want to pack, then I should be done." She sighed, looking up at him, "What else do we have to do before we can go?"
(I can say the same about you! I love rping with you, this has been so fun!)
Loki swallowed thickly and glanced out the window momentarily. "I want to see where Leif is first before we go." He murmured softly. "There should be a temporary…grave…" He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Even the word sounded foul. He never in a million years would he have imagine using his son's name along with 'grave.' he turned back to his wife and queen and smiled softly, glancing into the closet, seeing a few dresses still hanging in the closet. "Quite the collection, my dear." He gently teased, recognizing some of those dresses from back when they dated
The mention of a grave alone made Avalin somber up almost instantly, and she closed her eyes, collecting herself before she nodded gently. It still pained her to realize that her son was dead, even if she had known that since it had happened. Pulling herself out of her thoughts, she looked up when he spoke again. She couldn’t help but smile gently when he mentioned her collection of dresses, “It’s not that impressive, I have to find more to add before I get anywhere close to your collection of outfits.”
Loki barked a laugh and feigned offense, only because it was true, "it's getting close." He lightly brushed a hand along a gold and blush colored dress, shorter than the others but still a modest length, one of his personal favorites. He lightly pressed a kiss to her temple before slowly turning back to packing the rest of their things.
"Maybe I'll find some more when were away," She added, leaning into the chaste kiss before picking out a few more added things, "I've been looking for a pretty red one…and something for Leif's funeral…" Her last words were quieter, more somber as she closed up the closet and set her packed bag on the bed. Sitting down beside it, she watched her husband pack, taking comfort in the fact that they were once again together, if nothing more.
Loki nodded slightly, chest constricting at the mention of the funeral. It seemed like no matter how hard they tried, their son's death would loom over them for a good long while. He packed the rest if his clothes as well as any of their combined remaining items into the final luggage case by hand and zipped it shut. He walked over to Avalin side and slowly sat down beside her, gently taking her hands in his. "I wonder what his favorite color would have been." He whispered softly. "Or his favorite food, or his first words." He laughed roughly to shove down a sob and brushed aside tears. "Anything, to give us a mere glimpse of what our son would have been like." Another sob wracked through his body but he refused to let that sadness overtake him. He had cried and lost so much over the past few years. "At least we know who the little prince preferred," he half-heartedly teased. "I doubt he would have let you go if mother hadn't needed to leave." He offered a shaky smile and pressed his lips to Avalin hair.
Tears formed in her eyes as she imagined life with Leif by their side, and before long she was crying freely. She dipped her head down, wondering how they were going to live without their child. It had been less than a few days and already she could feel the pull of sadness threaten to consume her further. She let out a broken laugh between sobs at his teasing, pressing herself against him. "I don't know how we're going to go on without him…it's going to be impossible," She murmured, hastily wiping away a few of her tears, as if it would help her stop bawling.
Loki wrapped his arms around his wife, letting his silent tears fall. He pressed a kiss to her temple, glad that he could still make her smile, even amist their loss. “Its going to take a while. It might take years, decades even. It may not ever go away. And thats alright.” He murnured into her hair, as much of a reassurance for her as it was for him. “We’ll live for him, until we can stay with him later.” He tilted his head back and gently wiped away her tears.
Avalin nodded gently and let him wipe away her tears, trying to compose herself as much as she could. She didn't speak, only sighed shakily and leaned her head on his shoulder. All she could do was believe him. As hard as it was, it was all she could do until it got easy enough to do. After a long moment, she finally murmured, lacing her hand in his, "I suppose we should finish our packing…"
Loki have a reluctant nod and pressed a kiss to her hand. "I think I finished with mine. I didn't bring much. There's still space in my bag if you want to pack in more." He said softly, slowly standing and gently pulled her up with him. "Then we can leave." He pressed a kiss to her head.
She nodded, lifting herself up to press a soft kiss to his cheek, "All I need to pack is a coat, then I'll be done." Avalin gently let go of him, making her way to the closet and looking around for a few minutes before coming back out with a slate gray coat. Adding it to Loki's bag, she turned back to him, very gently smiling, "I think we can go now…after finding where Leif is."
He zipped up the suitcases and set them by the door, ready to be picked up later when they officially left for Midgard or whatever realm would bring them farthest away from the pain. He pulled open the door and glanced over to his wife with a slight nod, offering his arm to her as he mentally readied himself to see their child's temporary resting place. It still appalled him how not a few days ago, he was in a cell, away from his pregnant wife, and then the next, losing his son to the heavens above where they could only reach him in dream.
Avalin laced her arm with his, glancing around the room one more time with a pause. It had been so long since the two of them had stayed in the room together, it almost didn't feel like their room anymore. Between Loki's imprisonment, her vanishing, and the general chaos, it almost felt fitting not to be spending more time in Asgard. She needed to go somewhere new, to clear her mind, and to get away from the place that held so many emotions. She didn't speak as she glanced around, just took a moment before turning back to the moment at hand, looking up at her husband and nodding that she was ready to go.
Loki pressed a gentle kiss to her brow before starting into a walk, the silence heavy around them as they walked through the halls. No guards joined them on their walk through the castle, something Loki was surprised who's brother only allowed for this moment. He turned a corner that lead to the palace catacombs where countless rulers and warriors rested, the most recent, his mother, his father, and now, his son. He nodded slightly to the guards at the door, carefully watching as they reluctantly left their stations to give Loki and Avalin privacy. "Are you ready?" He asked softly, tearing his gaze away from the doors to look at his wife
Avalin stayed deadly silent, forcing herself to stay calm and put together, telling herself that she wasn't going to cry again. "As ready as I can be," She replied in the same soft tone, her eyes not leaving the heavy door. The solem sorrow that was sitting on the other side was more than she wanted to handle, but for their son, for her husband, she would deal with it. Reaching for Loki's hand, she watched as the doors opened but stayed right where she stood.
Loki gave a gentle squeeze to Avalin's hands as he started forward into the royal crypt. He couldn't remember the last time he had been in the room. Frigga visited him enough in dreams so he didn't have to visit the grave save for her deaths anniversary. As for Odin, Loki personally had accepted his death long ago and felt at peace with what they had resolved. There was no need to outwardly see his grave in his own opinion. With a deposit breath, Loki wove them through the various crypts and tablets meant to stabilize the resting places of asgard's royal ancestors. They eventually came upon a trio of headstone tablets, each smaller than the one before. One for his adoptive father, a white stone with golden lettering, a gold headstone decorated with jeweled flowers and ornate fillagree, the last a simple emrald Jade tablet with a singular name inked in black and gold, awaiting a departing message from his parents.