forum Choking on Crimson Ash [OxO // mature 18+ // closed]

Started May 16, 2023 by @ElderGod-Carrots

tune

Even though Nari was cold and slim and wasn’t exactly the best at comfort all things considered, the hug helped more than he would ever say. At least someone was here and someone was alive. That was the main thing. Everyone else was dying or dead and Caeso couldn’t do anything to save them. They were gone, but Nari was still alive. He was here and holding him and Caeso hadn’t done anything to lose him yet and so that was good and what he should be focusing on.

But he couldn’t stop thinking about all of his men, his friends, those who he considered his family, dying out there. Calling and screaming for him to do something as they were ripped apart and yet here he was, cowering away in the arms of a spirit he had just met. Pathetic. Utterly and totally pathetic for a man who had spent his whole life fighting to be hiding. At least on the battlefield he didn’t hear those around him calling for him. Here, it was as if their deaths were on him. His fault. He could stop it. He could help. He could do something but no, he wasn’t.

And if the noise from those around him wasn’t enough his head would not stop. Caeso wished there was some way for him to focus on anything else. But there wasn’t. It was either listen to the screams and death outside or the thoughts going on inside his head and neither were good. He was suffering in every way possible and of all things Nari was the one humming melodies in his ear to try and soothe him. That was odd. For a spirit who had spent time teasing him in the library and especially for someone that Caeso disliked, it was strange. But there was a small part of him that didn’t mind it. As weird as it was to think that, he didn’t mind it, but there was no way he was ever going to think about that again after they separated.

Outside, the roaring and the screaming finally came to a halt. Well, not entirely, but they dulled and faded as the demons moved to another part of the castle. Caeso didn’t register it, he was too caught up in his own head to pay attention since the loudness of his brain was overtaking majority of the outside world. But they finally faded away, and all that would be left outside that room were the bodies of his fellow men that had met their unfortunate demise.

As if he could hear Caeso's thoughts, Nari's own mind turned to the men calling for Caeso. He understood why they had. They were his family, his friends, and he was their captain. This was not a normal battle, not a normal war. They were all scared, desperate for a relief to the pain and suffering, and they looked to Caeso for help. He understood, but that didn't stop Nari from being just a little upset with them. They had every right in their dying moments to wish for someone to save them, but they all had put their deaths on Caeso as a result.

It wasn't fair of them to do that, not when there was enough shit going on in the world right now because of Ezekt. How did they expect Caeso to help them? They were soldiers; they had to know they were gone the moment the demons tore into them. The man breaking down in Nari's arms didn't have the ability to magically heal them or to whisk the demons away from them all and their torment. Them calling out to him was just making him feel as though it was his fault for letting them die while he did nothing and instead ran away. The more Nari thought about it, the more irrationally angry it made him, even if he didn't know why he was suddenly so worked up over the mental wellbeing of a man that hated him.

Nari's ears twitched and lifted some when the sounds of the demons got fainter, but he flattened them once more as he cuddled Caeso further into his chest. "It's not your fault," he whispered, speaking more into the man's hair than anything, the words a hushed mumble. "Their deaths aren't on you. Never were, and won't ever be. You don't wear their blood—the demons do." His fingers combed through the man's hair like a soft pet and detangling of knots. "You're not at fault, I promise." An idea slipped through his thoughts and hesitation, and he went with it before he could back out. Nari stayed silent, but he whispered into Caeso's mind, sneaking his words into the tangle of the man's thoughts. "They still love you. Survival is not betrayal."

The spirit didn't know what else to say or how to comfort Caeso. They didn't know each other—quite frankly, they had a mildly distasteful relationship at best—and Nari only felt compelled to help the man from some innate feeling that wasn't going away. So, not sure if anything was really working, he stuck to the hug and idle playing with Caeso's hair as the most prominent ways to comfort right then.

Nari’s words rung so loud in his head. They pushed through all his thoughts and were loud and clear in the midst of them. Survival is not betrayal. No, it wasn’t, but the fact that he hadn’t even attempted to help them was. He had turned his back on them on their final moments, let them believe that he didn’t care, probably, considering all he had done was let himself be dragged away by the spirit. He hadn’t even called out to them them that he was sorry, that he hoped that they found peace with the Eclipse and the torment ended quickly. No, none of that, he had just let himself be run away by a man he barely knew. Their deaths were on him in his mind. Nothing Nari could ever say or do was ever going to change that in his mind.

The words of the spirit did, however, drag Caeso out of his thoughts enough to remove his hands from his ears to access what was happening around them. As much as his thoughts still remained, the ones calling him a coward, pathetic and a runaway captain, they were pushed to the back of his mind when the screaming and roaring faded. They were dead. His men were dead. He didn’t know whether that was a relief or not considering the state of his mind. But it did mean that they could move again.

A distant, very faint part of his mind called at the captain to stay right where he was. Stay with Nari. Stay in his arms for longer, especially as the spirit had been combing through his hair and that had been far more calming then he wanted to admit to himself. The whole ordeal and actions of the spirit wrapped around him was more calming than he wanted to admit, really. But in his cowardly actions, in hiding away in Nari’s arms, they had lost valuable time. It was something else to add to Caeso’s growing list of reasons why he should probably not even bother attempting to save the city. But who else was there? No one, was the answer, there was no one. Not even the king was doing anything, and Caeso had good reason to believe the man was long gone from anywhere in the surrounding lands.

Finally, albeit a bit reluctantly, Caeso pulled away from Nari. He refused to look at the spirit. To lift his head upwards and tilt it the entire way. He couldn’t face him, as much as Nari was the one who had been comforting him and saying it wasn’t his fault, he couldn’t face anyone right now. The captain, a little shakily, grabbed Nari’s hands in his own and lowered them to the spirits side, gently pushing the man away so he was no longer backed against the wall, “We need to hurry.” Came his only reply as he slipped out of the spirit’s space.

Nari didn't resist when Caeso pushed him away. He had no need to, even if he kind of liked the warmth that had steadily seeped into his skin, not a lot, and it vanished the moment its source backed away and removed that contact between them. What he did do, though, was stop Caeso with an outstretched hand. "Hey," he called softly. When the captain wasn't moving, Nari put on a wry little smile and ghosted his curled fingers over the man's nose in a gentle grab, which was more a flick than a grab. He was lucky he guessed right. "Don't rush too much, yeah? You'll forget something." And if the man needed the time to recoup, then he should take it.

With that, Nari let Caeso go and even took a step back to give him space, and a signal that he won't be bothered anymore. His smile dropped the second he faced the wall again, once he was pretty sure the captain wasn't paying attention to him.

Nari had a headache. The spirit tried ignoring it all, but it wasn't easy. It had been easier when he had Caeso to distract him, but it was just assaulting him at this point. The screaming still echoed in his ears, no matter how tightly he flattened them to his head, and the voices. The urges had graduated to voices, all howling for him to join the fight, to stop resisting Ezekt and repent. How many times had Nari repented, only for it to all be for naught because he couldn't help himself? It would never be enough for Ezekt, and he knew that. The most it had done was destroy his health and sanity to nearly the brink of being a walking corpse.

And the rot. Death permeated the air and annihilated his nose, invading his senses until he couldn't focus on anything but the decay of the demons and the bodies. He could smell the blood and guts spilling across the floor, enough so that he could picture it. Nari sucked in a breath to calm himself and block it all out, but it just made it all worse. Sometimes. Sometimes he wished he hadn't ever been born the way he was. It was beyond exhausting, and had been the source of all his problems since day one. Makota, of course, would smack him if she knew he was thinking such things again. But he just couldn't stand it in times like this. The screams, the howling, the death clinging to him like a second skin—it was making his very being curl up like a dying bloom.

Caeso was tempted to make a comment about the flick to his nose, but decided against it. He wasn't in the mood for teasing or games. They didn't need this wasted time catching up on them eventually. Everything caught up in the end, as much as he hated that it would. He wished that they had more time, that he had more time to recover and gain his bearings and his sanity. But, as it was, he did need to rush, if only just a little. His little breakdown had cost them valuable time and from what he could guess from a brief look over his shoulder at the spirit, as much as the other had his back turned, they both needed to get out of there.

The longer they stuck around the higher the chance of being found. Caeso had no doubt that a demon would come crawling through the window or try to tear down that door at any minute. And if they didn't get to them then the fires certainly will. There were only two exits to his part of the castle - the one they had come through, and the one they would inevitably leave through. The one they had entered from he had no doubt would be blocked, and either way, would be riddled with bodies that Caeso wasn't ready to face, and so there was only one other option. If that one went down then they would be forced to backtrack, which would cause them both more harm than good and increase their likelihood of an early death. Neither was wanted.

It was why he was so quick to grab his travelling bag and kit and through them together on his bed. His sword was still at his side, but extra daggers and knives, medical supplies, the bits of food from the last trip, a water canister, or two, just in case, and anything else that might be needed. A few changes of clothes but he had a feeling that they wouldn't be in any place that would warrant changing unless necessary. Essentially he was packing for war, which was exactly what it was.

And his heart ached as he took a final look at the room he had spent so long residing in. Would he ever return? If he did, would it even be here when they got back? Caeso didn't want to spend too long thinking about it. If he did he probably wouldn't leave and go join the fight, if there was anyone left to fight with. By now there were no cries from the hallways in the general vicinity which he was more than relieved about, but he could smell the death and decay already. They needed out. It was why, when he moved back towards Nari and gently pushed him out the way of the door wordlessly to unlock it, he grabbed the spirit's wrist. It was an action that he did without thinking and from instinct. He had done it far too many times in other situations. Now that his head was cleared, too, he remembered how glassy Nari's eyes had been and made a note to ask about it.

Peering around the door, making sure there were no demons hiding away waiting for them to leave, the captain led them out, "Let's go get your things."

Just to drown out all the noises and pain ringing through his ears, Nari focused on the subtle sounds of Caeso moving around and packing things up. His ears twitched here and there to follow the direction of the sounds, but otherwise stayed flat and stubborn in his quest to block everything out as best as he could. Eventually, it would all go away. Either he and Caeso would leave the palace and be on their way, or the demons would let up at some point. That was the only thing that kept him from going completely insane from it all, especially as the howls turned into cries and phantom claws digging into his bones, dragging him towards the chaos of the demon's violence.

In all honesty, he had forgotten about going back to his den to get his own things for the journey. His focus had been on Caeso for so long—an unusual feat for him, a nomad only interacting for the sake of entertainment—that his half of the task had slipped his mind. Even listening to the man gather his things, then go silent as he presumably surveyed the room, didn't even jog his memory. He was thinking about his friends, though. About how Caeso was losing all of his in a matter of seconds and minutes within each other, while Nari's were off doing Gods know what, with no way to tell if they were alive or dead or enslaved in some way.

Was Ezekt going to go after them too? Eiya was a slippery bastard, a pirate captain through and through, even if long retired. If anyone could outsmart the hands of the Death God, it would be him. Greed motivated him absolutely to a fault, but spite and pettiness overruled that greed sometimes, and he'd suddenly lose that trait in the face of being a dick right back. If Ezekt offered him anything, he'd never accept. The man had watched Nari crawl out of his chains and even dragged him through the mud to get him to where he was today (Nari still believed that particular mud-bath wasn't necessary and rather a cruel and unusual punishment). And Maikota was strong-willed and strong-hearted, with morals that only she knew but stuck to them like glue. Her intuition was like no other, and had more often than not gotten Nari and Eiya into trouble with her. Nothing would be able to sway her from her stance, and she was just as wily as Nari and Eiya when she wanted to be. If demons came after her, Nari pitied them for the tongue-lashing they'd get.

But, as much as he believed his friends would be okay, that wasn't a guarantee. They could be caught off guard, or rendered helpless and dragged into submission, if not death. The soldiers that had been Caeso's friends were capable warriors, but not capable enough to take down an onslaught of demons. Nari would never know until he saw his friends if they were alive, while the captain knew in horrifying detail the status of them.

Then Nari was suddenly being touched, pushed gently out of the way of the door. The captain was done. Already? He opened his mouth to say something, ask if Caeso was ready maybe, but he startled again at the touch around his wrist. His mouth closed, and he turned his attention to the opening door with the slightest of perplexed expressions but not a word about it. Now wasn't the time. "Right, yes, my stuff. We better hurry if we don't want a run-in."

Caeso peered around the door, and he was lucky that it made no noise when he did so. No demons. Nothing around. Good, made things a bit easier. Well, as easy things could get in the grand scheme of it all. With only a moment's hesitation the captain led them out of his chambers and he sent a silent prayer that one day he could return to the comfy bed and the array of trinkets he had collected over the years of worlds and kingdoms he had visited. If they even were still there when he got back. There was a chance that the whole palace could be burned to the ground and be nothing but a pile of rubble and ash. He hoped that wasn't going to be the case. He hoped he was able to come home. Even if he did, nothing would ever be the same again.

The captain didn't want to count how many of his friends - his family, were dead. He didn't want to go out there and race the carnage and the bodies that would no doubt still be there when he returned. If he returned. There would be a mass clean up and the whole city would need to be rebuilt from the ground up again. Fuck, would the king even come back? The man was, as much as Caeso loved him like another father, a coward at heart. The captain hadn't been afraid to tell him so and he had gotten in a lot of shit for doing so, but someone had to tell the man the truth. It was why, when Caeso had been commanded to try and fix things without any other direction before the man had fled, he had known that the chances of him coming back at the end of it all were slim. Not unless by some miracle Caeso - and now Nari - pulled this stunt off, but still, his doubts were high. And with no king, half of Caeso's friends dead… there would most likely not even be an option for a kingdom to rebuild.

He could only hope and focus on the present, which right now, resulted in getting them out of the burning castle and the maze of bodies safe and alive. And the man didn't let go of Nari's wrist as he led them out, the door quietly shutting behind them. Caeso turned left, down the other end of the hall. He did his best to avoid looking down, avoiding his gaze from the bodies and refusing to track where streams of blood led to others that he couldn't see. Get out. It was the only thought that was going through his head. Get out. Get out now.

The hall wasn't long and descended down a stairway to the lower basement of the palace. When they reached the bottom, it was another crossroad. One way led to the dungeons, the other to storage, and one to a tunnel that led out of there. He'd never had to use it before, never had the need to. He knew of it as it was his job to know the layout of the palace back to front and inside out, but it had been a while since he had been down there. That was when he finally let go of Nari's wrist.

A graveyard. That's what the city was now, what the palace was. A blind man could feel it in the eerie stillness of the air. It felt haunted already. A building lacking in carved-out stones, with souls adrift and no earthen blanket to keep them warm. Nari had no doubt that some of them would become spirits, just like him—reincarnated into a supernatural being as a form of balance to the injustice, born from the fiery heat of revenge searing into their souls in their last moments. He wondered how many would come back to Caeso in time, if the man would be more receptive to them than he had been to Nari. Hopefully, for the sake of both the captain and the fallen soldiers.

There was no telling what would happen to the city after everything cooled down, or even when Ezekt was detained if the two of them managed to accomplish that impossible feat. There was a high possibility people would want to move as far away from there as possible, never to return to the site of the slaughter. The city would become nothing but memories and a ghost town, while the Fae people scattered or migrated to somewhere new. Or, by some stroke of luck, the haunted state of it wouldn't be enough to drive people away from their home and instead everyone would slowly filter back in and rebuild. The population would be nowhere near what it used to be, the glory it held not as illustrious and fantastical as it once was, but with time the Fae would restore their home and their hearts.

And Nari… if he survived, Nari would go back adrift. Hardly home and always up to no good. He and Caeso wouldn't have to be stuck with one another for any longer, the captain would no longer have to worry about the spirit he hated. Never to see each other again, most likely, just as it had been before. Caeso would likely forget all about him soon after they split up, if he was honest with himself. Maybe have memories of an annoying fox that nipped at his heels at all hours of the day while he tried to save his people from the Death God.

Caeso started moving, and Nari let himself be led around the palace by that grip on his wrist. Usually he'd complain about being dragged around like a dog, but now was a delicate situation and he wasn't even entirely sure Caeso knew what he was doing. The smell, though, only got worse as they walked. The movement in the otherwise still space rustled the scents, wafting them into Nari's space and invading his senses. He did his best to ignore it and keep going, and it worked for the most part. It was especially easy to lose his focus on that when Caeso let go of him. Nari lightly pressed his fingertips against the nearest wall to catch his bearings. "Do you know where you're going?" he asked, though he kept his voice hushed.

Caeso hadn't even thought about whether or not those that had died in the palace would return as spirits. Definitely hadn't thought of the possibility of them returning for the chance to return to him and see him. And if he did, he would have figured that the only reason as to why would be to shame and guilt him further for the fact that he had left them to die, rather than coming to say hello. All the captain could hope for was peace for them. Peace in death. Peace so they could rest in whatever world they ended up in next, Above or Under, regardless of what happened to them next. They deserved that after a death that had been so tragic and unwarranted. He didn't know if he would ever be able to say the same for himself, or hope for peace in death, with the guilt that followed him around and weighed heavier on his shoulders with every death.

In the dark of the tunnel, Caeso used the little light from the candles that had led the path down there to form another of his orbs of light. It flickered much like the flames from the candles it had come from had been, and for a moment he was worried it would burn out, but it glimmered in his palm. He wanted to make sure the path was somewhat safe - at least secure - before they ventured down there. With a small push, the captain sent the orb floating slowly down the correct tunnel. The light bounced off the walls and for a while he was silent, watching and accessing, as it travelled further and further away until eventually, it was only a small dot in the distance. Then it came whizzing back to his hand. Caeso knew the tunnel didn't go much further than that, and so, he deemed it safe.

Then he was turning back to Nari, "More or less," Because he hadn't been down there for a while, and for all he knew, there could be another tunnel that had been created without his knowledge since his last visit, "But it's out only way out." They certainly couldn't go back up to the palace. Even though Caeso presumed that by now the demons had moved to an entirely different part of the palace, he didn't want to face the bodies lying up there. If they went up, he would have to see each one that had died, even more so than when they had first entered the palace, and he wouldn't be able to stop himself from ever leaving if he did that. Only as a last resort, "Are you- Are you good?"

Was it really the right question or time to ask? Probably not. But Caeso tracked the spirit's movements, how Nari leaned to the nearest wall. Maybe it was a lead-in to his questions about whether or not the man could actually see. But regardless, would Nari be truthful? Caeso didn't know and didn't know whether or not he should ask him now or later.

More or less. Nari supposed he could take that as an answer, because it wasn't as though he knew his way around the palace to judge whether or not the captain knew the layout. Plus, it was reasonable to assume from the dusty and stale hint to the air that this section wasn't used much, or at least not often enough to be polished and cleaned on the regular. They were going through an escape route, he realized. A backdoor. The bodies from above blocked the way from where they came, and the demons could still be there if they decided to linger for whatever reason. A hope for extra snacks, maybe, hiding about until they thought it safe to leave.

Caeso should've checked the tunnel for anything dangerous, but the spirit did his own, perking his ears and twisting them to see if he could pick up on any sound. Nothing of importance immediately jumped out at him, and the demons were gruff enough to make some sort of noise even while idle, so he turned his attention back to the captain, expectantly waiting for them to move on and get out of here.

Except Caeso didn't move. In fact, he did the opposite and talked to Nari, asking him if he was good. The spirit cocked his head and his brows twitched in confusion. He wasn't following the sudden question. "I mean, I'm getting a headache from the smell and everything, but I'm fine." He hadn't said anything, never expressed discomfort or any sort of complaint, so why was Caeso asking out of the blue? It didn't occur to him that Caeso might've caught on to his lack of sight and that's what he was asking about. His touch to the wall fell, as if he had simply been looking for a brief bit of stability and balance, and he knew that he was holding the man's gaze well enough to not be out of ordinary purely from practice at judging where he heard a voice then looking up. Surely it was too early for someone to catch onto his tells, read into the subtle changes in behavior and link it to blindness. Caeso especially, who didn't like him and would rather he not be in the same space as Nari. He was the last person to watch the spirit long enough and closely enough to figure it out.

And either way, it still wasn't the time regardless of what Caeso had picked up on. They had a palace to escape, then a short trek to Nari's place for him to gather his things for the trip into the Under. Maybe a quick note to tell his friends what he had done and where he had gone before they came looking for him and found nothing. If there was a time to check in and ask about things, it would be then while they didn't have the threat of demons bearing down on them.

Caeso drummed his fingers on the hilt of his sword from where he stood and a frown etched into his features. This time it wasn’t because of the demons or the blood and death, but once more because of the spirit. Not that that was usual at this point, and he figured it would be a regular occurrence over the course of their time spent together, but the captain had a hunch and the fact that there was something visible to indicate that Nari’s eyes weren’t what they had been before.

Because when the man had been nose to nose with him Nari’s eyes had been brighter, he could see the white streaks laced in that burgundy colour that had him holding his gaze. He had seen the mischievous glitter behind them, but now it seemed dulled. Faded. Glassy, and Caeso knew there was something wrong. It was why the captain took a few steps forward until they were nearly chest to chest in order to get a better look. His neck was going to start killing him with all this craning and looking up but he couldn’t bring himself to care. Not at the moment when he needed to prove his point and that Nari was leaving out information that may be important.

“Your eyes are different,” He said matter of factly, “Why are they different?” Was Nari blind or was it just a trick of the light? Caeso directed the light towards him until it was hovering just next to the spirits face in order to get a better look. Yeah, there was definitely something different about them, and Caeso was tempted to yank the spirit down by his neck so he could look closer and inspect the man as if he were a doctor and Nari was his patient.

They had only just met, sure, but would the other lie to him? He wanted to hope that Nari wouldn’t, but logically he knew that he was probably wrong about that. And they didn’t really have time to argue or wait because time was ticking and anything could come down those stairs. Caeso wasn’t looking for an argument, but he wanted to know the truth.

Nari's head cocked the other way, his confusion not lessening even as Caeso specified what he was focused on. He tracked the other's movement as best as he could, ears pointed at him in intrigue and total attention, and only got more confused but intrigued when the captain stepped into his space and willingly got so close. "My eyes?" he asked. What was so special about them that Caeso felt the need to point them out. Why where they different? The question could mean so many things or have several intentions behind it that Nari didn't know how to interpret it. "I'm not exactly Fae—they're bound to look abnormal. Is it the color?"

This is what Caeso wanted to halt their progression for? To grill Nari about his eyes? The man had even gotten closer as if wanting to inspect them but held off, just standing there right under Nari's nose. What was so special about them that they had to take the time to focus on them, when there were more important things and places to focus on and get to. Caeso already struck Nari as someone who wanted to get things done efficiently, so stopping them for something so trivial seemed out of character for him. Slowly, though, it started to dawn on him that his condition was potentially discovered.

Outwardly, he didn't reveal anything. Just the slightest twitch of his ear in mild annoyance. So this was going to be a thing. He had hoped that it would slide by until a lot later, preferably when the curse wore off once again and he could see again. But if there was a physical change that happened between normally and when blind, then he was screwed. Caeso had picked up on it, so there would be no convincing him otherwise that things were fine. Maybe Nari shouldn't have gotten so close to the man while in the library if this was the consequence. The captain was too observant, which wasn't good for Nari's need to keep things hidden.

Caeso's theory was only proven more right when the spirit didn't even squint when he held up the light right next to Nari's face. He couldn't see it, just felt the lightest touch of magical light on his face which had him automatically leaning to the side just a fraction like that would do anything to hold up his omitted truth.

No squint. Not even a flicker of the spirit's eyes in response to the light that Caeso had moved and the captain's frown very nearly flickered into a triumphant grin as if it proved that he had something on Nari. But the man's response was just something else to add to the growing list of actions and words that Nari had done in such a short time period to annoy him. Why the hell would it be the colour of all things that was the problem? Eyes didn't just change colour unless there was some weird magical shit going on but he figured that he would have seen that if that was the case. No, it was something else.

Which was why Caeso gave in to the urge to yank Nari down to his eye level. He had no plans on keeping him there long, just enough for him to get a good, long look. Caeso hooked an arm around the spirit's neck, having to stand on his toes to do so, and then lowered Nari to his level. Now that he was closer once more, he could properly see the difference, "I can't see the white streaks in them anymore, and they look glassy, like there's something dulling them and making you look as if you're not present." He had a far-off look in them that he hadn't had in the library. Was it just because the situation had changed? But Caeso could tell that Nari wasn't someone who would let something like their current position go without comment or challenge. When they had been nose-to-nose in the library, the spirit had teased had had that glint in those now dull eyes that were no longer there. Something was up.

And when he was certain, he unhooked himself from around Nari and took a small step back - both so he wasn't so close to the man and didn't have to look up at him, but also because there was no need to be anymore. He had proof, well, sort of, that he knew the man was lying. Maybe not lying intentionally, but withholding information. Any changes, anything out of the ordinary or different to what was 'normal' needed to be known. If the roles were reversed Caeso would speak up about it because it may prove useful and important. He didn't know why Nari wouldn't tell him.

For the spirit to have been so set on joining forces and coming with him to defeat Ezekt he wasn't exactly doing a great job when it came to the working together thing. For once he had rushed into a burning building without telling Caeso when the captain most certainly would have helped, and now this. He hoped it wasn't going to be a running theme because he might have to kill the spirit himself.

Nari made a small noise of surprise as he was yanked down unexpectedly, not unlike the one he had made when Caeso headbutted his chest. His eyes were wide and jumped all around as if trying to find out what was going on, which gave ample opportunity for the captain to see just how affected his eyes were. Unbeknownst to the spirit until this very moment, there was almost a sort of glassy shadow that had slid over his eyes, hiding the white streaks and putting a visible haze over his irises. Even the burgundy had dulled, losing what little brightness the dark color could conjure. No spark or glint, just flat colors and pupils that didn't even so much as shift. They, too, almost looked as though they were unfocused and that Nari really wasn't there.

But he was. He was very much aware of the proximity between them and how Caeso had an arm hooked around his neck to keep him there. Nari very nearly made a joke about how it wasn't exactly the time for an impromptu first kiss, but then the captain was describing what was different about his eyes. They were visibly wrong, right down to the specifics. Caeso had remembered how they had looked down to the subtle white streaks from when the spirit had cornered him in the library, and applied it to now. Impressive, if it wasn't aiding in his unsaid accusations.

Once he was released, Nari lifted his head in a slight jerk, as if discouraging Caeso from doing that again. It wasn't so much the action—he hadn't minded that—but rather what it was used for. "Is now really the time for this?" he asked, sighing. This was definitely going to become a thing if Caeso refused to let up about it. "I'm fine, you got your answer already." His initial response had been the truth, and was still the truth. Well, actually, that headache was steadily becoming worse, and from factors that hadn't been there before. For example, a Fae captain grilling him about his eyes.

He didn't want to talk about it because there really wasn't anything to talk about. It wasn't anything new to him or something he couldn't adapt to, and because of that, he wouldn't slow Caeso down at all. He knew that the moment he mentioned being blind, it would become a huge deal, and then shit would start happening that pissed him off more than anything. Too many people had taken pity on him and "helped" him with his temporary disability, dragging him around as if he couldn't navigate on his own, describing things to him like he had never seen it before or like he was a child, going out of their way to shove him off to the side for "protection" because in their minds, he wasn't capable. Nari didn't want to go through that whole spiel and wanted to simply let it be. No issues, no spotlight. It would be gone within a day anyway.

Caeso couldn't help the huff that left him at the spirit's response, "Alright, you're fine, but that doesn't explain the difference in your eyes so?" He rested his hands on his hips as if he were a father scolding a child. However, in this instance, it wouldn't be very intimidating considering he was a shit ton shorter than the man he was trying to draw an answer from.

Lying. What a great way to start their little adventure together. He supposed that it wasn't exactly lying if Nari was indeed fine, simply omitting the truth. There was something wrong and that much was obvious because he could see it. The evidence was as clear as it could be in the dulled light that the captain had created with his magic, and Nari certainly couldn't see it because well, they were his eyes after all, and Caeso was the one staring directly into them. Perfect first moments with each other. From the teasing in the library to him having a fucking panic attack in the man's arms and now this. He prayed it wouldn't get any worse, but he somehow had a feeling that it would.

But, he could ask questions as they walked. Caeso felt he had made it obvious that he was looking for a truthful answer and wasn't going to relent until he was given one he was satisfied with, so there was no point in standing around. He could walk and talk. Besides, they had to move. Even if he was tempted to pin the man down until he was honest with him, there was certainly no time for that. Their little bubble of 'safety' would soon burst if they pushed their luck for too long. Waiting around in the near darkness for Nari to answer him wasn't going to get them very far when it came to the Ezekt situation, and it only allowed the Death God more time to destroy his city and people if they stood down here.

It was why, after a few moments and a pointed stare that he was unaware Nari couldn't see, he turned around and started walking. The sound of his boots hitting the ground echoed off the walls oft he tunnel and only added to the eeriness that the space created. It would have been silent bar the two of them, and the occasional drip of water from somewhere far off in the distance and even Caeso didn't like it. For a man who wasn't rattled by spaces deemed scary in his day to day life, he was beginning to feel a shiver through his spine.

Nari rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. He had half a mind to shift back, end the conversation there and pretend as though he couldn't communicate as a fox. Maybe then Caeso would let up about the whole thing and forget about it once they got to his place. For just the slightest moment, Nari had sympathized with the captain. Held a concern for him that was unexplainable and sudden, but tender enough that he hadn't made a comment about Caeso's breakdown, where he had hid away in the spirit's chest. Still hadn't, actually, even when grilled about a nonissue that had come out of nowhere. That brief concern was forgotten to the wind, enough of it gone that he wasn't going to give the man a free pass and whatever answer he was looking for on a platter.

He shook his head and ran his tongue over his teeth with a false smile on his lips. This was getting annoying. Luckily, Caeso seemed to have given up on stalling, as his footsteps angrily made their way deeper into the tunnel, where the silent as ever spirit trailed behind. The idea of shifting was still sounding appealing. Caeso wouldn't take silence as an answer, though. It was evident in the way he hadn't taken Nari's first, and wholly truthful, answer as the right one. So, he huffed a breath through his nose and muttered, "I don't—What do you want me to say? I didn't know they did that."

A case could be made that he was lying about the entire situation, but Nari wasn't a liar. He wasn't an honest man, but he wasn't a liar—there's a difference. His carefully crafted truths were just ambiguous and truthful enough that it wasn't false when faced with something he didn't want to talk about. Or, he danced around subjects entirely. One couldn't be called a liar if the words were anything but a lie. It wasn't Nari's fault that Caeso seemed to have a right answer in mind, nor was it his fault that he wasn't taking the spirit's answers and accepting them. It certainly wasn't his fault that the captain chose that moment to grill him, when they had more important matters to deal with and discuss.

Every now and again, Nari's footsteps were heard when he found a particularly damp spot on the floor. His ears, as flattened back as they wanted to be in response to his annoyance, twitched around with every minute sound he picked up on. He didn't like it. It felt too easy for them to be cornered. Too eerie. The eye of a typhoon taunting them with safety from the storm. But he did his best to not think about that to avoid being a token of bad luck and kept most of his attention on the footsteps in front of him.

"Well, haven't you looked in a mirror and caught it? How old are you? I find it hard to believe you wouldn't have noticed at some point in your life and therefore you must know they did that. And if so, found out why? So, talk." Caeso had a feeling that no matter how hard he pushed the subject Nari wasn't going to give him an answer. He could hope, he could ask and bug the man as much as possible but he didn't know if he was going to get anywhere with it. Caeso could only hope, but he doubted. He wasn't the best when it came to interrogation tactics but that wasn't going to stop him from trying. Stubborn didn't even cut it when it came to the captain.

Regardless, he was glad that Nari hadn't shifted into his other form. For one, the conversation was filling the silence of the tunnel and the echo of their - his - feet and he wasn't going to cope well if that stopped. Not when his head was racing a thousand miles an hour and he couldn't focus on anything for more than five minutes.

It was filled with thoughts of Nari and those eyes and what the fuck was up with that, which was currently what was at the forefront of his mind and the topic of conversation. But in the back of it, those deaths still played on him. They would remain on his shoulders for a good, long while at this rate. And the guilt of it all felt like invisible chains shackling him to the ground, pulling him deeper into The Under until he was drowning and there was no way out. It only brought up past feelings, past memories, that he knew he was going to have to face when they got to that damned mirror. Half of him was tempted to take as long as possible to get there, but Caeso knew that wasn't going to happen.

The occasional splash that sounded when Nari hit a puddle wasn't doing wonders for his paranoia. Considering Nari was silent otherwise, Caeso couldn't help how his breathing picked up for a moment before he realised it was just the spirit. There was no one else around, from what he could tell. Just them. At least he hoped.

Nari barked out an airy laugh. Oh, he knew exactly why they did that, and he didn't need to look in a mirror to find out. Not that the mirror would be of any help. Either Caeso wasn't catching onto his blindness, or he was playing dumb to goad the spirit into talking. Either way, he sounded like a child using logic to pin an adult down in a lie, when the logic is superficial with no understanding of the situation. It was kind of cute, in a way. Not cute enough for Nari to give him a straight answer. "I'm vain, sweetheart, but not that vain. And I'm 126, not that it matters."

He hummed and decided to try and make some fun out of the situation. Hopping up, Nari took to the air and hovered over Caeso, keeping pace with him just to face him upside down from above—not unlike how they met in the library. There was a smirk on his face, just a little self-satisfied. "Should I be flattered you're so invested in my appearance? Dare I say, concerned?" It was odd that the captain was so insistent on getting an answer to something so subtle that no one else had noticed. Or, at least, didn't care to tell him that there was a difference. Maybe everyone but Caeso had kept it to themselves.

It didn't matter, though, because he knew that the man was just being stubborn after being denied an answer. Nari snickered, just because he could, and moved back to behind Caeso before he got swatted at. As much as he was annoyed with the grilling, he had to admit that it was better than being in the eerie tunnel without anything else to listen to or focus on. It wasn't total silence, he could hear a lot more than just the quiet, but those little sounds did nothing but make him feel more on edge than he already was. Bugging Caeso, annoying him in return, would have to do until they were out and on their way to his humble abode. Idly, the spirit played with one of his arm bands, spinning it around his arm as he stared blankly at nothing while listening to anything that might be a demon.

The headache was only persisting, but the howls and cries for his help slowly faded as they got away from the largest crowd of Ezekt's monsters. Hopefully, once they left, and it was made clear that Nari wasn't going to join in the slaughter, they would stop asking. He really didn't want to deal with constant headaches and Caeso grilling him about that on top of everything else.

Caeso let out a soft noise at Nari's comments and for a second his eyes went wider than they probably should have. He was neither concerned nor invested in Nari's appearance. He didn't care. That was what he kept telling himself, at least. Because he didn't. Not really. It was just because they had been so close to each other in the library that he had noticed the difference when they had been close later on. Surely other people had made that comment before, right? He couldn't be the only one focused on Nari's eyes for one reason or another. If he was over a century old then there must have been at least one person. The fact that he enjoyed looking into the mans eyes was a different story.

Either way, Caeso only frowned harder when the spirit got in his face. Something else, he figured that was going to be a reoccurring trend throughout their time together. He didn't necessarily mind being in the mans space when it was needed, like when he had pulled him down to eye level of hugged him back in his chambers, but hovering in front of him while he walked was just a pain. He couldn't see where he was going when the man was blocking his view and in a tunnel like this he needed to be able to watch his steps. If something jumped out from the shadows and he didn't see or catch it because Nari was in his face then it would most definitely be the spirit's fault. Down here they needed to be as attentive as possible.

As much as he was sure that nothing was going to get in their way or scare the light out of them, Caeso wasn't ready to risk dropping his guard. Not until they were safely out of the city. Even then it probably wouldn't be a good idea to drop his walls too much. They were gong into The Under, after all. The place where adults still feared as much as children did. The one place you definitely did not want to end up after death, especially didn't want to end up there alive and yet that was exactly what they were doing. Marching their way down there to give Ezekt what the God would probably see as a telling off. Not the best situation, and certainly not one anyone would usually choose to be in.

"I'm not concerned about your appearance or your eyes," The captain huffed, turning his head over his shoulder to give the spirit a look when the man moved back behind him, "And I'm definitely not invested in your appearance so you can get that thought out of your thick skull. I just want to know why there was a change all of a sudden. What are you, blind?"

Caeso wasn't exactly making it easy for them to be civil or to get along enough for the entire journey to not be filled with glares and hostile exchanges. Nari found it funny how easy it was to rile the man up, but it would make things difficult if they really did have to be nice to one another or act as though they weren't at odds. A simple joke, which he knew was entirely false, got Caeso all in a huff and defensive, going out of his way to prove it false. Then beat that in with a hammer afterwards. Nari was only having fun with him while trying to take the attention off of his eyes, and it was all harmless. Even him getting into the man's face wasn't that big of a deal, even if he knew that the caption was probably all up in arms about it. Nari could hear everything, the one sense that he relied on the most, even more so than sight when he had it. He couldn't hear anything, and he was on a constant lookout for anything that wasn't a drop of water or the echo of Caeso's footsteps. They were fine.

Nari's step faltered, just for half a second, then he kept going as if nothing was wrong. He cocked his head to the side and let his ears go floppy, employing the puppy eyes as he raced for some way to answer that question without sounding off. Shit. Why did he have to ask that question, out of all of them? Was it rhetorical, or serious? Did the captain get tired of beating around the bush and instead went in for the kill? Nari kept his eyes on Caeso and slowly said, "And why would you think that?"

Not the best response, but it was all he had at the moment. In his defense, it was an odd question to ask when faced with the problem of sudden change in one's eyes. On normal occasions, blindness didn't just happen out of the blue. Unfortunately for him, he wasn't normal, and he really hoped that Caeso didn't pick up on that. But it was starting to look like they were going in the direction that the spirit didn't want them to be going in, and he was losing that battle quite quickly.

He kept walking, trying his best to not act suspicious, but it was hard to focus on following Caeso's footsteps when his mind was racing with all sorts of backdoors to the conversation. Nari cataloged every movement of his eyes, everything that might be considered proof that he couldn't see. Shit. If Caeso decided to test the theory with something that would require sight to know, Nari was fucked. He could bullshit his way through life by hearing and smell and touch, but not everything could be cheated through like that. The spirit's ears twitched, flattening and lifting on repeat in a nervous tic that he didn't realize he did.

Caeso very nearly stopped in his tracks at Nari’s answer, at how slow the man spoke, and as he looked back at him and noted how his ears twitched and flickered, he had a feeling he had managed to - unintentionally - find the answer he was looking for. Because the comment had been nothing more than a passing one with no meaning behind it. A simple expression used every now and then that Caeso had thought everyone was aware of, that it was nothing more than a simple comment. But from the way Nari reacted, Caeso knew that it wasn’t just that when it came to the spirit.

If he was blind, that would explain the difference in his eyes. Why they were dulled and faded, how his ears seemed to twitch and swivel more often as if he was using them to guide his path and not his eyes. The how and the why he was suddenly unable to see was a whole different set of questions he would maybe get to if Nari answered him truthfully. Or, if he passed his upcoming little test to see if he was correct.

“Nari,” Caeso replied, and the annoyance in his voice was replaced by something that was lighter than it had been. Nonchalant, like nothing was wrong, “How many fingers am I holding up?” Came the question. He shifted his arm up, although when he raised his hand as if he was going to show a number, he left his hand in a fist. Nothing, no numbers. If Nari was able to tell he wasn’t holding any up - if he wasn’t blind, he would have no issues. So he figured it was the best way for him to gain the answers he was looking for.

Whether or not the spirit was blind or not didn’t matter to Caeso. Well, not in the way Nari was worrying about. He didn’t know how long he man had been blind for, if this was a recent thing, if it was his whole life, how the hell he was able to see one minute and not the next. But the man had saved a girl from a burning building and if he had done that blind then, well, he could hold his own fine. He wasn’t about to baby him when he could clearly function well enough to go into a collapsing building and save a child.

He didn't see the falter in Caeso's step, but he did hear the slightest hiccup in his pace and heartbeat. Shit. He fucked up. Nari waited for it, the jump—pounce, more like. If the man had even half a mind he would know to jump at the chance that the spirit had unintentionally given him to corner Nari into an answer. Of course this is how it went. If he hadn't thought too hard about the question it wouldn't have been suspicious. Answer, move on, then he wouldn't be anticipating Caeso's response in the silence between them. With the lack of an immediate answer, he knew that the captain was thinking it over and picking apart Nari's words. He wouldn't be this quiet if he wasn't.

What would he do? Caeso was stubborn, matching Nari in bull-headedness to the point where they both locked horns in a standstill until one buckled just enough—like now. He no doubt would want answers as to why Nari was blind, for how long, when it started, how it started. If he said it was Ezekt, he didn't know if that would be enough of an explanation for Caeso, or if he'd have to go into the details about the curse. Nari didn't really care much in terms of discussion, but it was a delicate balance between truth and too much truth. The captain would freak out about Nari being under previous employment to Ezekt, but demand more answers if he kept it vague. And, to top it off, he was already annoyed with Nari. Who was to say that he'd take this chance to scold him for not telling him sooner when it has always been a non-issue. Something about disadvantages and setbacks and so on and such. Already it sounded like even more of a headache.

When Caeso finally spoke, Nari perked up in attention, then immediately settled a flat glare in the captain's direction. "I'm not a child," he huffed, and folded his arms over his chest. Of all things to say, he chose a fucking test? And a childish one at that. He was well aware that his lack of answer was telling enough, and at this point, there was no point in keeping up the ruse.

Nari shook his head and turned his head to the side, lips pulled back in a disbelieving uptilt. Fine. He might as well let Caeso get it out of his system while they had nothing else to do besides walk and keep eyes and ears out for demons. The silence would suffocate at least one of them, and Nari would go crazy from everything else. He didn't enjoy the thought of him being the subject of the day, but it would seem Caeso didn't want to talk about anything else, not even himself. All his friends just died. Cut him some slack. Just a little. Not too much.

Nari's thought process wasn't wrong. Caeso didn't want to talk about anything else. Turning his attention towards himself meant addressing the guilt he was ignoring about the whole mess they were in. Thinking about himself meant acknowledging every pent-up feeling he was currently pushing down as deep as he could get them in favour of focusing on the more important and pressing matters. Even if Nari's supposed blindness wasn't exactly a pressing matter, he would much instead focus on that than the fact that he was ready to burst with the amount of negativity he was holding. He had lost everyone. Everyone but Kia, and even then Caeso didn't know whether she had made it out alive or not. But everyone else? Gone. There was no one else. No one left. Just him.

And he didn't exactly want to think about Ezekt right now, either. They were walking into his territory with nothing more than a shitty riddle, a hunch, and a vague direction in which to go in. He didn't know what was going to happen. Caeso hoped they weren't going to die, although a part of him silently wished he would in order to get out of this predicament, but the chances were slim. Very few, if any, walked out of The Under alive and unharmed. And they were going in to cause a stir and some drama that Ezekt wasn't going to be too happy about. No, so the only thing left to think and talk about was Nari.

The insufferable spirit who seemed to be blind. Well, Caeso at this point knew he was blind considering he was avoiding the question. Anyone who could see would have answered straight away, no matter how stupid his little test was. They still would have said something. Avoiding it all together was nothing but a clear indication that his hunch was right. It was why he lowered his hand so he didn't have to keep it raised the whole time in hopes Nari would attempt to answer. But since he was now the one huffing behind him, Caeso knew that wasn't going to happen anytime soon.

"How long have you been going blind for?" He asked instead. Because Nari clearly hadn't been blind in the library, so something had brought it on. What, exactly, had caused it was a different question altogether. But for the sake of both of them, he wasn't going to ask too many questions. Just enough to get a feel for how it impacted Nari, if he would need anything from Caeso while they were together.

Nari let out a long-suffering sigh, disappointed that he had been caught so early on. And it was his eyes that had given him away. Of all things, the simplest, most out of control aspect of the stupid curse. He could fool anyone into thinking he was fine with a smile and practice, but of course the captain—who supposedly despised him—had caught the subtle physical shift. Y'know, for a man that wasn't invested in the other's appearance, it sure was odd that he had studied Nari's eyes enough while in the dark library to get a sense of what was different during the other time he had been close enough to study them. Then again, he had no idea if it was so obvious and no one had bothered to tell him before.

Might as well get this over with. "In its totality? Ehh, roughly 64 years? Little over half my life. But as of right now…" Nari shrugged and tipped his head back, closing his eyes as he gave up the ruse but felt an onslaught of questions if he answered in any way that wasn't straightforward—which would be every answer he could give. "Library. Not long before we left. I'll last for 24 hours if I'm lucky, and I'd like to keep it that way, so please refrain from being cute, love. I'd like to see again."

The spirit lifted his head again when he caught a hint of a scent on the wind, eyes opening and staring into the void as he tried placing it. Not a concern, which is why he didn't outwardly react, besides the upped attention. Demons didn't smell that way, and it was vaguely familiar. Nari sniffed the air, then rolled his eyes when it finally registered. Sea salt and rum. Of course. He only hoped that the demons caught onto it as well and followed so that he and Caeso didn't have to worry about running into an entire group of them. And, if they were extra lucky, Nari could pass along a message before he left to make sure his whereabouts would be known. He didn't need his friends breathing down his neck if he got back alive, and would much rather they stay in the loop than grill him on going MIA.

"Yes, I could see you when I had you against the wall in the library," he said, smoothly falling back into the conversation and losing interest in the subtle scent. A cheeky smirk settled over his lips as he picked just the right way to piss Caeso off and distract him from that moment of distraction. "In case you were worried."

Sixty-four years. Damn, impressive. Caeso couldn't fault that. He knew that he would go crazy if his sight went in and out. Not exactly the best position to be in when you had to command an army and had hundreds relying on your every order and move. One couldn't exactly fight in a war if they couldn't see the enemy. But then again, Nari was living proof that you could. He supposed it was slightly different, considering he was a fox spirit. His senses were stronger, more heightened than his own, and it allowed him that advantage and one that Caeso didn't have. He couldn't rely on smell or sound beyond that of the basics because he wasn't able to utilise them as well as Nari. The captain couldn't fault that it was impressive.

He couldn't help but wonder why or what Nari had done to be burdened by such a thing. If it was only half his life he would have been able to see before, and if so, what had he done? He wanted to ask, but then again, he felt like he had pushed his luck a little regarding answers. It had taken a mistaken comment to be able to get him this far. At least he was aware. Not that Nari would be getting any change in how he acted because the man could clearly hold his own. They were both over a century old and Nari had dealt with the blindness for nearly half of it. He would be fine.

And regardless of that Caeso's mind was directed towards other things because Nari had essentially called him cute and that was the main thing that was registering. It was why the captain's mouth dropped open and even in the dark tunnel it was clear he was going beat red. Luckily, he didn't have to worry about Nari seeing that which he was more than relieved about, but he was sure that the spirit could tell, "What- what does being cute have to do with anything?" He tried not to let his words sound too flustered but knew that he was failing. Damned fucking spirit, "I'm not- that's not- what the fuck does that even mean?" Because how did the two correlate in the first place?

He was more than aware that Nari was deliberately choosing his words to fluster and rile him up. Get his head taken off the doom and gloom that they had just left behind. And he hadn't been worried about it because he had figured the spirit could see him in the first place. Brilliant, just brilliant. Not fair, entirely not fair.