forum What makes a good death scene?

Started May 27, 2018 by @Paperok

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From the books I’ve read where a character dies/is killed, I think that a death scene (that evokes emotion in the reader) focuses on the little things. Everything fades out, Character A runs over to the dead/dying form of Character B, cries, notices small things, the stuff that was happening kinda fades away, (ex: battle rages on but Character A is immune to the bullets/blades/sounds until an explosion rocks them out of it.) That seems kinda cliche, I know, but molding that example, for example, to fit your story has always worked for me.

Scientific accuracy, if the dying character is killed by a wound or something. I don't want them dying right away from whatever wound they get unless that's an accurate depiction.
Also, definitely all of the things @TurtleOfFreedom said, because the emotional side of a death scene is important, too.

So this isn't really about the death scene but, like, after your character kills another person for the first time, what the typical reaction?

Oooooh boy, I'm glad you asked. There is no one "typical reaction," but I can give examples. I just finished writing this scene from the second draft of my story where the MC has just killed someone for the first time, but because his friend was being brutally attacked, and it was kill or be killed. His initial reaction, of course, is to try helping his friend, but as the events sink in, he becomes increasingly distraught and considers just ending his own life because he has "become part of the cycle" of killing other people. But part of his character is that he has a past as a criminal, but he's never killed anyone before because he thinks it's so wrong. Another one is a character who is a hit-man because he has been forced to do so his whole life; he was born into the Mafia where he lives, and he was very strong and a good fighter, so they made him do these things. First time he killed someone, he was maybe 11 years old and was very hesitant to carry out the act. He was also pretty distraught, and he cried for a while, especially when he learned that the man he killed was a single father to a son.
Basically, there is a huge spectrum of reactions, but usually whoever kills is probably going to be pretty upset about it, at least at first. The long-term effect depends on whether this is a one-time event or if the person goes on to kill more people. Sorry if I rambled a lot and didn't help, but I literally just finished writing about this, so I figured it was a sign.

All of my favorite death scenes are simple and provoke emotion from me. Hero dies during a battle…great, that happens a lot, but what if they slowly die trying to save someone else? What if they forget their on safety in trying to get to a point of recovery, but they instead use up all of their energy to save another life? I don't want a death to be pointless…it has to mean something or tug on the heartstrings if that's what it is

SPOILERS ARE FOLLOWING: YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!!!!
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Think about what fictional deaths have affected you most.
Finnick Odair had just been married, his wife was expecting (and he didn't even know) and his life was pretty crappy after the Games. He was killed in less than a paragraph.
Primrose Everdeen was just a kid, and she was the entire reason that Katniss went through the hell that she did. She wasn't supposed to be there when the bombs went off.
Steela Gerera was knocked down by a ship her brother shot down, and was nearly safe before her rescuer was shot and lost her grip on Steela. It's even more sad when her death eventually propels her brother to madness.
Kanan Jarrus had just rescued his significant other and she'd confessed her love for him when he was killed saving her and their two 'children'. In an earlier season, he was blinded, and in his last scene he regained his sight for a brief moment.

One of the most important parts of a death scene is the reactions of the characters around them. It matters even more than the actual circumstances of the death, in my opinion. Let's take an example from the comment above. The reason why Finnick's death actually didn't affect me (sorry, but it's true) is because the reactions were either blazed through in favor of the next tragedy, or muted and unbelievable. Katniss doesn't react, not really. She thinks about how sad it is for about a paragraph, and then moves on to the next mission. While this isn't unacceptable, because it's war and she doesn't have time to grieve, we see later on that Finnick's wife, Annie, is…perfectly fine. Oh, she's quietly sad, yeah, but Annie's mental state was extremely fragile. The author made it a point to mention that in the narrative. So, why, when faced with the death of her love and the possibility of raising a child without him, why didn't she break down? Why was she okay? If you find yourself questioning the reactions of those around the deceased person, then it's a bit iffy.

Let's think about Primrose. Again, Katniss doesn't really have time to react to her death. However, we finally feel the impact of her death when Katniss tells Prim's cat that she's not coming back. That's when the reality of Prim's death comes crashing down, and you as a reader can finally feel it.

The death scene is not as important as the reactions to that death. Think about the way your character dynamics will be altered because of the missing person. Think about the gaps the death leaves behind. Think about how, if that person was still alive, the remaining characters would have an easier time/be rescued/whatever. Just show how much the death affected them.

Yeah. I liked Mockingjay until the end few chapters when Finnick's death was brushed over, and Prim's.
Another death scene I like is Johnny from The Outsiders. The others know Johnny won't survive his injuries, Two-Bit has a comment about how they could lose anyone in the gang but Johnny, and you see just how deeply his death affects Ponyboy, who tries to make himself and others believe he killed Bob and not Johnny, and Dally, who's driven to committing suicide by cop.

A good way to do death, in my opinion, is to not build it up in the way a movie builds it up. Oh, you've just shown me a picture of you're loved one? Shared your plans for the future? Mentioned you had a little kid at home? All before we step onto the battlefield? Sorry bro, but you've got less than five pages to live before your very quick demise.

Instead, have the character build a relationship with both your main character and the reader. Use those things I mentioned before, just not in quick succession like that with some Joe Schmo. It could be a friend, a lover, some friend that the reader will inevitably get attached to (see Dobby from Harry Potter), and have them be killed dramatically. Make the villain want your hero to suffer, make the character die so they can see it. You could make it like the bomb from Mockingjay, killing someone indiscriminately to show that Death does not discriminate. Kill 'em and kill 'em good, as I always say.

Finally, make the death have an IMPACT! The MC doesn't have to break down immediately, but it can work. Make them fly into a rage, make them catatonic, make them not realize the full impact of what happened until later. Have it come crashing down like an avalanche when something small reminds them of the deceased. You could even make them forget, have the MC go on an arc where the death of someone close to them forces their brain to block out the traumatic memory. Make everyone around them question why they don't remember the death, have the main character fiercely deny it ever happening. Oh yeah, we're getting into the Five Stages of Grief, baby!

Do these, and I guarantee that your readers' heartstrings will be plucked like a lyre each time they read that scene.