Started by @LittleBear group

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@LittleBear group

EMERGENCY HELP NEEDED! So there is a synopsis competition that I'm trying to enter (for a writer subscription box company). But my dumbass just found out about it last night and the deadline is TONIGHT at midnight! By chance you see it today and are able to whip out a full critique/ help me cut out needless information. You would be a HERO!!! AWESOME - #1 Critiquer for all time. I'm a page over the limit.

Erion Uradavi is the fifth and youngest son of the High Lady of Medicine and Chief Midwife, the imitating and cold Straivia Uradavi. As a Pravaci Child, he, along with the children of the other eleven houses, spends his days studying his house’s craft. But as the fifth son, Erion has more freedom to choose his destiny than his peers. Erion and his best friends, the crown princes of the Daronian Diarchy; Solin Seblire of the House of Coin and Jerlorn Deracose of the House of War, spend their time exploring the nooks, crannies, and hidden passages within the Pravaci Palace. The boys yearn to know what lies beyond the walls, but it isn’t until they befriend Eline Camile, the fiery know-it-all heir to the House of Education, that they slip past their guards into Estonie, the capital city.

Armed with sweet bribes for the cart driver and disguised in common clothes, the Pravaci Children sneak into the land they will rule one day. They are met with a rich new world, much more diverse and exciting than within the glittering walls of the Palace. But as enchanting as the city is, it is impossible to ignore the poverty that lingers just out of sight. It’s there, far from the grand libraries and smiling courtiers, that they meet Marielle Jove the daughter of a poor carpenter in the House Vrualti. They all become fast friends and make a pact to meet once a week, but Erion especially is taken with Marielle. He can’t help but admire how strong she is and how her eyes sparkle when they trade stories about their different worlds. However, one week, Marielle doesn’t show. Two weeks pass, then a month, and still no word. The four go searching for her and find in her father’s workshop, trying and failing to complete all of his projects.

In an effort to strengthen diplomatic ties, King Deracose, the King of War had formed coalition forces with neighboring allies. Marielle’s father had been fulfilling his conscription requirements by serving three years in the Lianian Coalition. He was acting as a peacekeeper when a riot broke out and he, along with four of his men died. Marielle had been acting as her father’s assistant and while he was gone, had done small tasks for the Varulti House. But now, knowing that the gratuity from her father’s death was not going to last forever, thirteen-year-old Marielle began to support her family full time. The four, distraught for their friend, cook up a plot to bring her into the palace. Eline, whose mother was trying to find a suitable lady’s maid for her, convinced Marielle to take the position with the promise of much better wages to support her family. Reluctantly, Marielle accepts on the condition that Eline actually makes her work for her pay.

With the help of Erion, Jerlorn, Solin, and Eline, Marielle begins to navigate the complicated hierarchy and politics of the Pravaci Palace’s staff and the Pravaci Court itself. Eline, as heir to the House of Education, spends most of her days pouring over curriculum with her parents and advisors. After a particularly hard philosophy lesson, Eline is complaining to Marielle when Marielle makes an argument that Eline has neither heard nor even contemplated. After presenting the argument to all of her advisors and her parents and receiving the praise for its ingenuity, Eline has an epiphany. Everyone she interacts with – her advisors, her parents, the Pravaci Children, even the Court itself – were all taught by the same books and had their experiences shaped by the same walls. There may have been the odd teacher from an allied nation, but there was no new blood in their ways. Marielle, who had never been in a classroom, was free to make her own argument pulled from her experiences, not just the rote memorization of long-dead philosophers. Eline realizes that the Pravaci Court and Darion as a whole is wasting potential by not educating the lowborn. She asks Marielle to help her fix it but is horrified to learn that Marielle can’t read or write. Eline makes it her mission to teach Marielle so that they can bring education to all people in Darion. While they may be brilliant, it doesn’t occur to them that there might be a reason most of the land cannot write their own names.

While the girls are wrestling with how to change Darion, Erion and the Crown Princes are spending their days sword fighting and preparing for their destinies. Jerlorn must take his father’s place as the King of War and Solin must take his mother’s place as the King of Coin. Erion is content to train with his friends, but his future is more unclear than his friends’. All that he does know for sure is that he wants Marielle in his life. Marielle and Jerlorn have grown close in the two years she has spent in the palace, but as Jerlorn is a Crown Prince and will have to marry some foreign princess, Erion is confident that he can win her over. However, matters are made more complicated when Eline confesses her feelings for Erion. She knows about his feelings for Marielle, but she also knows about Marielle’s feelings for Jerlorn. Eline tells Erion that while she loves him, their friendship is the most important thing to her, she understands that he might need time but she begs him not to shut her out. Erion promises her that he would never.

However, his mother had other ideas. That very same day, he is sent off to study in Stricia. Without enough time to write a letter, he promises himself he will send Eline an explanation the moment he reaches the first Strician port. But they never make it to Stricia. Instead of heading north on the Strician Ocean to the lush and peaceful nation, the ship turns south to the tumultuous desert nation of Lian. Here, he learns that his mother, through her own cunning, has wrestled control of Rionel’s Circle, a powerful and far-reaching brotherhood of assassins and spies dedicated to the god of lies, truth, and punishment. The High Lady Uradavi no longer trusts its’ leader, the Sultan of Secrets, and wants Erion to ultimately replace him. For four years, Erion endures rigorous tests that torture his body and soul. His only solace comes from his partner, Sela, a courtesan in training in Rionel’s Circle’s sister organization – and the memory of Marielle.

Back in Danrion, Eline leads the group in searching for Erion. But after six months of only hearing that Erion had begged the High Lady Uradavi to study abroad, they have no choice but to believe her. Slowly, Eline moves on and the group learns to live without Erion. Marielle and Jerlorn fall even deeper into a forbidden love and Eline and Solin develop feelings for one another. When the Crown Princes turn eighteen, they have to complete their Alliance Tour of the Coalition Forces and they leave Marielle and Eline for two years. As Jerlorn and Solin are out touring with their men, Marielle and Eline are fighting their own battle against half of the Pravaci Court as they try to work out a system to educate lowborn children. The houses that need manual labor, the Varulti and Uradavi Houses among them, are staunchly opposed to wasting manpower in a classroom, while other Houses are suspicious of the Camile House using the guise of education to wrestle more power from the Pravaci Court. The now women manage to convince King Deracose and Queen Seblire of their plans, but it isn’t until the public hears of their intentions that support within the court begins to turn. It isn’t until Solin and Jerlorn return that Eline and Marielle win the approval of the Pravaci Court.

To celebrate the return of the Crown Princes, the Pravaci Court hosts a grand ball. All of the Collation Nations send delegations and eligible heirs for Jerlorn and Solin to choose from. Rionel’s Circle also secures invitations and Erion returns home with Sela beside him. Emotions and tensions are high during the ball as Eline, who is still furious with Erion for leaving without a word, confronts Erion and he has to see Marielle’s connection with Jerlorn. But Erion is not the only one who sees it. Their connection is clear to the entire Pravaci Court and the allied delegations. King of War plays with the idea of letting his son marry for love. He consorts with the other half of the Diarchy, the Queen of War, whom he once loved, about it, and immediately she shuts him down. They themselves had to marry for advantageous alliances, having their sons do the same was not only a century’s old tradition but necessary for the strength of the nation.

Soon after the ball, the King of War and several of the dignitaries from the Strician Ocean’s western coast fall ill. Erion, knowing full well that the illness, the Wasting, is too strategically placed, confronts the Sultan of Secrets and kills him. By killing the Sultan, Erion unwittingly becomes the new leader of Rionel’s Circle. The Wasting rages out of control and sweeps across Lian, Stricia, and the port cities of Darion. Rumors that immigrants are carrying the Wasting spread faster than the disease itself. The King of War’s final decree was that the Princes be allowed to marry whomever they wished, and out of respect, the Queen of War and the Pravaci Court agreed. Erion, still in love with Marielle is intent on stealing her heart. But Eline, still angry at Erion for leaving without a word, tricks Marielle into asking Erion to give both of them away. Erion realizes then that he loves her too much to refuse and that she will never love him in the way he does. Furious at his mother for sending him away, he returns to his childhood home. Mistaking his rage at her for rage at Marielle, the High Lady reveals her plan to place him on the throne, not as one of the diarchal kings, but as the monarch. A plan that requires the ruin of Marielle’s reputation and her death. Erion agrees and immediately starts planning to help Marielle escape. The Uradavi House finds a “cure” life returns to normal.

After the Crown Princes Weddings and Coronations, the new Queens immediately enact their plans to bring education to lowborn children across Darion. However, their plans are halted when Eline becomes an expectant mother and Marielle follows six months later. The night before the birth of Eline’s twins, the High Lady Uradavi, in her role as Chief Midwife, drugs Marielle and pours the blood of an animal sacrifice to Rionel over her lower half. When Marielle awakens she and the entire Pravaci Court believe she has miscarried. The High Lady demands that Marielle is left alone to rest and Erion whisks her away. The High Lady had instructed him to take Marielle to the cliffs and make it look as if she had fallen to her death trying to escape in a days’ time. Instead, he took her to a safe house he had spent the last year securing. The next day, Eline’s twins are born. Two healthy baby boys. Demanding rest for the young queen, Straivia forbids anyone from disturbing her.

A few hours pass when a blood-curdling shriek rips through the Pravaci Palace. The guards burst into Eline’s chambers and find Straivia with a bloody cheek, the young queen with a dagger in her heart, and one of the twins missing. Breathless and hysterical, Straivia manages to pant, “The Queen of War! She’s gone mad! Came in saying it wasn’t fair! How dare the gods curse her and bless the Queen of Coin with two heirs!” Enraged, Solin sends his guard to tear through the countryside, roaring for her head. Jerlorn, blindsided and ready to defend his wife to the last, leads his men on a desperate mission to find her first. With no order from the King of Coin or War, the nation comes to a standstill. Peacekeepers are without orders, houses and labor go unpaid and Darion holds its breath until the “Mad Queen” is found. She isn’t found until six months later, a body bloated beyond recognition with a slit neck and the Deracose signet ring on her finger, floating along the Valto River. The grief-stricken King of War and Coin clashed in a swordfight seemingly to the death, until the royal guards tore them apart.

Half of the nation, hoping for a brighter future for their children blamed the King of Coin’s men for murdering their lowborn queen, the other half, fearing lowborns leaving their stations and threatening their place in society blamed the “Mad Queen” for murdering the “Fair Queen” and dragging the nation down into the filth. The High Lady Stravia calls for a referendum vote on the Kings’ rule. The Pravaci Court votes to remove Solin and Jerlorn from their Kingships and put a Regent of the Realm in place until the two can work together as the Constitution calls for. Each house nominates a candidate for regent from their own house and each house votes for their own candidate. Each house except House Uradavi. Straivia had planned on nominating Erion and using her wiles to secure his victory, but Erion disappeared with Marielle and hasn’t shown his face since. Instead, House Uradavi votes for Reviante Bestolin, the smart but naïve heir to the House of Law – the heir that constantly leans on Straivia for counsel. Straivia, finally, has Darion dangling from her fingertips.

Except Erion still lives and so does Marielle’s daughter and Eline’s stolen son. There are still three heirs in play. And two of them are being raised by the Sultan of Secrets.