forum What Are The Weirdest/Funniest Things You Heard Teachers/Professors Say?
Started by @nebula__ group

people_alt 61 followers

@nebula__ group

This is basically a spin-off of the 'Tell Me Stuff You Heard High/Middle School Students Say' chat, but an edition for quotes from teachers and/or professors. I thought this would be fun to make so- :,)
Anyway, have fun!

@larcenistarsonist group

Oho prepare for a ton of my Spanish teacher:

Spanish Teacher: "For the record, (attractive but stupid jock) worth a lot less than a piece of gum."

showing us pictures of him in Guatemala hiking some big mountain
shows us a picture of a grave with the name Jorge on it and doesn't even talk about it
gets to the last slide of him up pretty high up but not at the top of the mountain
Student: "Did you make it to the top?"
ST: "No, but I made it farther than Jorge did."

ST: " (insert any question in spanish) "
Student: "Yes!"
ST: "NO."

ST: breathing into a microphone heavily
ST: That sounds like the ocean…
ST: Do you know what else is at the ocean?
Students: Fish?
Students: Sharks?
Students: Water?
ST: No.
ST: Birds.

ST: "Who here is wearing expensive shoes?"
Whole class: looks down at their feet
ST: (student 1)! How much have you ever spent on a pair of shoes?
1: Uhh, about 200.
ST: Wow.
1: Ask (student 2) how much he's spent on a pair of shoes.
2: peacefully sleeping in the back of the class
2: Hmm?
ST: What is the most you've ever spent on a pair of shoes?
2: Uh… 448.
ST: You spent four hundred forty eight dollars on a pair of shoes.
2: Uh… yeah?
ST: I want your job. What's your job?
2: Irrigation.
ST: Nevermind.

Deleted user

"Don't play dumb with me I don't want to win."

History teacher: I used to own a pair of bell bottom jeans.
Girl wearing bell bottoms: Oh God.
Teacher: They were purple and yellow plaid.

@ElderGod-Winter-The-Renegade-Legionnaire book

Ah yes. I have some.
Band teacher- conducting peacefully
people miss a few notes, and the unholiest note comes from the trombone section
Band director- stops the band, screeches, throws a tennis ball at the trombones and runs off the stage and come back with a whole bucket of tennis balls and keeps throwing then at the trombones
JROTC Colonel
Me- Hey colonel
Colonel- what do you want
Me- you know you shouldn't be eating that candy.
Colonel- whatcha gonna do to me? I'm a non practicing diabetic. I have no fear of death. And for the love of god let me eat my diabetic candy in peace.
Me- but colonel that's a snickers bar. It's not made for diabetics.
Colonel- proceeds to eat half of it in one bite well good thing I failed English twice. I can't freaking read. proceeds to laugh and throw all caution to the wind

@spacebluelily language

Ag-Bio teacher: I failed algebra three times and look at me, I'm a teacher!
A student: But, why did you fail algebra?
Ag-Bio teacher: Because I felt like it. Because it sucked. Because math is horrible and should be destroyed at all costs. Because Frankie here is an idiot who changes the language on his computer to Chinese to pull a so-called funny prank on all of us. Because I can't believe that all the other people have such good luck with making non-American food.
Me: That went off-topic really quick.

@ElderGod-Winter-The-Renegade-Legionnaire book

This came from a history teacher too
He said and I quote
"Back in the middle ages, losing a child wasn't that big of a deal. They understood that it only took about 5 minutes of effort to make a new one and about 9 months for it to bake. Then poof. A brand new kid. And the process would repeat almost like a printer."