Yo, I wrote some songs a while back (like, 2-4 years ago) and I actually like where I’m going with them, so if anyone wants to rip them apart and tell me how I can make them better (what doesn’t come across the way I mean it to, what just does not make sense, etc.) I would super love that.
Anyway, Here they are:
I'm not an expert but I'll see what I can do
Also, some people can't see images for some reasons so I think I'll go through and type out what I can read, just in case
Oh, cool, thanks. You can simplify it if you want and you don’t have to put in the repeats. You can just say everything once.
Are these all different songs, or different parts to one song?
All four pictures are different songs
I'll be right back, got to eat lunch
That’s cool. I’ll be at rehersals in a few hours and then until late, so
Here's the first song's lyrics in text form
(Verse?)
I thought today
Would be good for a swim
I'll take my time
Walking to the water's edge
Then I'll see how long
I can hold my breath
(Chorus)
Maybe it could be fun
To see how many times
I can fly in the air.
Maybe we can try
To fly away together
(Verse?)
I thought today
Would be good for a dance
I'll stay and wait
For someone to take my hand
Then I'll see how long
It will really last
(Repeat chorus)
(Bridge?)
I'd like to see the world
But dreams don't follow when you wake
So I'll stay asleep forever~
I don't have much to say other than I like the lyrics, they seem well-written but then again my favorite song's lyrics make absolutely no sense
it’s still beneficial info thank you
I really like the lyrics, and I love how you didn't really use words that rhyme but they still sounded somewhat similar (I don't really like lyrics that rhyme constantly lol). However, I noticed that the syllable pattern is a little all over the place? I've heard some songs that break their syllable patterns, but I don't hear it that often, and I feel like it kind of messes up the flow of the song.
Although, I can't really hear the song, and using beats to fill in the space between missing syllables/dragging words out can balance things. But those parts typically aren't written out in lyrics, they're written in sheet music/heard in the songs themselves.
I really like the lyrics, and I love how you didn't really use words that rhyme but they still sounded somewhat similar (I don't really like lyrics that rhyme constantly lol). However, I noticed that the syllable pattern is a little all over the place? I've heard some songs that break their syllable patterns, but I don't hear it that often, and I feel like it kind of messes up the flow of the song.
Although, I can't really hear the song, and using beats to fill in the space between missing syllables/dragging words out can balance things. But those parts typically aren't written out in lyrics, they're written in sheet music/heard in the songs themselves.
Yeah I get what you mean. I don’t usually plan out the rhythm. It for any particular reason; I just don’t think to. And it’s often spur of the moment stuff. But thanks so much for the feedback.
That's understandable. I used to do that too tbh
The "a cupcake won't take the pain away" part confuses me
Lyrics don't always have to make sense. Sometimes they can take a while to figure out, and sometimes they're not even supposed to mean something to the listener. It might just be something that has meaning to the writer.
I'm still waiting for BTS to explain the meaning behind "MIC MIC BUNGEE"
The "a cupcake won't take the pain away" part confuses me
Yeah basically that is in reference to someone who used to manipulate me all the time, and she gave me a cupcake as an apology one day. It’s a comment on how just because you buy someone something or give them something, does not take away the damage done.
I thought it might have something to do with that. I honestly like the lyric, it fits well with the song.
I'm still waiting for BTS to explain the meaning behind "MIC MIC BUNGEE"
OMG ARMY
But same…
There are lots of questionable BTS lyrics.
One of my favorites is "your face is fresh like a salad"
But the one that probably makes the least sense is "I'll be buried under pretty girls as I watch TV, all girls of the world would want me, ready to die"
The second one just sounds like something a rich dude would say. It makes sense, it's just a dicky lyric.