forum Please help with my character!!
Started by @CinnamonRoll
tune

people_alt 8 followers

@CinnamonRoll

Hi! So… I have a character here, and I could really use some constructive criticism! Be as mean as you want–God knows I need the help.

I'm fairly certain she's public. Also, I'm so sorry that the gallery is empty!

@Enzabeth

Hello! I read through it and it DOES sound interesting! I did, however, notice a few things here and there that maybe doesn't make as much sense on paper to others as it does to you. It says that her motivations are Scientific discoveries and loyalty, which is fine, then it goes on to say that her drive to discover often undermines that loyalty even if her friends are at risk. It can seem a little contradictory on paper to those who don't have a firm image of her yet.

Her talents include a master manipulator and decent in battle. You may want to tone one of those two down a smidge just to help her come off as more realistic, but that's up to you. Paranoia is an excellent flaw to have in a character and exploring it can be enthralling if done correctly, but as she is also a manipulator, it sounds a little difficult to pull off considering they are both powerful traits.

Her hobbies sound like a great way to provide softer, slower areas to get to know her in, a way to cool off from what's happening and really get an intimacy with her personality. I'm really quite curious to see how being a priestess AND a scientist comes in to play, sounds really interesting! Her backstory seemed clearly conveyed. Makes me wish she was the main character instead of support, haha! I hoped this helped and I wish you the best of luck! Happy Writing!

bitchwritemeariver

Hey, sorry if you've already thought his through, but the part about being a priestess does feel a bit contradictory on the page. Does she actually believe in the religion? If so, does this limit the amount of science she believes in? Just a little bit of criticism, otherwise I think she feels very well rounded!