forum please critique my lil witches!
Started by @lemon-gummy group
tune

people_alt 63 followers

@sortaslightlysentient group

okay ill give some input as a witch myself :D

  • when you say their race is witch, what do you mean? are these fantasy witches or like wiccans/pagan? (paganism isn't a race, if that's what you're writing about!)

LIZ

  • liz is cute, but you could expand on her flaws and personality a little more
  • why are her favourites what they are?
  • what are her relationships like? what sort of person is she in them? what do they think of her, what does she think of them?
  • more physical description would be good!

FRANCES

  • what does decently short mean? how tall are they?
  • i like the colour scheme!
  • you could flesh out their nature page a bit more (same goes to all of them really)
  • same as liz, expand a bit more on their relationships and personality

CLOVE

  • 88% witch? what does that mean?
  • even if there aren't politics in the world, everyone would still ideally have a belief
  • it seems like his page isn't finished?

PAGE

  • does he have vitiligo?
  • again, how are they 97% witch? how is that determined
  • pls pls flesh out the nature pages!!

overall they seem cute and interesting but it also seems like their pages aren't fully finished. they're not too developed yet, but they all seem like interesting foundations and i can't wait to see where it goes! <3

@lemon-gummy group

okay ill give some input as a witch myself :D

  • when you say their race is witch, what do you mean? are these fantasy witches or like wiccans/pagan? (paganism isn't a race, if that's what you're writing about!)

LIZ

  • liz is cute, but you could expand on her flaws and personality a little more
  • why are her favourites what they are?
  • what are her relationships like? what sort of person is she in them? what do they think of her, what does she think of them?
  • more physical description would be good!

FRANCES

  • what does decently short mean? how tall are they?
  • i like the colour scheme!
  • you could flesh out their nature page a bit more (same goes to all of them really)
  • same as liz, expand a bit more on their relationships and personality

CLOVE

  • 88% witch? what does that mean?
  • even if there aren't politics in the world, everyone would still ideally have a belief
  • it seems like his page isn't finished?

PAGE

  • does he have vitiligo?
  • again, how are they 97% witch? how is that determined
  • pls pls flesh out the nature pages!!

overall they seem cute and interesting but it also seems like their pages aren't fully finished. they're not too developed yet, but they all seem like interesting foundations and i can't wait to see where it goes! <3

oh thank you, this makes sense.

Liz-

I will flesh out her personality a bit more, and her relationship with her friends. and her physical description.

Clove-

'Witch' is more of a physical species. when someone is more human than Witch, they are considered human, and vice versa. also, it is kind of determined like a test in schools, (for example, like the fitness gram.) based on their family's percentages, their stamina/Energy (like, the amount of time/amount of strength they can use in a singular spell, if any, and how much strength it takes from them), and the strength of the cast.

page-
yes, page has vitiligo, but only on his hand. I will clarify that haha.

thank you for your input, this really helped

@lemon-gummy group

'Witch' is more of a physical species. when someone is more human than Witch, they are considered human, and vice versa. also, it is kind of determined like a test in schools, (for example, like the fitness gram.) based on their family's percentages, their stamina/Energy (like, the amount of time/amount of strength they can use in a singular spell, if any, and how much strength it takes from them), and the strength of the cast.

page-
yes, page has vitiligo, but only on his hand. I will clarify that haha.

thank you for your input, this really helped

i did not type "mandatory surname-sharers unit", i typed 'family', i have no idea why it did that

@sortaslightlysentient group

i did not type "mandatory surname-sharers unit", i typed 'family', i have no idea why it did that

ajskjg idk why it's changing stuff to like weird quirky 2014 tumblr language. it's bugging me so much

@lemon-gummy group

i did not type "mandatory surname-sharers unit", i typed 'family', i have no idea why it did that

ajskjg idk why it's changing stuff to like weird quirky 2014 tumblr language. it's bugging me so much

I have updated the characters a bit, although probably not fully finished yet