forum Please Critique My Demon Babs
Started by @Lightningclaw13 group
tune

people_alt 2 followers

@AloeVera groupMentallyImInACottage

Hey! I don't normally critique characters so it might not be much, but here goes, haha

Kaden- First of all, very interesting character! The Nature sidebar is a bit lacking. Yes, a lot of it is explained in the bio, but the personality section is there for a reason. First, why does he hate all humans? He's a demon and he's ordered to kill humans, but is that the only reason why he hates them? His personality and flaws have some interesting traits, but they could be fleshed out a bit more. Maybe try to tie them into his mannerisms and biography. Another note, what is the relationship between his creator and him? At first it seems cooperative, but later on his creator seems abusive. Does this effect Kaden emotionally or mentally as it does physically? How did Talia find him, and how did she recognize him? Kaden was left in the woods with several wounds, possibly leaving him to be unrecognizable, and it's been two years since it happened. Has the event damaged Talia mentally as it did physically? Does Kaden's Sadomasochism effect his relationship with Talia?

Okay, I think that's all I can see, I love the story! Hope this helps, haha

@Lightningclaw13 group

@"Aloe Vera"
It's fine, thank you for doing so! (I'll adress everything you've said as it comes up.)

First and foremost, thanks! I'm glad you think he's interesting!
I do plan on making additions/changes as I write the story so he'll (hopefully) get better with time.
I put this "Hates all humans (except Talia) because they're inferior to demons" as to why he hates humans so much, Talia is kinda an exception to this. He still believes humans are inferoir but Talia held her own against him and didn't try to kill him the next time the met after he tried to kill her.
That'll be explained in the story as will how it affected Kaden.
This is explained on Talia's page but she often runs around that area, but after the incident she was a lot more careful. The event did make her more cautious around strangers but otherwise didn't effect her too badly. Demons don't really change their physical appearence, much less clothes, so he generally looked the same, save for some of his hair covering up the damaged right side of his face.
He hasn't told her and she hasn't found out (As far as I've gotten in the story. Might change it later, who knows?)

Again, thank you! It helped a lot! =D

@AloeVera groupMentallyImInACottage

Yay! I'm glad I could help! Like I said, I don't critique characters often so I wasn't sure if I had actually helped much, haha. But it's reassuring to know that it did help!