forum Charcter
Started by @childoftheuniverse
tune

people_alt 3 followers

@CinnamonRoll

My time has come guys!!!

Top down…

Well, for starts, he sounds cute–what? I didn't say that–

Interesting that he is prejudiced against those he doesn't understand. I think that that's a very human quality. One thing that I would go in depth with–maybe explain his personality type. I totally get how he is extroverted and withdrawn, but maybe specify how. Like, is the extroverted-ness a front? Is he only extroverted around certain people?

Okay, I have a problem–you have two conflicting things, and I love both of them. First, you say he's a pathological liar (which is awesome), then you say that he was forced to lie and steal to survive (which is also awesome?). While these can work in conjunction, one would undermine the other and give it less impact. It would be better to run with one (in my opinion).

One last thing–everything is pretty explained except for his paranoia. Why is he afraid all the time?

Overall–what a character! It's an interesting concept as well as a good setup. I think that just ironing out a few little wrinkles would make him amazing!!

Hope this helps!! :DDD

@CinnamonRoll

Thanks so much! this is the main character for the story I told you about privately, if that helps clear anything up <3

Ofc I remember him!! I'm just addicted to character critiques, so here we are ;P

@joufflucharlie

Looks good! Characters based around the concept of dishonesty as a way of living are ones that I always find interesting (especially considering I made one of my own haha), and with this character in particular, who has a good backstory and motivation for his dishonest tendencies, you've set up a great chance to really delve into the ethics of lying, and how to attempt to turn a person around after they spend a life lying. This characters story seems like it could follow a very comfortable and interesting arc, so major props to you on that!
Prejudice is very interesting! I'm compelled to know more. It almost seems like it borders on hidden feelings of jealousy, another multifaceted trait that I love seeing in characters.
Backstory also has great potential to expand upon his character. The backstory could also use some explanation of specific events in his past that either caused him to become a pathological liar, or perhaps an instance where he utilized his skill of lying.
Minor nips: 1. His appearance is pretty clear, but a few more descriptive words added in conjunction with some of his traits would help the reader really be able to picture him well. 2. Not knowing what universe he lives in and what its "laws" are makes some areas of his character gray or fuzzy, specifically education, politics, and religion. This doesn't really impact the character too much though.
Overall, very good job!! You have a strong character who immediately pulls me in, and who is also interesting enough to follow through an entire story.