forum Character help?

Started January 16, 2018 by @Celestial-B

tune

I've done one of these earlier today but they are just so helpful!
Can you guys give me some feedback on my character? Maybe something you think doesn't make sense or anything I could elaborate more on?

Thank you!

He sounds awesome! As I was going through his file, I was basically reading: 'okay, he sounds really good… nice… love interest and best friend; Lillith, aw snap… FIRE POWERS, PORTALS, DIMENSIONS, AND SWORDS.' Goodness, you've got an award worthy character there!

Hi!! These are basically my favorite things EVER, so here we go…

Top down:

Wait! Wait a sec! I think I helped with the other character you posted earlier (Lilly right??) because this is Grant! I think! Am I right? Sorry that made me WAY too hyped!!

Ok. Real stuff.

First off, I like how his motives match with one of his flaws: being the mom friend. Personally, I don't see this as a flaw, but it can go both ways. (Also, side note: I love how you have a male mom friend! That's so pure!!) I also love how you added that his mom makes him cook. That little note adds a bit of depth to your character. Just a couple things that don't quite add up: I don't entirely understand his prejudices? It doesn't seem like a prejudice to think it's okay to be anxious. Maybe you meant something else and I misunderstood. (Sorry if I did!) Also, you mention his motherly nature, then say that he's a bad brother. This doesn't make much sense. Like, yeah, siblings, I totally understand, but…it's just an inconsistency.

Woop!! Magic backstory!! Yasssss!!!

LOVE the backstory. It perfectly explains his motives and flaws, with just enough depth. Like, it's virtually perfect to the character.

YASS I WAS RIGHT LILLY XD

Okay, overall: Strong character for sure. I'm so glad I got to meet him!! Am I allowed to be proud? Because that backstory fills me with pure, unfiltered hype. It's also accurate to what happens to kids of divorced parents (research is God). Super happy with Grant and I hope you are too!!

Hope this helps!! :DD

I'm really liking Grant! His personality is super solid and believable. Also, his physical description sounds adorable lol I feel like he's a character I could totally get into and root for! :)
There was one thing in his description that left me a little confused. He is described as being motherly, but he also is described to be a terrible big brother. This kind of clashes. Maybe you could elaborate on their relationship to clarify?
Otherwise, Grant is a fantastic character! He has an interesting backstory and he literally seems so realistic I'm blown away. Hope this helps :)
Happy writing!
Grace <3

Hi!! These are basically my favorite things EVER, so here we go…

Top down:

Wait! Wait a sec! I think I helped with the other character you posted earlier (Lilly right??) because this is Grant! I think! Am I right? Sorry that made me WAY too hyped!!

Ok. Real stuff.

First off, I like how his motives match with one of his flaws: being the mom friend. Personally, I don't see this as a flaw, but it can go both ways. (Also, side note: I love how you have a male mom friend! That's so pure!!) I also love how you added that his mom makes him cook. That little note adds a bit of depth to your character. Just a couple things that don't quite add up: I don't entirely understand his prejudices? It doesn't seem like a prejudice to think it's okay to be anxious. Maybe you meant something else and I misunderstood. (Sorry if I did!) Also, you mention his motherly nature, then say that he's a bad brother. This doesn't make much sense. Like, yeah, siblings, I totally understand, but…it's just an inconsistency.

Woop!! Magic backstory!! Yasssss!!!

LOVE the backstory. It perfectly explains his motives and flaws, with just enough depth. Like, it's virtually perfect to the character.

YASS I WAS RIGHT LILLY XD

Okay, overall: Strong character for sure. I'm so glad I got to meet him!! Am I allowed to be proud? Because that backstory fills me with pure, unfiltered hype. It's also accurate to what happens to kids of divorced parents (research is God). Super happy with Grant and I hope you are too!!

Hope this helps!! :DD

Yep! :D Lol i'm glad you got excited by that xD

Yeah it can go both ways, sometimes it is a flaw because he can be a little too much of a momma bird lol.

Ah that is true, I guess I didn't think that prejudice all the way through, i'll fix it though!
And I worded it badly lol, I meant that his younger brother thinks he is a terrible brother because he is overprotective of him. I just fixed it!

Yuss magic and backstories are my life so like 5/6 of my characters have magic incorporated into their backstory >:D

I'm proud with other peoples characters, that happens to me a lot lol. Thank you so much for the help! :D

Thank you everybody! You helped a lot! :D

For starters: Grant is FANTASTIC name, great job in that department
I love how in depth you went with his flaws, I feel like character flaws never get the attention they deserve because people always think the paint the character negatively, but you taking the time to flesh out flaws and give them a history makes a much more intricate and interesting character!
Backstory is also amazing!

Wow. Grant is a very detailed character. I love him! Couple things though:

1. Does Grant have a last name?
2. I love the fact that you described him as "white" in two different places XD
3. I love the thing about him running his fingers through his hair. I think it makes him feel much more real.
4. I do find that the last line under his flaws section is a tad melodramatic and I think I should warn you that that concept of building a wall around oneself is a bit overused. Other than that though, his flaws section is really good! I like how each of his flaws has an explanation or a reason behind it and they all seem to back each other up. It feels believable that a person would have all of these flaws at once and it doesn't seem overdone. I think the way you say it as cause/effect shows how it all relates and why it all works/is relevant so it seems less like you're listing a lot of things and more like you're explaining a real person to someone who doesn't know them.
5. I think it's funny how you put this part under his talents—that he's "strangely good" at cooking and baking. XD
6. I love that being an over-protective brother is one of his hobbies.
7. The way you described his swords is very detailed "two medium length normal swords". (Yes that was a joke no it was not meant to come across as mean Grant is beautiful and so are his two medium length normal swords he fights with. Wow okay I'm just coming off as mocking and sarcastic now it's not intentional I promise).
8. Again, holy cow Grant's backstory is so detailed and it explains not just what happened to him but who he is. I love it. One thing though—you say in the first sentence, again with such beautiful detail—"Grant grew up in a nice house with nice parents"—when earlier you said his parents fought a lot. Their fighting must have had a pretty big impact on his life for him to think that all parents fight like his did. Maybe some more info on his parents? Right now I kind of feel like I'm getting conflicting messages about his home environment.

Grant is fantastic and so are you. I wish you the best of luck writing your story!