forum Character Feedback
Started by Rory
tune

people_alt 2 followers

barabara

Hello! I'd love to help.
First off is Hana, I really like her solid motivation, but there are a few things that can be built on. For her looks, instead of saying she is practically flawless, she could have a birthmark or another scar which she hides under clothing. This could build into her personality and insecurities, and develop her a little more. I really like her background and the way she's built into her own individual character. One thing that could be developed is her mannerisms. I think what you have is great, but you could build on it by thinking about what she'd do in various social situations. Is there a habit she has? Is there something she says a lot? Otherwise, I think you have a really solid and interesting character.
Moving on to Noriko, her personality is humorous and she'd make for an interesting character. I honestly think that making her too developed will ruin her quirky and interesting personality. I like to think of her as a Han-solo. Although Han-Solo isn't as developed, he can roll as an interesting part of the plot and storyline. Since she's the main character, though, I think she might need stronger motivations than a side-character. These would have to be repeated throughout the story to remind the reader why they're reading and what Noriko is striving to get or become. This would help Noriko become a believable character.
Last but not least there is Veronica. Her overall personality parallels Noriko's really well. If anything, consider giving her and Noriko more of a difference in surface traits. In a lot of ways, she and Noriko are really alike besides the fact that Veronica is struggling against depression. This is the character to really delve deep into and develop more. Learn her deepest secrets and who she strives to become. Understand her fears as if they were your own. Once Veronica is more developed she can complement Norkio, who is more undeveloped, and Hana can be a medium in between the two. Another thing you can find out while developing Veronica is how her depression affects her everyday life. How does it change the way she thinks? How does it change the way she sees things?
Overall, I don't think your trio is rudimentary at all. They all have much potential to be great. I hope my advice helps!