I awoke the next morning to a sound similar to weed-wacking. My ears were wacked with the sound of it.

I grumbled, pulling the covers over my head, trying to drown out the noise. Then I was startled to feel something touch my blanket from outside.

I gasped and pulled the blankets away. To my astonishment there was a muddy looking goat standing next to me, one of its front hooves resting on my blanketed body. It was munching something yellow and I could see now that this was where the sound was coming from.

“Yer up!” Chewy said excitedly.

I turned to see her a few feet away from me, making what looked to be a fire on a marble plate on the ground.

“who’s this?” I asked, gesturing to my new found companion.

“Bob.” She said, looking back to her plan of destruction.

“Why is he here?” I asked, growing more uncomforttable as Bob stared listlessly, chewing still, like white noise.

“he wanted chips” she said disintresdtedly. I watched as she struggled to rub a stick and a stone together, as if that would do anything.

Then Bob bleated suddenly. He appeared to have finished his crunchy snack and was now incredibly upset.

“Um. You know you can just use magic right?” I said, looking at her desperate attempts of fire making.

She smacked her forehead. “Ha. Oh right.” She laughed before mumbling an encantation.

Then an open bag of chips appeared before Bob, which he devoured.

She continued rubbing the dry stick and stone together fruitlessly.

I decided to ignore this and continued,

“What time is it?” I asked, rubbing my eyes. I could see the dim glow of sunlight through the blanket fort roof. So it was at least morning.

“Idk. Everybodys gone I think” She said, eyes closed in concentration, her face turning red.

“That’s odd. I wonder where they could have gone. It can’t be hogsmeade already can it?”

“Pfft” she laughed, “Hogs never drink before nightfall. Everybody knows that”

“Oh, right.” I said sheepishly. Chewy always knew so much. She wasn’t a wizard prodigy for nothing.

I felt a tug at my blanket. Bob had taken a liking to it; he munched happily. I didn’t try to recover it from him. It was a sacrifice I was willing to make. As long as he let me live.

Chewy finally threw her tools down in frustration.

“drat” she grunted, “I can’t make the void appear again” She sighed, and started eating the stick like a chipmunk eats acorns.

“Why do you want the void to appear again?” I asked, shivering now from the cold.

“Just wanted to ask it some questions is all” She muttered, flecks of wood speckling her lips.

“Do you think that’s where everyone went?” I asked again, “into the void?”

“Uh maybe… It wasn’t really on my mind” She said shrugging.

“Ok” I said, then yawned. It felt earlier than I usually woke up. I wished I could go back to sleep, but Bob’s creeping presence made that difficult.

I started suddenly, realizing in that moment that Gristle wasn’t with me. I woke up most mornings to Gristle breathing heavily, sitting on my face, attempting to suffocate me. But he was nowhere to be seen this morning.

“Chewy! Did you see where Gristle went?”

She looked up, “Yeah. He looked like he had some business so I left him alone. Went thataway” She said pointing to the door.

“Thanks” I said quickly, getting up. Oof, it really was chilly.

“Yo, before ya go. Do you by any chance happen to know how to conjure the void?” She asked, licking her lips clean.

“Um, maybe check the library.” I said, running to the door. I heard her grunt, before I left.

I couldn’t find gristle anywhere. Not the corridors. Not the Library (but I did find Chewy there speaking to a dark presence and eating cornflakes). Not the Dining hall.

Maybe it was forbidden or something but I didn’t care. There was a chinchilla in need; rules didn’t matter now. I broke into the Slytherin house-it was the only place left I could imagine gristle to be.

Standing in the common room of the house was a tall, darkly dressed masked figure. He sneered when he saw me, raising a red tinged knife,

“Wizard scum. Don’t even think about screaming you little-”

I pushed past him, ignoring him. This was no time for small talk. I had to hurry!

“Gristle! Gristle! Where are you buddy!” I called desperately. He didn’t answer. But I didn’t take that to heart since he was a chinchilla.

“Did you seriusly just-” The man asked, raising his voice.

“GRISTLE! Please tell me you’re ok!” I shouted, running up the stairs to the dorms.

I heard footsteps behind me. I could never escape small talk could I? Ugh.

“No thank you. I am very busy right now!” I called down, opening the dormitory door.

But he persisted, angry now it seemed.

I threw the covers off the beds frantically searching.

“Come on Gristle you have so much to live for! So many people to terrify!” I cried, feeling hot tears now running down my cold cheeks.

Then the stranger was there, his mask falling below his nose. He had a bony nose I now realized. Kind of reminded me of a steep cliff’s edge.

He swore, “You brat!” He yelled, eyes wide, I saw a vein on his head pop and squiggle like a little worm on a rainy day.

I smiled. Worms were nice.

“I’ll show you!” He lunged. Just then I noticed something grey out of the corner of my eye. It was Gristle.

“My boy!” I shouted, running the other way. The stranger fell hard onto the wood floor, cursing.

Chewy glared at me. Displays of affection were strictly prohibited by him. I composed myslef.

“It’s good to see you Gristle sir. I hope you are well” I said, nodding my head in a slight bow.

Gristle didn’t kill me. He was no longer angry I guess.

He hopped onto my shoulder then and we were reunited.

The stranger had gotten up then and was now barreling towards us with alarming speed. His nose was bleeding now, which kinda messed up my cliff imagry.

“aight time to head out” I said, and teleported me and Gristle to the library. Chewy was still there but the ominous presence had left.

“Ya found him. Nice” She said gesturing to Gristle. She was putting a book back onto the shelf. It didn’t look as if it belonged on that particular shelf at all. It was tattered and dusty looking, with a dark velvet cover inscribed with ancient inscriptions. The rest of the books looked like normal library books.

“Yeah. It was easier then I thought it would be. I’m glad I found him so quickly. By the way, how did your summoning go?”

She shrugged, “Just as you’d expect”

“What’d you ask the void?” I questioned, raising an eyebrow.

“What the meaning of life is” She said, giving the book a good pat and then turning to face me.

“And what did he say?”

“Dunno. I zoned out, thinking about barbecued wings.” She said, looking disappointed but also smiling at the thought of food.

“I’m sure it wasn’t that important” I said, trying to comfort her.

She shrugged once more, then looked at me quizzically.

“Is today Saturday?” she asked suddenly.

“Yeah why?”

“Good. We don’t have any classes then. She grunted happily.

“Doesn’t look like we have any teachers or classmates either” I said, biting my lip.

“All the better” She said and began to whistle merrily.

“You’re always so positive Chewy. I really appreciate that about you” I said grinning. Chewy was the best friend I could have ever hoped for.

“Nah. I’m just realistic” She said. She was modest too. “Say, do you want to go fool around with the potions in the potions classroom?” She asked me, winking.

“Wouldn’t that be against the rules?”

“There are no rules when everyone is mysteriously gone.” She said smiling, giving me an eerie feeling that she might have been involved in the disappearence.

“Chewy,” I ventured cautiously, “Did you have something to do with the disapperence?”

She squinted for a second, thinking, then counted on her fingers, mumbling, “Nah, not this time” She said finally.

I breathed a sigh of relief. Of course she didn’t. Chewy was always such an angel. She was even the top student in the school. Though she was far too modest to ever mention it.

“I’m a wizard not a magician” She said, huffing offendedly at me.

“You’re an angel” I said, my voice warm with adoration.

She looked at me with digust, as if I had just sprinkled ranch onto her nicest coat.

“I am not an angle. I don’t even know anything about math” She said indignantly.

“Thats ok.” I assured her. Her face softened.

“So you wanna go or naw?” She said gruffly.

“I wanna” I said cheerfully.

Then we both went on our merry way to go wreak some havoc.

Sunday

With only Whopping cheddar cheese chips™ and fountain water to survive on, we were getting pretty hungry. It had been a full day since everyone had mysteriously disappeared, and the only person we had seen aside from each other was mr. stranger danger.

“I wish the dining hall was open again.” I whined to Chewy, “I miss overcooked spaghetti and limp meatballs”

Chewy only glanced at me, she couldn’t hear me of course over the sound of the cheddar cronching in her mouth.

“I even miss Lula Draemer spitting her food at me and laughing. It always made lunch so lively” I sighed.

“Everytime she spits food at you I think of llamas” Chewy confessed.

“I think of april showers” I admitted back.

“Huh. I don’t get what’s so special about showering in april” Chewy said, opening another bag of chips. I had lost count of how many bags it was now. Too many.

“I like them. Everything is beautiful in April.”

“Mmf. I never shower anyways..” Chewy continued, “I prefer to let the heavens decide when I will next be clean.”

That made sense. She was always stinky. Today she looked like a crumpled up paper bag and smelled of molding semosas.

“What should we do today?” I asked, changing the subject.

“Dunno. Maybe we should save the world...Ow!”

“You ok?”

“Yeah just got sliced by a crunchy chip” she said, wincing.

“Does the world need saving right now?” I asked, opening my own bag of chips. I had to fight to keep them from Bob. Plus a share of my chips were taxed by Gristle.

“Always does. As long as the world is alive there will be villains.” She replied dully, flicking a chip towards Bob, who lept wildly toward it.

“Ok. What do you have in mind?” I asked her, trying to dust the crumbs off my mattress. I hated sleeping in a dirty bed.

“Mm we could rob a bank” she suggested, “Aw man. I could really use some waffles right about now…” she muttered to herself.

“How would that help anyone?” I asked, almost questioning her motives.

“It would prevent more malicious characters from robbing banks. We wouldn’t want that money to fall into the wrong hands.”

“That makes sense.” I said, nodding. Chewy was very sensible, I had to admit.

“Actually on second thought, lets go to a wafflehouse, I am too tired of thinking to rob a bank” she said lazily. There were now chip crumbs all over her chest and legs.

“What about saving the world?”

“Ah maybe later” she said off-handedly. Shooing the thought away with a wave of her hand.

Chewy magicked some money for us a few moments later.

“Isn’t that illegal?” I asked.

“I dunno. I don’t read the laws” she said simply.

“Why not?”

“Too many.” she grunted.

That made sense. I never read the terms and conditions before I agreed to things so I could understand that.

Then we made our way to the wafflehouse.

Chewy did not merely want waffles. Chewy wanted all the waffles. Her plate was piled so high It could have become a national monument.

I myself had three waffles. It was all I could handle. I was weak.

“How goes the waffles?” I asked, as Chewy proceeded to attack her waffle tower ferociously.

“Oh they are going alright” She said grinning evilly, syrup dripping down her chin.

Now she had a syrup beard, I thought to myself. It was like she was an aged waffle, sweet and wise.

Then a stranger came up to our table. An average guy, with an especially average face. He looked to be a teenager. He smiled at me before speaking,

“Hello girls, mind if I join you for brunch? My date stood me up and it seems rather sad to eat alone”

“Touch me waffle and die” Chewy threatened, her gaze sharp as a tack.

He ignored her and looked to me hopefully,

“Whatever.” I said, looking to see if Chewy objected, but Chewy had turned her gaze back to the never ending waffles.

He smiled once more and then moved to sit beside me. He smelled kind of like clean socks, which was weird.

“You look lovely” he said to me suddenly, his eyes cast my way. He leaned towards me, making me choke on my bite of waffle.

“Eh?” I choked out through the waffle in my mouth.

He leaned back,

“What? I can’t point out the truth? Come on” He said cheekily.

I took another bite of waffle, avoiding his stare.

“I’m afraid you are under some delusion” I said, eyes watering from choking.

“Oh I don’t think I am” He said purring like a cat. (I suddenly didn’t like cats now)

Chewy looked at us both, obviously confused, then asked,

“You in love or something?”

“With a hot hot lady oh yeah!” He said, in an uncomfortable tone.

And then suddenly. I realized. This averagely average guy who smelled of fresh foot laundry, was the most handsome man I had ever seen.

I had to look at him, and stare into his eyes, for he was so handsome. I turned to look at his glorious face.

“Wow” I uttered in disbelief.

A smile crept slowly onto his gorgeous face.

“I must tell you how utterly beautiful you are and in every way how you enchant and posses my soul” I whispered to him.

“If you must” he said, looking away in mock disintrest.

“It is hard to start, to begin painting the tapestry of your beautiful figure, for it is so otherworldy. But I must start I must! With your eyes or your skin first! Ahh I am torn! Your eyes, your eyes I will. Your eyes are shaped like plump tomatoes, round and smooth, almost ripe.”

His face tensed slightly, and a look of puzzlement came over him, but his smile remained unwavering.

“Your skin is fair and white like a dead fish, scaly and moist, breaching the shore of a lake.”

His lips tugged downwards. Chewy watched on, shoving more waffle into her mouth.

“Your hair reminds me of green onion a few days old, slimy, limp and cold, but so fresh.”

“what in the worl-” he began to say,

“Hush now love. I must go on, I cannot contain my prose. My undying affection for you is concealed in these words… As I was saying. Your nose is like a wooden wedged door stopper, straight and firm. Your lips are like swollen cysts, red and pulsing- so hard to resist. And your teeth, oh your teeth!” I wept suddenly, but regained my composure. I couldn’t be silent when he was so beautiful, someone had to proclaim it, “Your teeth are like hard blocks of cinder, bleached and shining. I wish I could keep them forever.” I said, reaching my hand towards his mouth, he flinched in disgust and fear, “Oh but I mustn’t! For then how could you seduce me with your chewing?! Oh my love there is nothing I don’t love about you! Even your ears look like they have been sculpted by a sculpter! They are like bowls for soup! Warm and round!”

“Stop this you freak!” He said suddnely, pushing me away from him. My love...was repulsed by me. I could not contain my tears. I wailed loudly in the wafflehouse. Truer tears had never been shed.

“Ugh just take the antidote already!” He said shoving a vial of green liquid towards me.

“Will you love me if I do?” I sniffed. I could barely even see my handsome darling through the blur of tears.

“No-Yes! Just shut up and take it you psycho!”

I drank it willingly. All I wanted was the love of this shining prince.

Then I wiped the tears out of my eyes and was stunned to see that his handsomeness had been wiped away with the tears. He was just a plain jane now. Even a bit ugly.

“How do I look to you?” He asked me impatiently, obviously more than irritated.

“Like honestly?” I asked wincing.

“Yes honeslty!” he shouted.

“Like you work the night shift at walmart” I said, still wincing.

“Is that a compliment?” he asked, eyes widening in fear.

“Not today it isn’t, sorry”

He breathed a heavy sigh of relief then glared at me and said in a strained voice,

“I never want to see your face again you freak, you got that?”

“Sounds good to me” I said giving him a thumbs up.

He growled at me and then huffed before walking away, fast.

“So do you like him back?” Chewy asked, licking her plate.

“Nah, he’s not my type.” I said, shrugging.

Monday

I woke to Bond James crystle like eyeball staring into my soul.

“Hi” I said quietly, my voice muffled under the blanket.

“You look just like my Aunt Edna!” he exclaimed suddenly, hopping up, “It’s a shame she died of mad cow a few years back”

“Don’t you mean Mad cow disease?” I corrected.

“Naw, she got whalloped by a mad cow on a rampage one day out in the fields. Grandpa Joey always did tell her not to stand out in the field with her bright red morph suit. She was just taunting old billy at that point- that was the cow’s name.”

“I’m sorry for your loss” I said, hoping I sounded sympathetic.

“Aw don’ worry about it. She ended up giving billy a concussion when he rammed into her. That old ham wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. I’m sure she is content with her passing.” He said, looking up wistically as if he could see the red outline of his Aunt in his memory.

I decided to change the topic. I was curious to see what everyone had been up to over the weekend, since they weren’t at the school.

“What did you do over the weekend?” I asked.

“Nuthin much” he replied shrugging his shoulders. I watched as he fiddled with a tag at the end of my blanket. Bond always had a lot of restless energy.

“I found a nice hat like my old one. Didn’t buy it though.” he said distratedly.

“Oh? Why not?” I probed.

“Cuz it were the colour of me Mama’s Sunday oatmeal.” he said, frowning at the memory.

“Seriously?! You’re not going to tell her about the hostage situation?!” some other dusty looking kid said from a few feet away.

“Oh yeah! I did get held for ransom the past few days! Weren’t quite as interetin’ as one might ave expected tho. Nothing but mouth-waggin’ and rules and city hoodlums trying to make us get the heeby jeebies if ya know what I mean” He sighed.

“Aw, maybe it will work out better next time” I said, moving to give him a comforting pat on the shoulder.

“Yeah, hope so”

“y’all are nuts I swear…” the dusty looking kid complained. I might add that his voice sounded like a water-damaged clarinet.

“What kind of nut?” Bond asked, his voice glazed in curiousity.

“The stupid kind” the kid said, wrinkling his nose.

“Like cashews? I always thought they looked a little dumb. They look like a bean, but they’re not a bean, they’re a nut. Stupid.” Bond said, the frustration of such a concept visible on his face.

The dusty kid did not respond anymore. Why should he? The question had resolved itself.

I looked around to see if I could see Chewy anywhere, but she must have left for breakfast already, for she was nowhere to be found.

“Wanna go to breakfast?” I asked Bond suddenly. He turned to face me, it was weird now when he did that since I could actually see his face. And it was strange to see him hatless, it was like talking to a teacher outside of the school building.

“Sure thang” he said, smiling.

I actually hated breakfast food but I always felt excited to go for some reason, and today was no different. I decided to have some hashbrowns and bacon for my meal, and a tall glass of apple juice. I had a difficult relationship with apple juice tho unfortunately. Apple juice was sweet and cold which I loved, but it always made me thirstier than before. It was viscious. No doubt the makers of apple juice designed it this way so you would be addicted to that sweet and salty beverage of theirs.

Chewy was at breakfast already, as I had suspected. I was surprised to see she was already sitting with someone else today (Chewy wasn’t exactly a class favorite).

I didn’t say anything, I just stared at him as I sat down. He was a boy our age, maybe a year older, with tan skin and dark hair. He looked kinda boring tbh.

Chewy didn’t feel the need to explain, so I talked to her like I usually did in the mornings.

“How’s your morning going?” I asked her, stabbing my bacon with my fork.

“Not enough cows” she grumbled back.

“Oh.” I replied a little uncertainly, “What would you do if there was enough?”

“Eat em. What else could I do?” She asked me, squinting indignantly.

“Fair enough”

“Did you finish the project that’s due today for potions?” I asked.

“I ain’t got time for stuff like that” she huffed, looking away.

I was getting the feeling that she was upset, but I couldn’t tell why.

Then Bond appeared beside us and sat down at our table.

“Who’s this kid?” he asked, pointing a finger at the new guy.

“My name’s-” He started, but Chewy interuppted him,

“That’s my boyfriend Jorje” she said, spooning scrambled eggs into her mouth.

“um yes…” he mumbled uncomfortably.

“Oh, I didn’t kow you had a boyfriend” I said, surprised and a little disappointed she hadn’t mentioned it to me before.

“Congratulations on the partner, partner! When’s the wedding?” Bond asked, putting his hands on his hips and grinning.

“Dunno” Chewy responded, shrugging her shoulders disintrestedly.

“Wedding?” Jorje asked nervously, more to himself than to the group.

“Back where I’m from we’d have a wedding every week, jolly good times they were- Right until old drunk Aunt jenna would get too buzzed from the wine. They didn’t call her old drunk aunt Jenna for nothing you know.” Bond said looking back on the memory fondly.

“Sounds like it was fun” I told him.

“Oh it was. Ain’t nobody know how to play a fiddle like cousin Kavin”

“Hey is it hot in here or is it just me?” I asked, suddenly realizing a rise in temperature in the room.

“I dunno. I don’t feel things” Chewy said, raising her eyebrows.

“Nothing compares to the southern heat!” Bond said, triumphantly for some strange reason.

“Now that you mention it it is kinda hot…” Jorje muttered, fanning himself.

The temperature was surely rising. It must have gone up at least 4 degrees in the last few minutes, it had to be at least 26 degrees in here now, maybe more.

I could see some of the other students around us growing uncomfortable too, some sweating even.

I wish we didn’t have to wear these comically long robes everwhere we went.

“I think I’m going to go outside, its too hot in here” I said, feeling a drop of sweat drip down my back.

“Aw c’mon. Don’t let a little warmth scare you away” Bond said, smiling threateningly. I had never heard him pressure someone before, least of all me. But he couldn’t help that he was southern and had that southern strength.

27 degrees now.

“Nah I can’t stay” I said, getting up from my seat. I saw another student, probably with social anxiety look up at me enviously from a distance.

I was getting anxious now; I hated the heat. I wanted to leave the room as soon as possible. I waved goodbye to my friends before walking briskly to the large closed doors of the dining hall.

But to my surprise, they were locked. I was always scared of breaking doors that were locked, even though I had noodles for arms, so it took me a few minutes of trying before I really gave it my best effort. But it was no use, it was really locked.

29 degrees now. It was so hot.

I could hear some other students nearby complaining about the heat at their table. I was glad I wasn’t the only one who noticed it.

But I was scared now. I didn’t want to stay here any longer, and the fact that the doors were locked was alarming to me.

Then Jorje was behind me,

“May my Hispanic mother forgive me, but this heat is unbearable”, he said, wiping his brow.

I wished I had something, anything cold at that moment. I really hated the heat.

Then I had an idea! I could go buy a cold slushee at the canteen!

Without saying a word to jorje (for time was of the essence) I ran past him to the canteen.

That first sip was indescribable. So I won’t describe it. But I will say this-it was really good.

Then I noticed something strange: through the window of the hall I could see what looked to be the tongue of a flame licking the window.

Without a second thought I began walking over curiously to the window, to get a closer look.

It was fire! And it seemed to be getting higher slowly. That wasn’t a sight you see every day!

Now back to figuring out how to get out of this oddly hot room.

There was another door nearby leading to the outdoors, so I tried that one as well, but to no avail.

There was also windows, but they were impossibly high up.

The only thing left to do now was find a corner to cry in.

But just then I was met by Chewy. Her face was reddening in the increasing heat and sweat trickled from her brow, but she didn’t seem to notice it.

“Thought you said you was leaving pal” She said, in her familiar husky voice.

“Yeah I’m trying to. But all the doors are locked for some reason” I replied in frustration.

“Maybe its to keep the heat in.” She said, unwittingly but also wittingly.

“Maybe you’re right!” I exclaimed suddenly, “Someone is turning this hall into a giant easybake oven!”

She nodded in agreement.

“But who would do such a thing?” I asked, looking into her eyes.

“Idk somebody who likes to bake I guess” She said shrugging her shoulders.

The heat was getting intense. It was becoming a little hard to think clearly.

“Where’d you get that?” Chewy asked pointing to my slushee.

“At the canteen” I answered, pointing at the big sign overtop the canteen that read CANTEEN in large letters.

“Huh. Never noticed that” she said, turning to where I was pointing.

I could feel myself getting groggy… I wanted to take a nap…

“You ok there corn dog?” Chewy asked looking at me with concern.

“ah idk. Im just feeling kinda sleepy. I want to go back and rest more” I said, rubbing my eyes.

“You’re so sweaty if you take a nap right now I’m afraid you would sizzle and pop like a piece of bacon frying” Chewy said, chuckling.

“Thanks Chewy…” I muttered.

30 degrees now.

“Huh, its a little hot now dontcha think?” Chewy said suddenly.

“Um yeah” I said, wiping the sweat off my face.

Then Bond was beside us, grinning like the happy idiot he was.

“What y’all up to?” He asked, doing a lil country bow.

“Dying” I said, my eyelids feeling heavy now.

“Gee, that sounds rough” Bond said, wincing sympathetically.

Chewy only shrugged her shoulders, giving me a what-can-you-do look.

Gristle squeaked in what can only be described as a laughing manner.

I sighed. I was probably too young to die, but the cafeteria was a cruel adversary, and hotter than a hot pocket.

“Cheer up bud. Every time someone smiles a goat is born somewhere in the world” Bond assured me, patting my shoulder.

“What?” I asked, massaging my forehead.

“Its just like me mama used to say” He said nodding understandly.

“Ok” I replied, defeatedly. My head was starting to hurt now. I really needed to drink more water in my life.

“If this is an oven, do you think I’m more of a strudel or a fritter?” Chewy asked, scratching her chin with her dirty fingernails.

“There’s a difference?” I asked.

“Ah what would you know” Chewy said, rather scornfully.

That hurt. How was I supposed to know all the different types of pastries. It wasn’t like we lived in France or anything. Chewy, for once, wasn’t being very fair to me.

“Oh so you know more about bread than me?” I asked angrily.

Her eyes widened knowingly, and I could see then that here worlds of knowledge behind her lids, perhaps I had been mistaken.

“I know so much its sometimes painful” she said quietly.

My anger turned to curiousity suddenly,

“When were doughnuts invented?” I asked her.

“1847” she said hollowly. It was as if she was experiencing war flashbacks just remembering it.

“I’m sorry I doubted you Chewy” I relented, “I forgot how wise and all-knowing you are.”

“Its aight” Chewy grunted. She had never been one to hold a grudge. I wasn’t sure if she was really forgiving or her memory was just that short.

The heat. I could feel it in waves now. It rolled over my body.

“Hey, do you see that guy cackling over there?” Bond asked abruptly, pointing to a student a few yards away from us, “He looks so happy, he must be having a grand ole’ time over there!”

Indeed he must have, for he was laughing like a madman. He was a student who looked to be our age or younger, with long curly black hair and dark eyes, his skin was a cool brown that reminded me of a wallet my grandma had once given me. His robes indicated that he was from slytherin.

“I wanna go over there and see what he’s hee-hawing about!” Bond exclaimed excitedly. But just then he was confronted by a mob of oldies. They looked peeved.

One of them spoke just then,

“Are you the one responsible for this fire, young wizard?”

He stopped laughing to look up at them, he was rather short. Still smiling he said,

“Yes Ma’am!”

The old lady was shocked! She made an expression like a pufferfish before saying,

“What a terrible young boy you are! What in the world would inspire you to do such a thing?!”

“I did it because this school sucks” He said simply, drawing out the word sucks.

The oldies gasped.

“You are going to see the headmaster this instant! Pray he will have mercy!” The old lady exclaimed, obviusly outraged her favorite hangout spot had been dissed.

The boy just laughed again, though he looked a little nervous now.

Then Bond went up to him.

“Howdy!” Bond chirped, tipping an invisble hat his way.

The young boy looked startled now, more startled than before.

“Who dares to speak to me?” He asked, his nose raised.

“The name’s Bond, Bond James” Bond said cheerily, “Might I ask you what ya was hee-hawing over? Ya looked mighty jolly!”

The oldies seemed surpised too now. And uncertain whether or not to proceed with the banishing or whatever of the mad student.

“None of your business english scum!” the boy scoffed, turning away.

Bond chuckled, “Aw I ain’t no anglo-can man! I’m from America! Freest country in the west”

The boy only scowled his disapproval.

Bond continued, oblivious to any hostility,

“Where you from fine stranger?”

“Isn’t it obvious? I come from one of the wealthiest families in India!” he replied, raising his voice snobbily.

“Ah, but don’t forget. Wealth Is just a cow away from poverty” Bond reminded him, raising his eyebrows.

“My family has thousands of goats!” the boy protested, seemingly uncertain of whether Bond was trying to insult him or compliment him.

Bond nodded approvingly, “My mama used to tell me every night before I went to sleep, ‘Bondilumus James, goats are the only way to a mans heart, you remember that mmk?’ Had a voice like an old car horn though mama did, kinda took from the charm.”

The rich boy was too confused to respond. He seemed to have forgotten his forboding sentence.

Then the oldies butted in,

“Enough of whatever this is. We’re taking you to Mr. Potter right now!”

And with a wave of their magical sticks, they were gone, taking the snobby boy with them.

“Aw, I guess he didn’t want to stay and chat” Bond said sadly.

“He looked like he had somewhere else to be” I explained to Bond.

“I thought he looked like a brat” Chewy said, shrugging her shoulders.

Unfortunetly the oldies had now left us to wither away in the heat of the cafeteria.

It was over 30 degrees now, and death seemed near.

Then I remembered somehing!

“Hey Chewy!” I perked up.

“Yeh”

“Aren’t you like super magical or something?”

“Uhh yeh”

“Could you magic the fire away?” I asked, somewhat pleadingly.

“Yeh I guess so” she said disintrestedly.

“Please magic it away!” I begged her.

She grunted and then started casting a spell,

“Fire fire go away, come again another day” She sang lazily.

Then the fire was gone. Just like that. We were freed.

“Aw” Bond whined, masochistly.

I took a deep breath, relieved.

Tuesday

Today was just like every other day of the week, except today was Tuesday.

I didn’t get much sleep the night before so I was tired when I woke up. Plus I had no blanket since Bob had eaten it the other day.

It wasn’t until Charms class that anything interesting happened. We we were given a new teacher that day since Mr. Dawney had become one with the tiles. The teacher introduced herself to us that day as Ms. Clumbernod. She was a short, plump woman with dark hair and pink glasses. She wore a dress coloured like a bloodstain.

“I am so glad to finally meet you all” She said cheerily, “I am so excited to teach you at Hogwarts this year. Do you have any questions for me?” she asked, looking expectedly at the class.

“Yeah, why you look like a vampire?” One bold kid asked, snickering.

“And why do you look like a snickers bar?” she asked, waving her wand.

He did look like a snickers bar! I can’t believe I didn’t notice it before. Embarrassing.

“Wowie! That’s a powerful witch right there!” Bond exclaimed, impressed.

“Thank you Mr. James” The teacher said kindly, nodding in his direction.

“Aw don’t worry about it” Bond replied smiling.

The lesson plan for that day was surprisingly complicated. The teacher gave us little tablets engraven with a poem to use to charm a teddy bear.

The poem read:

Little teddy

Little teddy

LUMOS

My teddy was a small golden pony with soft and short fur. It had pink eyes like bubblegum and an eerily bright smile. I looked over to see what Chewy’s teddy bear was, and was shocked to see it wasn’t a teddy at all but a bat!

“They gave you a bat?” I asked in astonishment.

“HAHAHAHA” she guffawed, “Nah they gave me a bat stuffie but I made it more realistic” she explained.

“That’s pretty realistic…” I noted, watching it squirm and squeak in her hands.

“Thanks friend” she said, slapping my back.

“Ow!” I yelped. Her hand felt like a ripe ping pong paddle.

She made no apology but turned back to her bat.

But she didn’t need to ask, I had already forgiven her..

Then something alarming happened. The bat stuffie(?) tried to bite Chewy’s hand! But her hand was so thick and calloused that it could make no dent. Chewy didn’t seem to notice.

“That’s one brave bat” I commented, looking up at her.

“Yeah but I need to make it shiny right?” Chewy asked, her face scrunched up in concentration.

I gasped. Chewy had actually been paying attention to the teacher’s lesson?! That was definetly a first.

“You just need to use the poem she gave us as a charm” I explained.

She looked at me with utter confusion.

“Uh, like this thing” I said picking up my own tablet to show her.

She groaned, “No reading” she huffed.

“what?” I asked. Now I was confused.

“I don’t read. I talk” she answered simply.

“Then how will you do the assign-”

“SHINY BAT THING!” Chewy yelled suddnely, her voice so loud and so fierce that it knocked off some of the other students charms and stuffies.

Many students scrambled to pick up their work, mumbling angrily. In the midst of this Chewy’s bat stuffie flew up from where it had fallen on the floor, shining now like a radient crystal.

“Wow, its as bright as Mr. Clean’s smile now...” I muttered, aghast.

“Just like Uncle Rooty’s bald head…” Bond added, equally amazed.

Chewy grunted delightedly, proud of her accomplishment.

The bat however, seemed afraid now of its own maginficence, flapping wildly and trying to escape the brilliant light emitting from its own body.

“They grow up so fast” Bond said quietly shedding a tear. The bat screeched, deranged.

Wait nevermind that was actually the teacher.

“Goodness me! AHHH! What is that thing?!” She cried, her hands shielding her face.

“Its a vulture!” one unhelpful student pointed out.

“No its a sparrow or something!” A girl yelled, almost in tears.

“ITS BIG BETTY!” Chewy cried, raising her arms excitedly.

Big Betty flew wildy around the room, like some sort of missile nightlight.

“GET IT AWAY FROM ME!!!” Mrs. Dumberderflod cried, trying to swat at it with her hands.

“Ok” Chewy nodded. And cast a spell with a wave of her ping pong hands.

Then suddnely the bat was enlarged and holding onto Chewy’s back.

“What-” I started.

“Open the window Butterball!” Chewy shouted at me. I quickly obliged, not only because she was my best friend, but also because she looked terrifying at the moment.

Then Chewy flew out of the classroom into the stormy sky. She looked like some sort of new and deadly mythical creature.

Mrs. Dumperbod glared at the rest of the class, her hair a mess.

“Who is responsible for this, THIS DIASTER?!” She yelled at us angrily.

We all pointed silently to the window where Chewy could be seen, circling one of the tower spires outside.

“AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH” the teacher shrieked, turning very pale. She did not seem to recognize Chewy as one of her students, rather believeing that she and the bat were some sort of grotesque creature.

The rest of the class responded in suit. Chewy was not someone you wanted to be your enemy.

I only stared up at Chewy, silently, watching her circle round and round. I wondered if I should confront her later about trying to skip class.

When the teacher had regained her bearings, a good while later, she hurriedly ushered us out of the classroom to safety.

“Quick let us go to the dungeons” she whispered to us, her voice quivering. “May fate have pity on us”

She ran in front of us, leading us down the halls.

She didn’t stop at the other classrooms, but some of the teachers and students saw us from their open classrooms and tried to stop Ms.Wumpershod and ask her what was wrong.

“Miss, Miss, what on earth has got you and the class running like this?” Mr. Runeveld, an older teacher asked, trying to keep pace with our flushed teacher.

“Giant beast! Outside!” she told him loudly, not slowing down.

He ran back to his own classroom to check. Then his class was following ours. Mr. Runeveld apparenlty had a higher regard for his fellow human beings, since he tried to warn each classroom we passed, falling behind.

“Its you again!” I heard a voice from behind us, a voice I recognized.

“Nice day isn’t it?” Bond replied to them. I turned my head to see who it was, and saw the wealthy boy from yesterday.

“How dare a country bumpkin like you speak to me?!” He said crossly.

“Hey that ain’t no way to treat a fellow partner” Bond said, a little hurt.

I was being pushed to the sides of the railings by the others now, which made my ribs hurt.

“I’m not your partner!” the boy cried angrily.

“I don’t believe in enemies” Bond replied, reaching up to hold his hat amidst the running, forgetting his head was naked.

The boy growled, his eyes closed to slits.

I tried my best to keep my balance in the race, but it was a struggle. Plus Bond was intent on jigging the whole way there beside me.

I looked to see what Chewy was doing, then remembered she was in the sky. But she wasn’t in heaven, she was just flying around like a witch.

The crowd pushed and pulsed around me, cold and sweaty. I hurried along with them, being swept down the long narrow stairs to the dark dungeons below the school.

Then I could hear the long whistle of the emergency alarm sounding above our heads. It was loud and piercing, causing my hands to fly up instinctively to my ears.

Bond james looked towards me, frowning in concern,

“You alright there pal?” he asked, tripping over someones feet as he desperately jigged.

“Too loud,” I muttered, in a voice too quiet to hear. But he seemed to understand.

“There there little critter its gon’ be just fine. Whoops sorry, I’m not used to talking to actual people” Bond said, smiling apologetically.

“Thanks Bond” I smiled back.

Then I got pushed over the rails of the stairs we were approaching.

The fall wasn’t very memorable for some reason. I could only remember talking to Bond, and then waking up in an infirmary.

I felt a hot weight on my forehead, like a warm moist hand. The touch would have been appreciated perhaps if it wasn’t completely unexpected and if I knew where and why I was.

“What?” I said aloud, to no one in particular.

There was a blanket over me I now realized, a heavy blue doctory-blanket. I pulled it away suddenly, for the unexpected fear had gripped me that maybe the rest of my body wasn’t there. Maybe I had had a terrible accident and lost my other half. But it was still there, thankfully, with a few big bandages here and there.

“Oh good” I sighed in relief.

Then I saw someone I didn’t recognize approach me. It was an older woman dressed in faded pink robes with a kind but worn face. She smiled as she drew closer.

“What happened?” I asked her, sitting up. I winced, sitting up hurt more than it usually did.

“You took a great fall” she explained sympathetically.

“Like humpty dumpty?” I asked, my voice quavering.

“Yes, like humpty dumpty. But Hogwarts has some pretty good men and horses.”

I racked my brain trying to remember where or when I had seen horses at hogwarts but couldn’t recall. Was my memory affected by the fall?

“Harry Potter is a great man I hear” I said, attempting to relate.

“Yes” she brushed off the statement, “but there is someone in particular you should thank”

“My inner cat reflexes?” I asked, scratching my head. What was she trying to say?

“No. You certainly can’t thank those. Your friend is responsible for saving your life. He was the only one who noticed when you fell...”

Ouch.

“He immedietly brought you here to the infirmary even when the building was being evacuated and there was little staff to help. If he hadn’t gotten you here, we don’t know what would have become of you. You probably wouldn’t have died but life would be kinda different y’know”

“Wow. I can’t believed Bond saved me.” I said, looking down at my blanket.

“Who’s Bond?” she asked, puzzled.

“Bond James” I said, equally as confused now.

“That wasn’t who saved you. I don’t think I’ve even heard anything about that guy asking to see if you are ok” She said, looking at me apologetically.

“Oh...Then who was it?”

“George Fernandad”

Now that was weird.

“I don’t know a George?” I said, looking at her sideways.

“Georgie maybe? The spelling was weird”

“Hmm still doesn’t ring a bell”

The nurse rubbed her temples,

“He had black hair, darker skin, looked kind of like a nervous rabbit?”

“Uhhhh…”

“Well I could ask him to drop by later?” She said shrugging her shoulders.

“Sure. I want to thank him” I replied and pulled the covers over myself once more.

She nodded and left. I wasn’t sure where she was going but there was no one else in the infirmary at this time, so now it was just me and my thoughts.

I looked to the nightstand beside me, it held an old digital clock and a small nurse-bobblehead that creeped me out. The time read 3:06.

I thought of picking up the bobblehead and playing with it but then decided I didn’t wish to be the instigator of my own nightmares.

I was surprised to see that there wasn’t any ivs or other weird needles poking out of me, nor even the suggestion that one had been used. This was a very boring incident I supposed.

There was however a a large bandage, stretching across my abdomen, held on by medical tape. Hopefully that would leave a cool looking scar.

I was trying to lift the bandage to see the injury I had sustained when I was surprised to see another presense enter the infirmary. It was Chewy’s boyfriend!

“What brings you here?” I asked, hoping my tone was friendly. I quickly pulled my shirt down (I had had it up to inspect the bandage).

Jorje looked down, embarassed,

“I was told you wanted to see me?” he asked, nervously fidgeting with his blue-lined robes.

Now I was embarrassed. I hadn’t at all asked to see him, not even in the slightest. But I couldn’t tell him that, no, he might take it the wrong way.

“Ah yes, I wanted to talk about...things” I said, looking at him pointedly, hoping he would continue my sentence for me, but he only stared at me, dumbfounded.

“Things?” he asked.

“oh y’know…” I chuckled nervously.

“No. I’m afraid I don’t know what you mean. Are you feeling ok? Perhaps you should rest more”

Darn, now I would have to improvise,

“I wanted to talk about Chewy! And your relationship, with Chewy, yeah… that’s it” I said nodding.

He took a step back, startled,

“It’s not really-It’s not like-” he swore under his breath, “how do I even explain this?” he muttered.

“With words”, I suggested unhelpfully.

He ran his fingers through his hair, then sighed, “She didn’t give me a choice in the matter, she told me we were dating and then told everyne else. I didn’t know what to say at first- I was so shocked, but now its all gotten out of control.” he sighed again.

“Have you talked to Chewy about it?” I asked, sitting up straight, “I’m sure she would understand”

“No, she wouldn’t.” he said shaking his head and groaning.

Then I remembered she wouldn’t.

“She’s a nice girl...” Ok but she also was scary and powerful, “...I don’t want to hurt her feelings but I just don’t see us working out.”

“Plus we’re only 12” I added.

“That too I guess” He said, taking a moment to think about it.

“By the way,” I ventured, “Do you think I’ll ever be as cool as Bond?”

“That boy from Slytherin?”

“He’s from Slitherton?”

“Yeah, you didn’t know?” he asked me, quizzically.

“There’s a lot I don’t know” I admitted.

“I gathered” he muttered.

“What did you gather?” I asked.

He shook his head dismissively.

“Well now that we’ve talked about my...relationship with Chewy, I suppose I should get going,” he said awkwardly glancing at me.

I shrugged my shoulders, “Whatever floaties your goaties”

He cringed, “That’s strange, very strange thing to say, anyway, I will be leaving now. I hope you feel better soon, get some rest.”

“Thanks Jorje. See you around.”

“Yeah...bye” He left then, swiflty exiting the medical bay.

He was quite the character that one, I thought to myself as I watched him walk out the large white medical doors.

They released me the next day with instructions to avoid any strenous activities and to come to the med bay every evening to change my bandage.

The Strenous activities wouldn’t be much of a problem for me since it was already my habit to avoid any amount of physical exertion if not necessary, but I was worried about the hospital visit, because it would interfere with my daily evening meditation session, wherein I would meditate on what to do in the case of an alien zombie invasion. The zombies being aliens themselves of course. I had asked them if I could pass on the checkups but the head nurse told me that would be “ill-advised” and I figured if an illness was advising me to do so then it probably wasn’t a good idea.

I woke up early that morning, to the sound of an owl hooing somewhere within the bed chambers. This was a common occurance since the school seemed to be host, for whatever reason, to an ungodly amount of owls. I stuffed my ear holes with pillow and attempted to go back to sleep, but the sleep did not return to me. So I decided to get up.

The air was brisk and cold, like one of my 2nd cousins half refridgerated beer bottles. I’d never drunk from one of them, but I was taking some creative liberties with this imagery.

I tried to think of a spell to warm myself but could only vaguely remember a poisonous death charm I’d seen in an open book in the dungeons one particular evening. Drat, that probably wouldn’t help in this sitaution.

I wrapped the blanket around my head and shoulders, trembling, then slowly creeped out of bed.

I could see frost had formed on the window outside near my bed, and the daylight was just tinting the glass.

Then I saw something I did not see every morning, but then again, I wasn’t usually up this early. A great and gnarly crimson hand was pressed up against the glass of my window, frost climbing up its fingertips.

Interesting!

I moved closer to the window, wrapping the blanket tighter. I could make out the hand clearer now, even in the dark of the early morning bed chambers. It was almost scaly-looking, out of dryness rather than reptilian, and there were long fingernails/claws on the long fingers. All in all- my attention was now undivided, which would have been a blessing in class.

I placed my hand over where its was, the cold frost numbing my fingers. It was cold, but it made me warm to think of gaining another friend, even one with some freakish fingernails. It was almost like we were high-fiving.

Then one of its fingers began to tap tap tap on the glass. The sound sharp yet brittle too.

There was a rhythm to it that I found oddly comforting, it reminded me of a low folksy country song I had once heard when I was young, not unlike the songs I had heard Bond howl in the hallways inbetween classes.

I hummed the song to myself in time to the rhythm, tapping my own fingers on the glass.

Then the hand stopped, almost as if it had frozen.

I stopped to, thinking maybe this was where the beat dropped.

Then the hand slinked down until it was gone in a whirlwind of white, which made me realize that it was snowing hard outside, maybe even blizzarding.

I sighed, feeling somewhat lonely, and looked back to my bed. Gristle was sleeping soundly beside the spot I had been laying in, half covered in the remaining blankets. He looked cozy.

I walked down the room to see if Chewy was still sleeping and saw her ominous shape stuffed under a massive pile of blankets. She gave me the impression of a stuffed mozarella stick. This may have alarmed me if this was someone else, but I knew well enough to know now that this was how Chewy felt comfortable.

I considered for a moment waking her up and asking her what her favourite school subject was, but decided not to interupt her sleep.

Bored, I decided to head downstairs to the lounge area and see if I could find a way to entertain myself there.

The stairs creaked as I made my way down, the sound loud against the muffled silence caused by the snow storm.

I frowned, the stairs were too wooden in my opinion. I would have preferred them to be 50-75% wooden at most, but this was too much. They felt dry and dusty under my feet, groaning under my every step.

The bottom of the stairs opened up to a large circular space with coaches and bookshelves and a great dome above.

The moon and stars illuminated the room to a degree, basking it all in a blue glow.

I felt a certain sense of apprehension now, seeing the way the shadows hid in the corners of the room, sneaking into book cases and lamp shades, silently watching me it felt like.

I slowly crept into the room, staying close to the wall.

I could hear the strange creak and grumble that old buildings often made in the night, making goosebumps rise on my skin.

I imagined with anxiety that some ghostly figure would creep out of the shadows and start existing in ways I could not comprehend.

I stood frozen for a few moments before my boredom got the best of me. Then, with deliberate movements, I made my way to one of the bookshelves on the far side of the room.

The bookshelf was filled with heavy tomes with peeling to tattered covers and golden letters. I reached towards one near to me labelled,

A history of transfiguration to the 2nd degree

I flipped it open to a page in the middle but soon found that the book contained images too disturbing for my eyes. Half-humanoid creatures blankly stared at me from the pages, and distorted objects confused me as my eyes met them. I shut the book, shuddering. I fit it back into its spot, hoping that it would never be brought back into the light and be viewed with innocent eyes.

I scanned the other books for an interesting title and settled on a book labelled,

When coffee rain becomes coffee reign, by L.W.

I had just opened the book to the first few pages when I was greeted by an unfamiliar voice.

“Hello there”

I jumped and dropped the book, startled.

“Where?” I asked, looking around.

“Down here” he said, drawing his voice out like it was a long spaghetti noodle.

I looked down to see a white ferret staring up at me on its hind legs, its pink eyes glowing in the moonlight.

“What are you doing here?” I asked him, looking down at him curiously.

“I could ask you the same question” he purred.

“I’m here because of owls” I explained, closing the book in my hands.

“Interesting.” he mused, curling around my leg.

“And you?”

“I’m here to scope out the castle’s weaknesses in case I ever decide to turn against this school,” he said, beginning to lick one of his paws.

“My weakness is that I am allergic to faux fur.” I said, hoping I was contributing well to the conversation.

“I’ll remember that” he nodded, winking at me.

“Do you live here?” I asked.

“Its best not to give out personal information I’ve found” he said, turning his attention back to me.

“You must have a lot of secrets then” I commented.

“Indeed” he said, stretching. “What book were you reading?” he asked, looking at the bookshelf.

“Something about coffee, I hadn’t really started since you’d startled me.

“Hmm, and the one before that?”

“Oh that? It was nothing good, I don’t recommend it.” I said, wincing at the memory.

“Your opinion means very little to me at this moment, but thank you.” he said dryly.

I shrugged.

“Are you a wizard?” I asked him suddenly.

“Perhaps, perhaps not.” he responded, jumping onto a nearby bookcase.

“What’s your name?”

“You may call me Brutus if you must refer to me” he said lazily, scratching the bookcase with his little claws.

“Ok Brutus.”

Then we heard a loud thud above us.

I craned my neck to see what all the hubbabub was about and saw to my astonishment that there was what looked to be the giant chest and stomach of some sort of creature above us on the dome.

Brutus squeaked in alarm. Luckily it didn’t seem to hear.

“Who’s that?” I asked.

Brutus didn’t respond, but sat staring up at the creature, mouth open and eyes wide.

“He doesn’t look like he goes to our school” I offered, hoping Brutus would help me identify him.

Then the creature began to recoil, moving backwards so that its veiny neck was now visible.

“H-hide” Brutus whispered, his whiskers quivering.

“Good thinking,” I said, looking around the room for a hiding spot; hide and go seek was always a good way to make new friends.

I quickly dove under a nearby coffee table, tucking my legs in. brutus followed behind me, and curled up next to me, shaking uncontrollably.

I could hear the sound of the fingernails on the glass as it assumedly peered into the empty lounge.

“Its not cheating if we hide together is it?” I asked Brutus, but he didn’t respond.

“I hope it isn’t” I responded to myself, looking out into the dark room.

It was quiet for a few moments then. The only sound that could be heard was the faint ticking of a clock somewhere and the sound of Brutus shivering against the floor.

I desperately wanted to stick my head out from underneath the wooden table and watch the creature as it looked for our bodies, but I didn’t want to give away our hiding place so soon.

So I sat still, breathing silently.

Finally, I heard the sound the thumping sound of him crawling away, his nails continouing to scrape sharply against the glass.

A few moments later, “Is he gone?” Brutus whispered to me.

“I’ll check” I answered brightly, glad that the aching silence was disturbed.

“Wai-no!” Brutus whispered urgently to me as I crept out from underneath the table’s edge.

My gaze was met with the clear night sky, filled with stars. He was gone.

I grinned and turned back to face Brutus,

“We won”

He slowly uncurled his body, his eyes peeping out from beneath his tail.

“W-we did?” he stuttered.

“Well, he gave up...and I think that’s how we win right?” I asked, suddenly not so sure of myself.

He looked at me blankly, then his eyebrows shot up,

“We have to tell the headmaster about this, now!” he cried, looking strained. So strained in fact that I started thinking about where the word “strain” might have originated from. Perhaps it was a latin word, it did sound as if it could have latin roots. But not everything was latin, I should know that by now. But if not latin then what, aramaic?

I was too lost in thought to realize that Brutus had slipped away, and in his place stood a tall (compared to me) pale boy with dark ratty hair (I like rats). He was wearing yellow lined robes and big wrinkled boots.

“Hey, where’d Brutus go?” I asked him, hoping he knew who I was talking about.

He scowled at me, “I’m Brutus you idiot. Now come on, we have to find the headmaster”

“Whatever for?” I asked.

“Don’t be daft” he said.

“Ok” I said, then followed him as he rushed down the stairs and out of the ravenclaw dormitory.

Brutus had longer legs than I did, and was using them to his advantage.

“Slow down please” I begged, “I can’t keep up”

Brutus didn’t respond again, he was too busy chugging along.

Finally we were at our destination- and I don’t even know what it was.

My knees felt weak and shaky as I panted desperatley for breath.

“We-were here?” I asked, looking up, but Brutus had already walked over to the door and was knocking fervantly.

I walked over to him, doing my best not to fall over- I was so exhausted from running after this long-legged boy.

He knocked harder, and he had no rhythm which bothered me.

“Don’t knock like that” I growled, irritated. I pushed him aside gently.

“Knock like this” I said, knocking for example- ‘knock-knock, knock, knock-knock, knock’

“What are you talking about?!” He asked angrily. He could not appreciate art, obviously.

I was about to explain to him the many stylistic expressions of knocking and how they influenced culture and society when the door suddenly sprang open.

“What in the world-” Mr Potter began, than Brutus interuppted him,

“Mr. Potter! There’s a creature climbing the walls of the castle, and its horrific!”

“Slow down! Tell me exactly what happened!” Mr Potter said, his face now panicked.

“Well I-no- this girl here was in her dorm lounge when she saw this great creature above her atop the glass dome, it was humanoid but ugly and red, with long talons” He said shuddering. “I was awake and when I heard of it I knew we must notify you at once! Please do something Mr. Potter! Please!”

Mr. Potter’s face whitened the more Brutus spoke,

“This is bad, real bad” he said, his tone grave.

“Do you think he’ll want to play another round of hide and seek?” I asked, unsure of where the conversation was currently headed.

Mr. Potter ignored me, he seemed to have trained himself to do that in the year that I had known him.

He then turned to face Brutus and I, squarely and said to us,

“Both of you stay here, it should be a bit safer in my office. Be quiet and don’t leave the office; I can’t have you waking any of the other students up. It’ll be safer for everyone if there is no panic...Oh I wish Granger was here, what will I do without her?” he muttered to himself, clearly distressed.

He looked in dire need of a cup of chamomile tea. His face pale and clammy.

“It’ll be ok Mr. Potter, its not like its hide and seek tag right? Or is it? I never really asked the creature...hmm” I said, glancing off into space.

“Stay here.” Mr. Potter warned us once more, before rushing down the hallway, robes flying behind him.

Brutus, stepped into the office hesitantly, shivering from either the chill of the room or from fear.

“Are you alright Brutus?” I asked, following him into the room.

“Hardly” he replied, quietly.

“He’ll never find us up here. I don’t even know where we are” I assured him, smiling ever so slightly.

“Smarten up already would you? We’re in the headmaster’s office. Next thing you’re going to say you don’t know who that is” He grumbled, botheredly.

“Is it...by any chance Mr. Potter? The honorary oldie?”

He huffed, “Lucky guess wisecrack”

“I just figured it might be him since he came out of this office” I said, blushing at the compliment.

He rolled his eyes at me, his pupils doing a loop-de-loop around the whites of his eyes. It was entertaining. I wished he would do it again, but dared not ask him to because I feared I had upset him in some way.

I looked around the office awkwardly, trying to think of something socially appropriate to say.

There were trinkets and knick-knacks on the shelves and many golden trophies shaped like broomsticks. Perhaps Mr. Potter was a master janitor. He did seem like he would work wonderfully with a broom. There was also a laptop on his desk, silver and shining, with stickers shaped like stars and diamonds on it.

There was also a bobblehead figure of himself bobbing back and forth next to the computer.

Mr. Potter’s a tall man isn’t he?” I asked, “Legs like a lampost that one”

“Do you think before speaking?” Brutus asked me, a bit harshly I might add,

“Sometimes” I admitted, “When my brain gets the better of me”

He just sighed in response to that.

He was quite haggered looking now, in dire need of sleep no doubt. I pitied him suddenly.

“You look tired, you should get some sleep” I told him, my eyebrows knitting together sympathetically.

“I can’t sleep at a time like this” he said, almost despairingly.

“Well that’s a bit silly. Night is the best time to sleep”

He put his head in his hands, groaning.

“I can play a song for you if that would help, I’ve picked up a few useful things in charms class you know.”

“No that-Actually yeah, that might help me relax a bit” he said changing his mind. His face smoothed as he relaxed his facial muscles.

“I only know Old Macdonald had a farm and Death rhapsody 12, lightening strikes again”

“Try the first one”

Luckily I had memorized the charm for this one so I knew already which words I needed to say to make the music play. I won’t tell them to you again here however, for I don’t remember it now.

Pretty soon the clinking sound of vibrant xylophone filled the room, sweet and soft, though a little slow- I hadn’t quite mastered it yet.

“You only know it in xylophone?” he asked me, lifting his head up.

“Well, we had to choose an instrument, and I like the xylophone” I said, a bit embarrassed.

“No, it’s nice, don’t worry” he said, his voice softening.

I smiled, glad to see him relax.

Then my mind drifted, to farmlands. I wondered if Macdonald had been a real historical person, and what he must have done that was so impactful that a nursery rhyme was wrote about him. Perhaps his farm was very exquisite, maybe his animals were some of the finest looking and tasting in all the land. What would he have thought about Genetically modified food? He struck me as the kind of man who would be passionately against it. He would also probably have a very granola wife, who permed her hair and bought her kids gluten free lunches for school. He would probably have a big family, with kids who helped out on the farm. I wondered if him and I would get along…”

I was deep in my countryside fantasies when I heard the sound of Brutus snoring on the couch in the office. He was asleep.

I felt sleepy too, I realized, perhaps it was thinking about sheep that did it to me. Or perhaps it was because the air felt enchanted in Potter’s office and the lighting was dim.

I took up residence in a chair beside the couch, and curled up in a ball. I fell asleep quickly and soundly.

I was awoken by a large crash. I started and nearly fell off the large padded chair before catching myself. I assumed that it must be the creature from before looking again for playmates but was surprised to see Chewy standing in the room, a broken vase beside her.

“Darn vase jumpscared me!” she exclaimed, gesturing towards the shattered pottery.

“I didn’t know they had such powers” I replied, looking at its sad remains.

“Power or no, it had some rage to it I’ll bet ya anything” she said crossly, “Should see some therapy that darn thing, pent up emotions...and maybe a vase hospital.” She said peering down at it.

“Yeah, that looks like it could be fatal” I nodded in agreement. “Anyways, what are you doing here Chewy?”

“Heard you were playing chase and go seek with a big fellow and I didn’t wanna miss all the fun” she explained, smiling heartily. “And who’s that fellow?” she asked pointing to Brutus who had somehow slept through Chewy’s grand entrance.

“Um, well either he’s a ferret or a ferret is him. I haven’t figured it out yet.” I shrugged my shoulders.

“Good enough for me” she said, leaning now on one of the walls. “Is this really your hiding spot?” she continued.”

“Yeah, Mr. Potter said it would be good, but I agree that it does feel a bit too open.”

She grunted, “Hmphm, what would Mr. Potter know? That man can’t even hide his eyeballs, always wearing those clear glasses” she shook her head, unimpressed.

“Where would you suggest then?” I asked, looking up at her in interest.

She smiled evily, “I know a few places.”

“Legal?” I asked.

“Lets go” she urged me, grabbing my hand.

“Wait!”

She stopped.

“I should leave a note for Brutus, it wouldn’t be kind to leave without any notice”

She looked puzzled for a moment, then shrugged.

“Whatever”

I quickly pulled a penpad and pencil from my pocket and scrawled out a note for Brutus:

Brutus,

This hiding spot is too open for me to stay in, and I plan on winning the game. I hate to rush off soon without a word, but you sleep so soundly I am afraid I could not wake you to say a farewell. Thanks for hiding with me,

talk soon,

or never idk

- Winnifer Lorens

“Come on now!” Chewy urged again, “The game will be done by the time we hide if we dally!”

I was surprised to hear Chewy say the word “dally” as it didn’t fit much into the rest of her style of speaking.

“Is that a new word you learned?” I asked her, as she dragged me out the door.

“Yeh, my boyfriend taught me it. It means to waste time” she explained.

“Jorje is quite peculiar don’t you think?” I asked, struggling not to trip on my feet as she pulled me down the hallway.

“Yeh. Reminds me of that washing machine commercial man, don’t ya think?”

“Now that you say it, I see the similarity” I agreed, thinking of it.

“He even ties his shoes the same way” she smiled, “he must really like washing machines”

“Do you think they’ll ever make a washing machine with a window so you can watch the dishes being washed?” I asked, getting distracted.

“I’d pay a handomse price for a washing machine as handsome as that” she nodded.

“And I wouldn’t blame you for it” I smiled happily, glad to be spending the morning with my best friend.

We were silent for a moment, just enjoying each others company and panting because exercise is hard, before I spoke up.

“Hey Chewy...could I ask you a question?”

She grunted a yes.

“This is awkward to ask, but have you- have you- I mean have you kis- like lips and stuff- like lips on lips with him?” I asked, avoiding her eyes.

She stopped suddenly, “Lips on lips? Like kissin or whatever? Why would I do that? I bet his mouth would feel like a wet mouse pad” she said, wrinkling her nose, “Why do you ask such a gross question?”

I laughed nervously, “Well I just thought, since you are like his gf or something maybe you would- like be romantic- and like hold hands and stuff and k-kiss idk” I said, feeling my face flush.

“Heh?” she asked, “romance?”

“yeah y’know” I said uncomfortable now with the topic.

“I’d rather stick a porcupine noodle up my nose” she said in disgust

“You mean needle?”

“Yeh whatever”

“Why are you dating him then?” I asked, questioningly.

“Why else would I date him, slavery of course. Isn’t that what dating is?”

I was silent for a moment,

“Um, I don’t think so, unless I am wrong which is entirely possible.”

“So you’re saying dating is actually just a kissing game?” she asked.

“...I think so” I mumbled.

She furrowed her brows, thinking,

She grunted, “I’m in a tight spot I’guess. Whatever I’ll fix that later”

“Ok” I responded, because I wasn’t sure how to respond. I was also kinda of zoning out because I felt so sleepy.

“Hurry! Before he starts chasing again!” Chewy urged, transitioning into a run.

“Agh! Ok!” I said, running after her.

I watched the torchlight flicker past us as we ran on the smooth nanolion floors.

Chewy was ahead of me, the only thing visible was her dreaded lock of hair- she was only a foot ahead of me or so but her hair is truly MASSIVE.

Then we heard a loud THUMP on the wall beside us. We looked but there was nothing there, it must have come from the outside.

“HE”S READY!” Chewy cried, running faster, I could hear the smile in her voice.

“We’re not!’ I yelled, looking behind us once more.

Whatver it was, it was fast. We heard another loud THUMP from just a foot behind us.

Then Chewy suddenly stopped in her tracks. She turned to look at me with a maniacal expression on her face,

“Feeling wild today chicken strip?” she asked, eyes practically afire.

“Uhh sure” I said, not sure why she wanted to know.

“Hang on tight!” she yelled, and she meant it literally because she suddenly and ran towards me and crashed into me, pushing me and herself over the small rail of a long spiral staircase I hadn’t even noticed was beside us.

“Wai-!” I cried but it was too late. I tried to scream but I was too much in shock to make more than a whisper. I felt the air rush by me, lifting my hair up- and then suddenly I felt as if I were changing, as if my skin was tightening-and then loosening again. It made me feel hot and queasy at the same time.

Then suddenly I flipped so that my paws were facing the ground. Wait-paws? That can’t have been right.

I looked over to see where Chewy was but she was gone. In her place was some type of marsupial- presumably a squirrel. The squirrel squeaked happily and trotted over to me.

“Pretty neat, ain’t it chicken strip?” the squirrel chuckled, looking at me for a response.

“You sound just like my friend Chewy” I told it, amazed.

“Makes sense” the squirrel grunted in agreement, “Now, let’s go hide!”

“I’d love to hide with you my random marsupial acquaintance, but I’m not going anywhere without Chewy.”

The squirrel squinted at me,

“Suit yourself then buddy, but Imma go hide before that red guy sniffs us out. Had a big honkin nose that guy, bet he could sniff me out of a trash can”

The squirrel then slithered away, more snake-like than squirrel-like in its movements.

Then it was just me at the foot of a narrow spiraling staircase that smelled like sweat and trees. My sense of smell seemed to be heightened at this time.

It was surprisingly not as exciting as you might think to find yourself suddenly a squirrel. Once you got over the thrill, there was nothing else much to do except lick your paws and think about pine tree seeds.

There was still the looming threat of the seeker in hide and go seek tho. I wondered if the creature would be willing to come inside to find us, or if the thought frightened him, like how I was afraid to go on the play-structure if I was it in grounders.

I hoped he wasn’t afraid, I knew how bad that felt. Perhaps I should choose an easier hiding spot...No I mustn't, I had to wait for Chewy.

But I had to admit, the passing time was worrying me, as I saw no further sign of my buddy. I hoped nothing bad had happened to her. Though I could not think of anything that was higher on the food chain than Chewy- I mean it was even in her name!

It felt like hours had passed, though it may have been minutes or days, I could not tell, when I suddenly heard a deafening roar that reminded me of one of my alarms I used to have in the morning that I had to cancel because it disturbed my dorm-mates.

‘Ah, that might not be the best sign’ I thought to myself, watching as dust and smoke poured out from a nearby hallway, tumbling over into the open stairway.

Strangely, I found the sound of the roar and the rolling debris comforting, it gave me reason to believe Chewy was going to be alright. Who else could be the cause of the explosion?

Perhaps she would appreciate it if I went towards her rather than waiting for her if this was the case. I scrambled forwards, not used to my squirrel legs. I was able to climb the stairs rather nimbly, reaching the top in a matter of minutes.

I expected, when I reached the top that the explosion and general chaos of the situation would attract the attention of other students and staff and that people would be running around the scene. But instead it was eerily quiet, no one in sight, not even Chewy.

I crept forward, stepping over pieces of rubble and stepping over holes in the floor. Parts of the ceiling and the walls were missing, but none that would expose me to the outside air luckily.

It crossed my mind suddenly how great it was when things weren’t covered in blood. For starters, the hallway I was walking through would have been a terrible and horrifying mess if covered in blood. It was comfortable in comparison. It would also have been terrible if I was covered in blood and dying, or if it was someone else’s blood that would be even worse.

As it was, things were pretty good...in comparison.

Blood always made things worse.

I had almost made it past the difficult part when my foot caught on a nail, sending me tumbling into a hole in the ground. I cried out in surprise, thinking it was the end, before realizing that I was dangling from the nail, still caught in my shoe.

I squeaked, trying to stop my shoe from slipping off my foot, wishing I hadn’t bought such comfortably loose shoes.

Then, I saw a helping hand.

I smiled, fortune was on my side.

The creature stared down at me, its eye sockets were long ovals, set deeply in its face, and its eyes oddly enough were at the back of the sockets as if they were painted on, they were coloured like melting amber with black in the middle. They looked like those knots you see in planks of wood.

Its head was shaped strange as well, like a rectangle with round sides, and its skin was dark crimson, scaly and covered in marks that looked like gashes or welts.

I waved to him, which was hard to do upside down.

It had no mouth to smile at me with, but its expression seemed to contort to what I presumed was happiness.

“Could you help a fellow out?” I yelled, feeling the blood pool heavily in my head.

An inhuman sound escaped its lips- wait no it didn’t have lips, it seemed to be coming from its pores?

The sound was a cross between a whisper and a scream, kind of like when you get a bubble in a pancake and you press it down into the frying pan and it screams.

I kicked helplessly, trying to get myself up from where I hung.

The creature seemed to pity my struggle, it reached out its arm which was long and skeletal, and wrapped its fingers around me.

His hand felt surprisingly hot since I had seen him outside in the cold earlier. His hand was hot, rough and moist.

“You feel like crispy bacon!” I exclaimed.

It leaned in suddenly, putting its face up close to mine. I blushed at the sudden intimacy.

Then it sniffed me, which I have to admit I wasn’t expecting.

“What do I smell like to you?” I asked, “I’ve always wondered what I smell like from another person’s perspective.”

It didn’t respond.

I should’ve waited for a response, but my mouth was just faster than my brain. So I shot out another question before I even knew I was doing it.

“How do you eat without a mouth?”

It didn’t respond again, maybe because it didn’t have a mouth.

“Don’t feel obligated to answer that” I assured him quickly. Then I smiled at him, hoping he didn’t feel discriminated against. Hoping he felt comfortable. “Thanks for picking me up” I told him.

Suddenly he shook me hard, so that I flailed up and down.

“Whoa! This isn’t hide and go shake!” I exclaimed, my arms flopping every which way.

Then he stopped just as suddenly as he started, and placed me down rather harshly.

I stumbled backwards, losing my balance and falling onto my arse.

“Ouch!”

He walked away, bending over for his frame was far too large to fit inside the hallway.

I picked myself up, rubbing my arse.

“I guess its my turn to be the seeker” I mumbled to myself before placing my hands over my eyes, “30...29...28” I began counting down.

It didn’t take very long before I reached zero...That’s because I was only counting down from 30.

The creature had completely disappeared from sight by the time I had opened my eyes. I assumed it had gone straight ahead and began to run in pursuit of it.

The rubble was only at the beginning of the hallway, after that it was smooth sailing. I ran down the slick and shiny floors, passing in and out of the shadows cast on the walls. The morning sunlight flickering in my eyes.

My skin ripples with goosebumps from the cold as I turned a corner, half expecting to see the tall creature standing there waiting for me. But instead I saw someone else, Brutus. He looked scared.

“Hey! You’re finally awake!” I cried enthusiastically.

“H-How did I get here?” he asked, trembling.

“Maybe it was magic” I said smiling at him in jest.

“We were just in- in Potter’s office. What happened?” He stared unblinking at me. Which was a little unsettling.

“I don’t know I was a squirrel most of the time you were asleep” I confessed, scratching my head apologetically.

“A squirrel? What do you mean?” he asked, eyebrows suddenly knitting together in concentration and puzzlement.

“Like those little brown furry creatures that can climb trees?” I suggested, wondering if he really didn’t know what one was or if he just forgot.

“What?” He repeated again, clearly dumbfounded.

Just then I noticed the hulking figure of the spindly creature hovering near Brutus. It seemed to have slipped into the hallway unnoticed whilst we were talking.

“I FOUND YOU!!!” I shouted gleefully, running towards it, waving my little arms wildly.

Brutus shrieked in alarm, as he noticed the creature behind him, watching me run up to it.