My name is Robin Sanders, and I moved to China around a year and a half ago. I live with my husband Alex and my son Eli, and we’re from the United States. Moving from America to China may seem like a bold move, but we thought that it would be for the best. All the latest news said how China had the “world’s fastest-growing major economy,” and all the students who were in China’s education system had the best test scores in the world!
But I never thought that living in China would be like this. Don’t get me wrong, I like living here! It’s a very big switch, but this country works so differently than America. I don’t think that China should be seen in a bad way, despite everything. I feel that it should be seen as an example of how other countries can differ. As Americans, we can see another country’s beliefs and values as strict or extreme, but we also have to keep in mind that not everything will be the same in different parts of the world.
Now that that’s out of the way, this is my personal experience living in China with my very American family!
* * * * *
Like I said before, I have a son named Eli, and since we moved to China, we obviously had to enroll him into a school. Soong Ching Ling School was one of the best schools in Shanghai, but it was extremely difficult to get into. To put it into perspective, 1 in every 300 students gets accepted into the program.
Alex and I would carefully plan out our phone calls to the school to ask if a spot is open, calling every few weeks, and rotating between me and him to make sure that they would never recognize our voices. Every time we asked, the answer would always be the same.
“It’s filled up. It always is. There’s no use of asking,” the call moderator would respond. It wasn’t till one day where my husband went down to the school and somehow managed to become friends with the vice principal of the school.
My husband would be in China the exact definition of a foreigner. His blonde hair and blue eyes stood out in the crowd, and in China, natives like foreigners. Especially Americans, because I often saw Chinese generalizing about a people or culture they’d experienced only in passing. For example, the stereotypes usually follow that Germans refuse to negotiate, French are arrogant, and Indians have bad taste. Americans on the other hand seem to be compassionate and generous. Of course none of this is accurate, but that’s how others see it from small experiences.
Once Alex had become friends with the vice principal, we found ourselves cramped in a small room, and across from us was the vice principal giving our family an interview. If I learned anything when it comes to education, it’s that the teacher does not pick the student, but they pick the parent. Schools like parents who are jijifenzi- enthusiasts, because they will promote and try to represent the school, and parents who will do everything with their kid. They will study for hours, do music practice, read stories, and basically everything that a parent could possibly do for their kid.
In basic terms, teachers choose parents who will do everything to make sure that their child will succeed educationally.
Once we got into the system, we realized just how much Chinese education relies on parents. Every morning, we are required to give our kid practice tests before breakfast. Even if Eli doesn’t have a test coming up for another month, we still need to deliver them. Tests in China are usually much bigger and more challenging than ones in America, but it’s still a hassle to wake up every morning and on top of getting ready for work and making breakfast, delivering practice tests.
In Eli’s class there’s also a classroom blog, and most bothersome was the Wechat parent group. Messages from his homeroom Teacher Wang will keep me tethered to my phone at all hours almost every day. I even sometimes get messages in the middle of the night, or even on weekends!
The messages usually give all parents orders or information about what the students will learn in class that day. Sometimes I feel like we’re doing the teachers work for them, though.
Some messages will say to “Bring a plastic fish to school,” or that “The student healthcheck is today, so tell your child he must endure the finger prick.” These messages most of the time are completely fine, though some are much more strict, but what bothers me are the messages closer to what would seem to be the teacher’s own job.
“Tear out all of your children’s worksheets and affix them to the corresponding lesson page,” that day, Eli marched home with 7 workbooks, and we set up a mini-factory on our dining-room table, tearing worksheets, reshuffling papers, and stapling for hours.
“Shouldn’t this be the teacher’s job?” I asked Eli in the middle of ripping out more worksheets. He simply shrugged.
“Teachers are used to having students and parents doing what they want without questions,” he said, his tiny hands stapling more worksheets together.
I realized he was right. Everytime Teacher Wang sent a message to the parent chat, every parent responded the same way.
“Will do, thank you Teacher Wang!” or “I’ll get this done right away! Teacher Wang, you work too hard!” I was always forced to give the same enthusiastic response, despite our conflicts.
I would force myself to type something along the lines of “Thank you Teacher Wang, your amazing Teacher Wang!”
I’ve learned a few major points from enrolling my kid in the Chinese education system that I think every parent should know before moving to Shanghai.
Teachers are charged with making kids good Chinese citizens, but sometimes it’s not what you would think. Sometimes Eli acts like a robot, or a people pleaser. One time, I caught my son picking up trash from the sidewalk outside our house.
“Eli, what are you doing?” I asked.
“I’m picking up trash so I can be a good citizen!” he responded joyfully. Picking up trash is a very good thing to do in most cases, but Shanghai is a skyscraper city, and it can sometimes be dangerous. In this case, I saw a empty syringe on the sidewalk, and before Eli could notice I kicked it away and told him to come back inside.
Your kid can also seem to become a “robot” in some cases… or more like a soldier. Even in Kindergarten some friends have told me that their kids seem to be singing and learning songs from the Communist party. Some of their kids have even been inspired to become a soldier for the Chinese government. Now, I don’t completely mind if a child wants to be in the military when they grow up, but I do mind if teachers are telling kids that the best thing to do is become a soldier. Especially for the Communist Party, which I do not partake in.
I’ve also learned that teachers in China are much more strict than America for many reasons. The simplest way I can put this is this: In most parts of China there’s no religion, and in America there is. For most kids in America children have god to look to for guidance, while in China teachers get most of the authority. I’m not saying everyone is religious, I’m saying basically that parents are charged more with a child’s behavior and decisions, while in China the teachers are charged with most of it instead. Another reason for this is because American children start kindergarten around the age of 6, while Chinese children start from 3-6 years old. Teachers are paid very well in China because of the extra task of behavior, and much larger classes (chinese classes can be 25 kids all the way up to 50.)
In America, teachers respect children as individuals, but in China the individual is stressed less than society. We were unsure about the school's way of teaching, but we had seen news stories and articles about Soong Ching Ling school being one of the top schools in Shanghai. If China’s leadership trusted their offspring in this school, then it must be reliable… right?
* * * * *
The teachers have all the authority. Like I said before, they are used to having parents and children do whatever they want. The education system can be cruel sometimes, especially with this unquestionable authority.
Some of my parent friends say that they’re even scared to question the teachers because of the fear that their child may suffer in the classroom. If a parent shows any sort of disrespect towards a teacher, doesn’t take the teacher’s advice, or does not use the same sort of teaching methods, the teacher can mistreat and ridicule their child.
This isn’t fair to the parents or the child in my opinion, and it is considered child abuse, but studies say that the education system will change in the near future, and even now China is starting to adapt and use more Western teaching methods on children.
But for now, teachers still have the highest authority in schools under the principal, and parents are forced to say that the teacher is always right because of the fear that a parent’s child will be disregarded in education. It is also believed that a child won’t grow up properly if they see conflicting sides between parents and teachers, so no parent should ever say the teacher’s opinion is wrong.
* * * * *
For Eli, school starts at 7:30, and my work starts at 8:00. After I drop him off I race to my workplace, get on my uniform, and begin working. I work at an electronics company, but my job is just to document papers. Sounds simple, but I hate my job.
Working in China as a foreigner is tiring work, and for most people they get below minimum wage. I’ve worked at a shoe factory, hardware, manufacturing, and now electronics. Factory workers constantly change factories sometimes even every month to find a new life and make more money.
I make just about minimum wage now, but I used to only make $100 per month. My husband Alex is the only reason why we still own a house because he’s a business manager. Managers most of the time have the highest ranking, and they make the most money a company.
I thought that working in factories would be fun, I could talk to new friends and we could have a great time together. But that’s not what working here looks like. There are some rules that every worker needs to follow, and to name a few:
Working in China means that talking is strictly forbidden, and you should only speak when you are spoken to. Bathrooms in most factories are cramped and barely cleaned, and some don’t even have toilet paper or hand dryers. Factory workers can only go to the restroom once every 4 hours.
Taking a sick day, coming to work late, or your boss not liking a worker or their work means that they will most likely get a pay-cut. Unlike America where leaving work early is usually good, leaving work early in China means that you did not do enough work for that day, and it’s shamed upon. Leaving work late or going out afterwards is what most workers will do because it either means you worked hard that day, or you have excess money so you have time to go out.
Workers usually work for 10 hours a day, which is the same amount as schooltime, and they occasionally get a day off. Usually workers still work on weekends unless this occurs.
* * * * *
Interviewing for jobs in China is different from American interviews in ways that I didn’t expect. When I interviewed for this job, me and the employer sat down and I had to take 3 different tests.
The first test was on working with computers, which I ended up flunking. I didn’t know how to do the coding whatsoever, and I was just honest with what I knew. The second test was on what work I could do, and when I saw the files, I was straight up.
“I don’t know how to do this kind of work,” I said. So we moved on to the written test, which I did very well in. He noticed I had very good handwriting, and in China, calligraphy showed literary excellence, and in this case it showed some of my personality.
“Your hired, you start on Monday,” he said. This surprised me.
“What? But I failed two tests? Why would you pick me?” I asked, still shocked.
“Because you’re straightforward and honest, we can teach you the rest when you start working,” he responded, smiling. At that moment I learned something about working in China. Others care less about skill and more about personality, whilst in America most of the time it’s the opposite.
* * * * *
Afterwork, I go straight home. I end 30 minutes after Eli is finished with school, and like I said before it’s better to leave later than earlier because I don’t want a pay cut! Alex picks up Eli instead, since he finishes earlier than me.
I take the bus back home, but sometimes I’ll get home 3 hours before I was supposed to because of it. Not because I’m late to the bus, I’m rarely late! Busses in China make their own rules, and what I mean by that is that most of the time they don’t follow a schedule. This isn’t everywhere in China, but in Shanghai it’s much more common.
Busses don’t follow the designated schedule, and it will change randomly without even telling passengers beforehand. Sometimes bus drivers even try to force off passengers so they can get home earlier. Once, I was forced off with a few other passengers a few miles away from my house, so I had to walk home in the middle of the night. And may I mention that being a female walking on a dark sidewalk in one of China’s most populated cities is extremely dangerous?
Nowadays people care less about working to change China as a nation, and more about their own lives and destinies, and this is a perfect example of this.
* * * * *
One day one of my parent friends lectured me about having Eli take classes outside of school. Extra classes in Kindergarten? She couldn’t be serious. But here we were, talking about how her daughter takes english, math, pinyin (a different form of chinese), leadership, global vision, and Sunday chinese school. After I heard this, I put Eli in a Mandarin class to help him learn this forgein language better, but I didn’t want to overwhelm my son at such a young age.
All of these extracurriculars are only to get your child to the top. Everything in China is about being at the top nowadays. If a child does good in Kindergarten then they can be good in Middle School, High School, and so on. Parent’s don’t want their child to fall behind, especially since it’s so easy to in such a strict society and that if they do, they most likely won’t have a favorable life.
Parents and teachers teach kids the importance of working hard at such a young age so it can be automatic in the future. In fact, Chinese parents spend ⅓ more money for their children in Elementary school than they do in High School!
I have found that Chinese education and society tie together in many different ways. Besides the obvious and the ones I have already mentioned, this is what I’ve seen:
Speaking without being spoken to is one of the most disrespectful things in this culture. “Foreigners are more free” as some Chinese will say. Speak when you need to speak. Don’t speak unless spoken to. This is the unspoken rule of surviving in a Chinese society.
In education, children are given numbers and teachers call them by number instead of name. In the Chinese workplace, we are addressed by title instead of name. We are treated less like human beings, and more like pieces of a puzzle working to build a society. Teachers are known to yell at students all the time to raise authority, and to grab a student’s attention quicker. In Factories, managers usually have raspy voices from yelling orders at workers so much.
The same type of behavior is in all corners of China, and this is how this country functions. Everything is about being at the top of the totem pole, and having the most cash. That’s how to achieve happiness and prosperity in China.
* * * * *
I have one more story to tell… and it’s not going to be the happiest thing you will hear about my experience. At the end of Eli’s Kindergarten year, he ended up getting all A’s. But when we got the report card back, he had all B’s. I was extremely confused with this, and I asked some of my Chinese friends what was going on.
“Oh, you don’t know? You need to pay!” they would tell me.
“What?”
“You have to pay the teacher! It’s an unspoken rule. I recommend you get her a Coach bag! All teachers love designer bags,” I was shocked, how could anyone be so selfish as to expect someone else to pay them money to get what they deserve?! But I will admit, I gave in. I didn’t want my son to fall behind, and this wasn’t even his fault!
That night, I went out with a stack of cash, and I got a Coach designer handbag. I recalled seeing other citizens walking on the street with such handbags, so I followed what my friends had said. It was a black leather bag with a gold chain for… $2,000?! I looked around the store for cheaper bags, but all of them were $2,000 to $3,000.
“Teachers really do have the higher authority, huh?” I thought to myself as I was checking out. Once I had given the bag to Teacher Wang after a few attempts of offer, decline, offer, accept, I saw that Eli’s report card had been fixed back to all A’s.
It’s still absolutely ridiculous that teachers are allowed to use their authority to scam thousands of dollars out of parents, but there was nothing I could do…
* * * * *
Thank you for reading my entire rant, I know this is lengthy. I just have so much to say! I feel like someone else should know about this. Like I said at the beginning, I don’t hate living in China, but it is extremely different from America. To summarize what I have learned from living and working in a Chinese city, I end with this.
Chinese society has become a brutal, dog-eat-dog environment where everyone is obsessed with getting ahead; in such a competitive environment, a lecture about serving the state rings hollow.
But I never thought that living in China would be like this. Don’t get me wrong, I like living here! It’s a very big switch, but this country works so differently than America. I don’t think that China should be seen in a bad way, despite everything. I feel that it should be seen as an example of how other countries can differ. As Americans, we can see another country’s beliefs and values as strict or extreme, but we also have to keep in mind that not everything will be the same in different parts of the world.
Now that that’s out of the way, this is my personal experience living in China with my very American family!
* * * * *
Like I said before, I have a son named Eli, and since we moved to China, we obviously had to enroll him into a school. Soong Ching Ling School was one of the best schools in Shanghai, but it was extremely difficult to get into. To put it into perspective, 1 in every 300 students gets accepted into the program.
Alex and I would carefully plan out our phone calls to the school to ask if a spot is open, calling every few weeks, and rotating between me and him to make sure that they would never recognize our voices. Every time we asked, the answer would always be the same.
“It’s filled up. It always is. There’s no use of asking,” the call moderator would respond. It wasn’t till one day where my husband went down to the school and somehow managed to become friends with the vice principal of the school.
My husband would be in China the exact definition of a foreigner. His blonde hair and blue eyes stood out in the crowd, and in China, natives like foreigners. Especially Americans, because I often saw Chinese generalizing about a people or culture they’d experienced only in passing. For example, the stereotypes usually follow that Germans refuse to negotiate, French are arrogant, and Indians have bad taste. Americans on the other hand seem to be compassionate and generous. Of course none of this is accurate, but that’s how others see it from small experiences.
Once Alex had become friends with the vice principal, we found ourselves cramped in a small room, and across from us was the vice principal giving our family an interview. If I learned anything when it comes to education, it’s that the teacher does not pick the student, but they pick the parent. Schools like parents who are jijifenzi- enthusiasts, because they will promote and try to represent the school, and parents who will do everything with their kid. They will study for hours, do music practice, read stories, and basically everything that a parent could possibly do for their kid.
In basic terms, teachers choose parents who will do everything to make sure that their child will succeed educationally.
Once we got into the system, we realized just how much Chinese education relies on parents. Every morning, we are required to give our kid practice tests before breakfast. Even if Eli doesn’t have a test coming up for another month, we still need to deliver them. Tests in China are usually much bigger and more challenging than ones in America, but it’s still a hassle to wake up every morning and on top of getting ready for work and making breakfast, delivering practice tests.
In Eli’s class there’s also a classroom blog, and most bothersome was the Wechat parent group. Messages from his homeroom Teacher Wang will keep me tethered to my phone at all hours almost every day. I even sometimes get messages in the middle of the night, or even on weekends!
The messages usually give all parents orders or information about what the students will learn in class that day. Sometimes I feel like we’re doing the teachers work for them, though.
Some messages will say to “Bring a plastic fish to school,” or that “The student healthcheck is today, so tell your child he must endure the finger prick.” These messages most of the time are completely fine, though some are much more strict, but what bothers me are the messages closer to what would seem to be the teacher’s own job.
“Tear out all of your children’s worksheets and affix them to the corresponding lesson page,” that day, Eli marched home with 7 workbooks, and we set up a mini-factory on our dining-room table, tearing worksheets, reshuffling papers, and stapling for hours.
“Shouldn’t this be the teacher’s job?” I asked Eli in the middle of ripping out more worksheets. He simply shrugged.
“Teachers are used to having students and parents doing what they want without questions,” he said, his tiny hands stapling more worksheets together.
I realized he was right. Everytime Teacher Wang sent a message to the parent chat, every parent responded the same way.
“Will do, thank you Teacher Wang!” or “I’ll get this done right away! Teacher Wang, you work too hard!” I was always forced to give the same enthusiastic response, despite our conflicts.
I would force myself to type something along the lines of “Thank you Teacher Wang, your amazing Teacher Wang!”
I’ve learned a few major points from enrolling my kid in the Chinese education system that I think every parent should know before moving to Shanghai.
Teachers are charged with making kids good Chinese citizens, but sometimes it’s not what you would think. Sometimes Eli acts like a robot, or a people pleaser. One time, I caught my son picking up trash from the sidewalk outside our house.
“Eli, what are you doing?” I asked.
“I’m picking up trash so I can be a good citizen!” he responded joyfully. Picking up trash is a very good thing to do in most cases, but Shanghai is a skyscraper city, and it can sometimes be dangerous. In this case, I saw a empty syringe on the sidewalk, and before Eli could notice I kicked it away and told him to come back inside.
Your kid can also seem to become a “robot” in some cases… or more like a soldier. Even in Kindergarten some friends have told me that their kids seem to be singing and learning songs from the Communist party. Some of their kids have even been inspired to become a soldier for the Chinese government. Now, I don’t completely mind if a child wants to be in the military when they grow up, but I do mind if teachers are telling kids that the best thing to do is become a soldier. Especially for the Communist Party, which I do not partake in.
I’ve also learned that teachers in China are much more strict than America for many reasons. The simplest way I can put this is this: In most parts of China there’s no religion, and in America there is. For most kids in America children have god to look to for guidance, while in China teachers get most of the authority. I’m not saying everyone is religious, I’m saying basically that parents are charged more with a child’s behavior and decisions, while in China the teachers are charged with most of it instead. Another reason for this is because American children start kindergarten around the age of 6, while Chinese children start from 3-6 years old. Teachers are paid very well in China because of the extra task of behavior, and much larger classes (chinese classes can be 25 kids all the way up to 50.)
In America, teachers respect children as individuals, but in China the individual is stressed less than society. We were unsure about the school's way of teaching, but we had seen news stories and articles about Soong Ching Ling school being one of the top schools in Shanghai. If China’s leadership trusted their offspring in this school, then it must be reliable… right?
* * * * *
The teachers have all the authority. Like I said before, they are used to having parents and children do whatever they want. The education system can be cruel sometimes, especially with this unquestionable authority.
Some of my parent friends say that they’re even scared to question the teachers because of the fear that their child may suffer in the classroom. If a parent shows any sort of disrespect towards a teacher, doesn’t take the teacher’s advice, or does not use the same sort of teaching methods, the teacher can mistreat and ridicule their child.
This isn’t fair to the parents or the child in my opinion, and it is considered child abuse, but studies say that the education system will change in the near future, and even now China is starting to adapt and use more Western teaching methods on children.
But for now, teachers still have the highest authority in schools under the principal, and parents are forced to say that the teacher is always right because of the fear that a parent’s child will be disregarded in education. It is also believed that a child won’t grow up properly if they see conflicting sides between parents and teachers, so no parent should ever say the teacher’s opinion is wrong.
* * * * *
For Eli, school starts at 7:30, and my work starts at 8:00. After I drop him off I race to my workplace, get on my uniform, and begin working. I work at an electronics company, but my job is just to document papers. Sounds simple, but I hate my job.
Working in China as a foreigner is tiring work, and for most people they get below minimum wage. I’ve worked at a shoe factory, hardware, manufacturing, and now electronics. Factory workers constantly change factories sometimes even every month to find a new life and make more money.
I make just about minimum wage now, but I used to only make $100 per month. My husband Alex is the only reason why we still own a house because he’s a business manager. Managers most of the time have the highest ranking, and they make the most money a company.
I thought that working in factories would be fun, I could talk to new friends and we could have a great time together. But that’s not what working here looks like. There are some rules that every worker needs to follow, and to name a few:
Working in China means that talking is strictly forbidden, and you should only speak when you are spoken to. Bathrooms in most factories are cramped and barely cleaned, and some don’t even have toilet paper or hand dryers. Factory workers can only go to the restroom once every 4 hours.
Taking a sick day, coming to work late, or your boss not liking a worker or their work means that they will most likely get a pay-cut. Unlike America where leaving work early is usually good, leaving work early in China means that you did not do enough work for that day, and it’s shamed upon. Leaving work late or going out afterwards is what most workers will do because it either means you worked hard that day, or you have excess money so you have time to go out.
Workers usually work for 10 hours a day, which is the same amount as schooltime, and they occasionally get a day off. Usually workers still work on weekends unless this occurs.
* * * * *
Interviewing for jobs in China is different from American interviews in ways that I didn’t expect. When I interviewed for this job, me and the employer sat down and I had to take 3 different tests.
The first test was on working with computers, which I ended up flunking. I didn’t know how to do the coding whatsoever, and I was just honest with what I knew. The second test was on what work I could do, and when I saw the files, I was straight up.
“I don’t know how to do this kind of work,” I said. So we moved on to the written test, which I did very well in. He noticed I had very good handwriting, and in China, calligraphy showed literary excellence, and in this case it showed some of my personality.
“Your hired, you start on Monday,” he said. This surprised me.
“What? But I failed two tests? Why would you pick me?” I asked, still shocked.
“Because you’re straightforward and honest, we can teach you the rest when you start working,” he responded, smiling. At that moment I learned something about working in China. Others care less about skill and more about personality, whilst in America most of the time it’s the opposite.
* * * * *
Afterwork, I go straight home. I end 30 minutes after Eli is finished with school, and like I said before it’s better to leave later than earlier because I don’t want a pay cut! Alex picks up Eli instead, since he finishes earlier than me.
I take the bus back home, but sometimes I’ll get home 3 hours before I was supposed to because of it. Not because I’m late to the bus, I’m rarely late! Busses in China make their own rules, and what I mean by that is that most of the time they don’t follow a schedule. This isn’t everywhere in China, but in Shanghai it’s much more common.
Busses don’t follow the designated schedule, and it will change randomly without even telling passengers beforehand. Sometimes bus drivers even try to force off passengers so they can get home earlier. Once, I was forced off with a few other passengers a few miles away from my house, so I had to walk home in the middle of the night. And may I mention that being a female walking on a dark sidewalk in one of China’s most populated cities is extremely dangerous?
Nowadays people care less about working to change China as a nation, and more about their own lives and destinies, and this is a perfect example of this.
* * * * *
One day one of my parent friends lectured me about having Eli take classes outside of school. Extra classes in Kindergarten? She couldn’t be serious. But here we were, talking about how her daughter takes english, math, pinyin (a different form of chinese), leadership, global vision, and Sunday chinese school. After I heard this, I put Eli in a Mandarin class to help him learn this forgein language better, but I didn’t want to overwhelm my son at such a young age.
All of these extracurriculars are only to get your child to the top. Everything in China is about being at the top nowadays. If a child does good in Kindergarten then they can be good in Middle School, High School, and so on. Parent’s don’t want their child to fall behind, especially since it’s so easy to in such a strict society and that if they do, they most likely won’t have a favorable life.
Parents and teachers teach kids the importance of working hard at such a young age so it can be automatic in the future. In fact, Chinese parents spend ⅓ more money for their children in Elementary school than they do in High School!
I have found that Chinese education and society tie together in many different ways. Besides the obvious and the ones I have already mentioned, this is what I’ve seen:
Speaking without being spoken to is one of the most disrespectful things in this culture. “Foreigners are more free” as some Chinese will say. Speak when you need to speak. Don’t speak unless spoken to. This is the unspoken rule of surviving in a Chinese society.
In education, children are given numbers and teachers call them by number instead of name. In the Chinese workplace, we are addressed by title instead of name. We are treated less like human beings, and more like pieces of a puzzle working to build a society. Teachers are known to yell at students all the time to raise authority, and to grab a student’s attention quicker. In Factories, managers usually have raspy voices from yelling orders at workers so much.
The same type of behavior is in all corners of China, and this is how this country functions. Everything is about being at the top of the totem pole, and having the most cash. That’s how to achieve happiness and prosperity in China.
* * * * *
I have one more story to tell… and it’s not going to be the happiest thing you will hear about my experience. At the end of Eli’s Kindergarten year, he ended up getting all A’s. But when we got the report card back, he had all B’s. I was extremely confused with this, and I asked some of my Chinese friends what was going on.
“Oh, you don’t know? You need to pay!” they would tell me.
“What?”
“You have to pay the teacher! It’s an unspoken rule. I recommend you get her a Coach bag! All teachers love designer bags,” I was shocked, how could anyone be so selfish as to expect someone else to pay them money to get what they deserve?! But I will admit, I gave in. I didn’t want my son to fall behind, and this wasn’t even his fault!
That night, I went out with a stack of cash, and I got a Coach designer handbag. I recalled seeing other citizens walking on the street with such handbags, so I followed what my friends had said. It was a black leather bag with a gold chain for… $2,000?! I looked around the store for cheaper bags, but all of them were $2,000 to $3,000.
“Teachers really do have the higher authority, huh?” I thought to myself as I was checking out. Once I had given the bag to Teacher Wang after a few attempts of offer, decline, offer, accept, I saw that Eli’s report card had been fixed back to all A’s.
It’s still absolutely ridiculous that teachers are allowed to use their authority to scam thousands of dollars out of parents, but there was nothing I could do…
* * * * *
Thank you for reading my entire rant, I know this is lengthy. I just have so much to say! I feel like someone else should know about this. Like I said at the beginning, I don’t hate living in China, but it is extremely different from America. To summarize what I have learned from living and working in a Chinese city, I end with this.
Chinese society has become a brutal, dog-eat-dog environment where everyone is obsessed with getting ahead; in such a competitive environment, a lecture about serving the state rings hollow.