A Winter's Storm characters
Eligius:…..did you just refer to your knife as a 'people opener'?
Ahmik: Should I not have?
Eligius: How is the most beautiful person in Meidas doing?
Idana: I'm do-
Ahmik, from three rooms away: I'M DOING GREAT, THANK YOU!
Eligius: Do you ever feel bugs on you when there are no bugs?
Miksa: It's the ghosts of the bugs you've killed.
Balaza: Okay, that was uncalled for.
Rheta: Do you ever think about how your skeleton is always wet?
Orien: I wish I never had but thanks for ruining my life.
Miksa: Don't worry! There will come a time when it's not!
Orien: Thanks! Even worse!
Ahmik: I may be dying inside but my hair is fantastic so there's that.
Idana: Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? You're very hot and it's making me uncomfortable.
Eligius: Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? THOU HAST NO CLASS!
Idana: Can you please stop calling peanut butter that?
Ahmik: What's wrong with sticky nut juice?
Idana: Everything. Every-fucking-thing.
Ahmik: I’m ambidextrous.
Yara: That’s wassup bro, love who you love.
Miksa: Is that guy sleeping or dead?
Ahmik: Hopefully dead, I hated that guy.
Miksa: Yeah, so did I.
Eligius: First of all, fuck you-
Eligius, to Miksa: Dakren can be aggressive, so it’s important to take necessary precautions when approaching.
Eligius, blowing an air horn an inch from Ahmik’s face: Get fucked!
Rheta: My hand is bleeding. What do I do now?
Balaza: Put pressure on it.
Rheta: Okay.
Rheta, to the wound: Don’t mess this up. There’s a lot riding on this, you know?
Miksa: Vegetable oil is made from vegetables, coconut oil is made from coconuts, so baby oil–
Balaza: Can’t we just have a nice family dinner for once?
Ahmik, on the brink of tears: When I was in the third grade… people treated me like a criminal.
Ahmik, pulling out a nerf gun: Because I killed somebody!
Miksa: You wouldn’t like me before my coffee.
Idana: That’s so weird because I fucking hate you. All the…all the time…every day.
Balaza: If I was a bug, I'd be an ant.
Miksa: So I could burn you alive with my magnifying glass?
Balaza: No, cause I like picnics.
Orien, handing Ahmik a slip of paper: Hey can you read this for me
Ahmik: “I do”
Orien: HE SAID YES
Eligius: I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU-
Orien: What are you doing?
Ahmik, standing on a chair: I live here, you know. I can stand wherever I want, thank you very much.
Orien: …where’s the spider?
Ahmik: It’s under the table. Please get it for me, please-
Thea: So, what do you look for in a woman?
Orien: Well, you picked the wrong person to ask because I'm really gay
Miksa: Do you even lift bro?
Rheta: Do I even lift-? Yeah bro I lift. I lift your spirits up. How have you been? Everything okay? I miss you. Let’s grab lunch sometime.
Ahmik: What are you doing later?
Orien: Having my night ruined by whatever you're about to ask me to do
Miksa: Let me offer you friendly advice
Eligius: I really don’t want your friendly advice
Miksa: Then consider it unfriendly advice.
Ahmik: Bro-
Orien: I had your fucking tongue in my mouth five minutes ago, don't you fucking dare call me bro-
Idana: I am proud to identify as a moronsexual. I am attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. A guy once asked if freezing ice is giving water a boner and I’ve dreamed of kissing him by the sunset ever since.
Eligius: Are we friends again?
Orien: No… We're brothers.
Eligius: That was terrifying. Don't pause like that.
Balaza: Hey, sorry I haven’t been talking much. I lost my aunt last night.
Eligius: You lost your aunt? Did you find her?
Balaza: …
Eligius: OH. OH MY GOSH I’M SO SORRY-
Idana: How do you usually get out of these types of messes?
Miksa: We don't. We make a bigger mess that cancels out the first one.
Orien: So you lied to me.
Ahmik: That depends on how you define lying.
Orien: I define it as not telling the truth. How do you define it?
Ahmik: Reclining your body in a horizontal position.
Ahmik: Wow. Look at that. So beautiful.
Idana: That's a mirror.
Thea: Can you guys be serious for five minutes?
Miksa: Our record is three.
Miksa: I am the kind of person that likes to think things through.
Ahmik: Since when? I once saw you eat a marshmallow that was still on fire
Eligius: What's the funniest thing you've heard Ahmik say while drunk?
Balaza: If I knew Rejkn, I'd let you know. All I know is that he started the sentence in Meidan and finished in Rejkn.
Ahmik: I dont always tell a funny story. Men når jeg gjør det, fullfører jeg den alltid på norsk. (not actually Rejkn lmao)
Eligius: Okay, if I was the last person on earth, would you date me?
Idana: If you were the last person on earth, I wouldn't exist.
Eligius: Shouldn't you be, I dunno, fucking off or something right about now?
Eligius, to Idana: Feel free to just grab me and kiss me whenever you want.
Ahmik: What can I say? I'm charming and irresponsible.
Ahmik: …I mean irresistible.
Balaza: Be the bigger person, Ahmik.
Ahmik: I can't. I'm only 5'6”.
Orien: I'm cold...
Ahmik: Here, take my jacket.
Eligius: I'm cold...
Ahmik: Well damn, Eligius, I can't control the weather!
Ahmik: Can you at least try to see things from my point of view?
Eligius: [crouching down to Ahmik’s height] Okay, let's do this.
Ikaika: gets down on one knee
Ahmik: Oh my god it's finally happening!
Ikaika: falls over
Ahmik: The poison is kicking in.
Balaza: carries all the groceries on both arms
Miksa: reaches out to help
Balaza: switches all groceries to one arm to hold Miksa’s hand
Miksa: That's not what I-
Balaza: Eligius, can you do me a favour?
Eligius: I would literally die for you but go on.
Miksa: Hey Idana! What's my name in your phone saved as?
Idana: Bold of you to presume you were saved at all, Scam Likely.
Miksa: Okay Ahmik, right-hand red.
Ahmik: Ends up on top of Orien
Orien: Right, you’re doing this on purpose aren’t you?
Miksa: I stopped spinning like 15 turns ago, honestly I’m surprised you didn’t notice sooner
Idana: No more being the bigger person. I'm about to start biting people.
Balaza: Are you okay?
Rheta: I don't like to be negative…
Balaza: You're bleeding a lot.
Rheta: If anything I see this as an opportunity for self-improvement.
Miksa: If you have to kill someone, please don’t spill blood on the carpet. Not that I care, it’s just easier to clean the tiles.
Eligius: What happened to you??
Orien, crying: Nothing, onions.
Eligius, pointing accusingly at the onions: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SAY TO HIM?
Rheta: I'm gonna commit a crime!
Balaza: NO!!
Ahmik: YES!!
Ahmik: How do I look, Idana?
Idana: With your eyes, Ahmik.
Eligius: I need you to be completely straight with me, okay?
Orien: nervous gay laughter
Balaza: If Orien jumped off a cliff, would you?
Eligius: …
Orien: …
Eligius: So, funny story, this one time I–
Miksa: How did you guys find me?
Eligius: We saw a huge explosion and thought 'Now who could that be?"
Balaza: You know those moments when I tell you something isn't a good idea-
Ahmik: -and then I ignore you, yeah.
Miksa: What do I do now?
Balaza: Be honest?
Miksa: Why would I do that?!
Orien: As soon as I express any sort of emotion I get embarrassed and want to disappear
Miksa: Every day…I suffer because I lie…I feel so guilty for my lies and the reason for them…if the world knew, what would they think of me..?
Ahmik: Fuck I almost outed myself because I couldn’t resist a gay joke again.
Ahmik: Does my hair look good?
Carena, taking his mugshot: Stop talking
Ahmik: If you're not in my circle of trust, then you're probably in my triangle of suspicion.
Ahmik: Or rhombus of doubt.
Orien: How in the HELL did you two get thrown in the dungeons?
Ahmik: I don't know! We didn't do anything wrong!
Miksa: When the guards stopped us he asked "papers?" and Ahmik replied with "scissors" and ran off.
Ahmik: You sNITCH!
Orien: What do you think, Ahmik?
Ahmik: I wasn't listening.
Ahmik: But I strongly disagree with Thea.
Orien, looking at Ahmik from across the room: So, you really think he's the one for me?
Miksa: Oh, yeah. He's tons of fun, and you're no fun at all.
Eligius: He cancels you out.
Miksa: He COMPLETES you.
Balaza: You’ve got to love knitting needles. I can make a scarf, I can make a hat, I can stab someone’s eyes out, I can make mittens.
Idana: Wh- I’m sorry, what was that middle one?
Balaza: I can make a hat.
Miksa: Once again, Miksa and Balaza save the day!
Eligius: You didn't do anything.
Eligius: It was all Balaza.
Miksa: We're a package deal. Everyone knows that.
Balaza: We can't steal a ship!
Ahmik: We stole Rheta.
Balaza: Ahmik, Rheta is a person. She can do whatever she wants.
Rheta: I want to steal a ship.
Idana: What happened?
Ahmik: Alright, but you can't get mad.
Idana: What. Happened.
Ahmik: I was minding my own business–
Idana: Liar.
Ahmik: I was!
Ahmik: You look like my first husband.
Orien: You've been married before?
Ahmik: No.
Ahmik: Why is "pretty boy" considered an insult?
Ahmik: Call me a pretty boy. Call me a pretty boy right now. I want to be the prettiest boy you've ever seen.
Ahmik: Hey Miksa, can you get my dagger out of my back pocket?
Miksa: And what will I get out of this?
Ahmik: A chance to touch my ass?
Miksa: That's fair.
Balaza: And what do we say when our actions upset someone else?
Rheta: Hoes mad
Balaza: No
Miksa: Are we-
Miksa: Hits the woah
Miksa: Ready to go now?
Eligius:…..I do not feel safe in this vehicle
Idana: Rheta, do you take constructive criticism?
Rheta: Not without crying.
Ahmik: He died of natural causes.
Balaza: You pushed him off of a roof.
Ahmik: Gravity is natural.
Balaza: Please pass me the salt.
Ahmik: throws Eligius across the table
Miksa: I dare you to kiss the next person who walks in the room.
Orien: No? That’s stupid
Ahmik: [walks in] Hey guys what’s up
Orien: I mean fine, I’ll do it, rules do be rules, y’know
Eligius: You ever see someone so out of your league that it's depressing?
Ahmik: I have seen men, yes.
Eligius: What's your gender?
Yara: I don't know my brother broke mine and my mom never got me a new one
Ahmik: Is there a word for a mix between sad and mad?
Eligius: Malcontent, disgruntled, miserable, desolated–
Miksa: Smad.
Balaza: Never forget you're someone’s reason to smile!
Eligius: It's 'cause you're a fuckin' joke
Rheta: Miksa, what do we do?!
Miksa: I don’t know!!
Rheta: You're the oldest!
Miksa, screeching: Not mentally!!
Eligius, barging into the room: Hey, I need to ask you something-
Orien, lying awkwardly on his bed, flustered and coughing: Uh, yeah, what's up?
Eligius:
Eligius: Is Ahmik under the bed?
Ahmik, muffled: no
Balaza: No one will ever love you until you learn to love yourself.
Ahmik: All I heard was "No one will ever love you."
Rheta, to Eligius: Are you a writer? You have such an interesting vocabulary.
Ahmik: No, he's just pretentious.
Ahmik: [talking shit about Eligius]
Ahmik: No offense Elli!
Eligius: What? None taken. I wasn't even listening.
[playing rock, paper, scissors]
Balaza: [rock]
Rheta: [scissors]
Rheta: Oh no I lost :((
Balaza:
Rheta: Balaza I lost :'(((
Balaza: …Oh no, no you didn't. you won,
Balaza: T-this rock is soft
Yara: Where are you from?
Orien: Yrna.
Yara: I’m sorry?
Orien: Yrna!
Yara: Oh no, I heard, I’m just sorry.
Miksa: Rheta said a curse word today.
Eligius: Where in the goddamn fucking hell did she learn that?!
Miksa: Hey, I get it. You're stressed out, a few people died-
Ahmik: THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE DIED!
Miksa: Not the point. Look, they're dead now. And really, whose fault is that?
Ahmik: YOURS!
Miksa: That's right, no one's.
Idana: Did you just say the F-word?
Miksa: Food?
Ahmik: No, she's talking about FUCK. You can't say FUCK in the palace you fucking dumbass.
Idana: AHMIK!
Eligius: Why the fuck not?
Idana: ELIGIUS!
Ahmik: Dude, you just said fuck again.
Idana: AHMIK!
Rheta, under her breath: fuck.
Idana: RHETA!
Miksa: What's the big deal? It doesn't fucking hurt anybody! Fuck, fuckity, fuck, fuck, fuck!
Idana: How would you like to go see Dichali?
Miksa: How would you like to suck my balls.
the entire court gasps
Idana: WHAT DID YOU SAY?
Miksa: Oh, I'm sorry! I'm sorry! What I meant to say was…
Miksa, cups his hands around his mouth: HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO SUCK MY BALLS, IDANA?
Ahmik: Holy shit, dude.
Miksa: As a serial killer my name would be 'the suspense'.
Miksa: So victims would be like "oh no, the suspense is killing me!"
Miksa: And then I would get the last laugh right before I kill them.
Ahmik: … what the fuck?
Orien: Yeah I ate, stop buggin' me!
Ahmik, at full volume: Ass is not on the food pyramid!
Balaza: 👁👄👁
Idana: 👁👄👁
Ahmik: Would you sleep with Eligius for $100,000?
Idana: Hm. Would I have to pay him all at once or could I pay by instalments?
Ahmik: Am I a bad boy?
Orien: Yeah, you're a bad boy.
Ahmik, pulling him closer: Oh yeah, so how bad am I?
Orien: [remembering Ahmik saying he didn't want dessert and then eating his.]
Orien: You're a fucking nightmare to be honest.
Eligius: The people in this court are all so pretty.
Idana: Quit talking about yourself.
Eligius: YOU THINK I'M PRETTY??
Idana: Shit.
Miksa: Is that a hickey on your neck?
Orien: Oh no, it's a mosquito bite.
Ahmik: Hey, whores.
Miksa: Hi, mosquito.
Miksa: Blowing a dandelion is basically you helping a weed ejaculate
Balaza:…I was having a good day
Eligius, teeth clenched: We were all having a good day
Idana: I trust Ahmik.
Dichali: You think he knows what he's doing?
Idana: …I wouldn't go THAT far
Ahmik: They always ask what you’re doing, never how you’re doing.
Miksa: Well, how are you doing?
Ahmik: None of your goddamn business.
Orien: Fugitive or not, it's nice to be wanted.
Rheta: Have a good day!
Idana: That's asking for a lot since I haven't had a good day in years.
Eligius: Wait a minute! You don't go TOWARDS the weird scary sound!
Ahmik: Yeah we do. We always do.
Eligius: I hate that about us
Eligius: I made tea
Idana: I don't want tea
Eligius: I didn't make tea for you. This is my tea
Idana: Then why are you telling me?
Eligius: It's a conversation starter
Idana: That's a lousy conversation starter
Eligius: Oh, is it? We're conversing. Checkmate
Miksa: [sitting and listening to the rain] I like the rain, it's peaceful
Ahmik: It'll help you clean up a murder
Miksa: You wouldn't need the rain to clean up after you if you used an icicle as the murder weapon
Balaza: What is wrong with the both of you?
Miksa: As Lady Macbeth once said, "Don't be a pussy, it's just murder,"
Eligus: What's your blood type?
Miksa: Don't worry, I'm not picky, I can drink any kind.
Eligius: What?
Miksa: What?
[close up on Miksa drinking hot chocolate]
Miksa: I'm 99% angel.
[pan out to show the city on fire]
Miksa: But that 1%…
Orien: I have this urge to do something stupid.
Ahmik: I'm stupid. Do me.
Eligius:
Orien:
The entire group:
Ahmik: Did I say it out loud?
Miksa: I’ve got this completely under control!
Balaza: Is that why everything's on fire?
Ahmik: Y’know, Orien is so tall
Ahmik: I wonder what he sees up there
Orien, from the other side of the room: Everyone’s flaws.
Miksa: You know what they say. Go big or go home.
Balaza: Please go home. Miksa, I am begging you to go home. For once in your life just please go home-
Miksa, whispering: I'm gonna go big.
Eligius: I’m a wanted man!
Orien: That's not possible, you weren't even a wanted child.
Eligius:
Ahmik: You can't make everyone like you. You're not Rheta.
Yara: Not everyone likes Rheta.
Ahmik: Who doesn't?
Yara: Well-
Ahmik: Names. Now. Give me their names.
Rheta: Why are people so obsessed with top or bottom? Honestly, I would be excited just to have a bunk bed.
Miksa:
Balaza:
Miksa: I'm gonna tell her.
Balaza: Don't you dare.
Orien: So, what was your life like in Magrif?
Miksa: [war flashback]
Miksa: …Nothing important.
Rheta: I've learned some valuable lessons from this.
Balaza: I'm guessing they are all horrible distortions of the lessons you should have taken away.
Rheta: Death isn't real and I'm god.
Ahmik: “Your Highness" is gender neutral. So you know, if you're ever confused about my pronouns, that'll work.
Ahmik: Alternatively, “Your Majesty," “My Liege," and “Supreme Overlord"
Ahmik: Please note that “Your Grace" is also acceptable
Miksa: I'm a confident rider.
Ahmik: You literally just ran over someone.
Miksa: Confidently.
Eligius: Life is nothing but heartache and strife. The people you want to love and trust do nothing but betray you, over and over and over again. What is the point in living in this cruel world?
Ahmik: What happened?
Eligius: Orien’s gryphon aTE MY FUCKING GARLIC BREAD
Ahmik: Orien’s so cute because we both love animals so much but his way is very pure and genuine whereas ours…isn't.
Ahmik, holding up a cat: Stinky
Orien: No!! Don't be mean!!!
Ahmik, swaying him back and forth in the air: Stinky bastard man
Orien: No!!!!!!!!
Idana, not looking up from chopping veggies: Naughty boy. Brat cat
Orien, distraught: NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
Balaza: Thanks to Eligius, Rheta has now taken up cursing.
Balaza: Yesterday, she referred to bed time as a "fucking crisis."
Idana: Has anyone in your life ever told you they love you?
Eligius: Does my mother count?
Idana: Yes.
Eligius: No.
Ahmik: What're you doing, Idana?
Idana: Just enjoying a nice cup of Earl Grey
Ahmik: Is that whiskey?
Idana: Of course, it's not whiskey!
Idana: It's brandy. What do you take me for, a sailor?
Miksa: [accidentally hits Eligius]
Eligius: Do you wanna fucking die?
Miksa: …..Kind of.
Eligius, in a soft voice: Bro, we talked about this.
Orien: I’m invoking the “no judgements” part of our friendship right now
Eligius: Oh my god, what did you do?
Orien: Hey, Ahmik’s hungry and wants something to eat. Or at least I think that's what he said. My Rajkn isn't that great.
Ahmik, in Rajkn: I actually called you a snack, but okay.
Miksa: Cursing is for those who have a limited vocabulary.
Eligius: You’re an audacious, ideologically unsound, captious, presumptuous motherfucker
Miksa: Hey! Wanna see a trick?
Yara: Last time you showed me a trick, it took two weeks to grow my eyebrows back.
Balaza, hoping for a normal day: Good morning.
Rheta, dangling upside down from the balcony: I’m gonna try to become left handed!!
Orien: Come on, I didn't drink that much last night.
Eligius: You were flirting with Ahmik.
Orien: So what? He's my boyfriend
Eligius: You asked him if he was single
Eligius: And you started crying when he said he wasn't
Ahmik: I don't know how many years on this earth I got left. I’m gonna get real weird with it.
Rheta: These people are my friends!
Rheta: I’ve known them for twelve hours!
Balaza: Oh, tiddlywinks!
Eligius: JUST SAY FUCK
Orien: You sure know a lot about the law
Ahmik: I do a lot of borderline illegal shit
Miksa: I can’t believe Eligius figured it out!
Miksa: It’s you who’s always saying how stupid he is.
Ahmik: I never said he was stupid.
Ahmik: I said he’s a dumbass.
Ahmik: Crucial difference.
Idana: Swear words are banned in this house. If you say one, you'll be grounded.
Rheta: heck
Idana: You're on thin fucking ice, kid
Yara: Look, I don't like to throw around the word "butthead" often. If you call everyone a butthead, it kind of loses its impact. But I can say without hesitation that Ikaika is being a real dick.
Ahmik: Ok, what's the first rule in this group?
Rheta: Don't wake up Eligius before twelve if you want to live.
Ahmik: Good, rule number two?
Rheta: If Balaza says no, go to Orien.
Balaza: WHAT ARE YOU TEACHING HER?!
Rheta: Eating a cinnamon roll
Eligius: Cannibalism.
Balaza: Miksa, what does this say?
Miksa: No idea.
Balaza: But it's your writing!
Orien: Ahmik, can you turn the lights on
Ahmik: I don’t need to! You light up my life!
Orien: Ahmik, I can’t fucking see
Balaza: Hold for a sec…these shells have been devoured.
Rheta: Ohhh.
Rheta, passing it down the line: The shells have been devoured!
Ahmik to Orien: The bells have been deflowered.
Orien to Eligius: The veils are in my power…?
Eligius to Miksa, confused: The veils are covered in flour?
Miksa: Nods and thumbs up Balaza
Rheta: You're, like, the coolest person I've ever met; and you don't even have to try!
Ahmik, holding back tears: I try really hard, actually.
Eligius, clinging onto Yara for dear life: Fuck off- she's my emotional support lesbian!
[Miksa and Eligius arguing]
Eligius, suddenly: Do you wanna fuck?
Miksa, slightly confused: …Yes?
Eligius: Then go fuck yourself
Yara: You’re Yrnan?
Orien: Yes, that’s where I was born.
Yara: You don’t act Yrnan.
Orien: Oh, sorry. Let me scorn some gays and spit on everyone’s culture.
Eligius’ parents: You’re my greatest disappointment, Eligius. I don’t remember raising you like this
Eligius: I don’t remember you raising me at all
Orien: I noticed we've started to slowly phase the 'b' out of our bromance
Ahmik, ring box out: I mean, yeah, I guess.
Ahmik: My native language is my second language
Miksa: That's not–?
Ahmik: I'm Naktruinian but I grew up in Yrna so I learned Rajkn late and Yrnan early
Miksa: visible confusion
Orien, watching Ahmik spar without a shirt on: What a way to remember you're gay
Orien: Eligius, what would you do if I came home with five adopted cats?
Eligius:
Eligius: What’s in the box?
Orien:
Eligius: Orien
Eligius: God, I’m so fucking clumsy today. I keep bumping into things. I have so many bruises, it’s not funny.
Ahmik, who broke into his room the day before to move all his furniture exactly 2 inches to the left: Oh, damn. That’s crazy.
Idana: I'm having salad for dinner
Idana: Well, fruit salad
Idana: Actually, it's mostly grapes
Idana: Okay, it's all grapes
Idana: Fermented grapes
Idana:
Idana: It's wine
Idana: I'm having wine for dinner
Idana, letting Eligius put lipstick on her: Don't forget to blot
Eligius: What does that mean?
Idana: Like dab the excess off
Eligius: kisses Idana
Idana: Cute but not quite
Idana: I have decided I am, in fact, a snack. It's just that no one's hungry
Eligius, under his breath: I'm starving
Balaza: You know, not every problem can be solved with a sword.
Ahmik: I do know.
Ahmik: That's why I carry two swords.
Miksa: I bet I can beat you crossing the creek.
Balaza: Hey, we aren't racing across the creek, it's not safe.
Ahmik: That's why we want to do it.
Miksa: WE WANNA DIE
Eligius: Did you know that atoms never touch each other? And since we're made of atoms, we've never touched anything in our entire lives. So to answer your question, officer, no I did not punch that man.
The officer:
Miksa: You ever feel like you're being watched?
Ahmik: All the time. When you look this good, you have to get used to it.
Thea: Stop correcting me!
Eligius: Then stop being wrong!
Ahmik to Miksa, from halfway across the battlefield: Stay sexy and don't get murdered!
Eligius: I hate it when parents are like "I know you better than you know yourself." Like, no you don't.
Eligius: Like, oh you're the expert on the inner machinations of my psyche? Name three of my top ten existential dreads.