forum Your Characters as Clickhole Articles
Started by @sock group
tune

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@sock group

Clickhole has the weirdest and funniest articles and quizzes uwu
So! Find an article headline or quiz that you think represents your character pretty well. That's basically it. You can link it if you want, but you don't have to :)

Here are mine:
Ren: The Amazing Science of Blankets: Researchers at MIT Have Determined That The Blanket Makes You Warm Because It Goes On Top Of You
Lucas: Are Your Parents Letting You Get A Tattoo Because They Don't Care In A Cool Way Or In A Sad Way?
Chan: Mental Health Win! There Is A Clown Falling From The Sky!
Zephyr: What Did You Think Of My Homemade Mead? Be Honest
Elyas: Are You Strong Enough To Eat The Loaf Of Bread You Just Baked Even Though It Came Out Of The Oven Begging For Life?
Jay: Which One Of My Enchanted Marionettes That Love North Korea And America The Same Amount Are You?
Himari: Who Gives a Shit: NASA Says It Has A Huge Announcement To Make About Neptune

@JustALostM book

Fern: Are You Strong Enough To Eat The Loaf Of Bread You Just Baked Even Though It Came Out Of The Oven Begging For Life?
Lincoln: How Many Of These Things Have You Overheard A Group Of Doctors Somberly Whisper While Examining Your Medical Charts?
Jackson: Do You Know Why You’re Grounded?

@Leshierian

Chester: Tough But Fair: The American Psychiatric Association Has Announced That Some Of You Could Stand To Re-Stigmatize Your Depression

Oscar: Total Chaos: Three Of The Seven Toothbrushes In This Bathroom Toothbrush Holder Are An Absolute Mystery To Everyone In The Family

Winston: 7 Ways To Convince Your Neighbor That It’s Fine That Their Son Floated Away In The Blimp You Built For Him

Harli: ‘When Else Does Nature Make You A Fun Ball?!?’: The Department Of Agriculture Has Announced That Tumbleweed Should No Longer Be Used As A Symbol Of Desolation

Landers: Do You Have The Prancing, Whistling, And Juggling Skills It Takes To Become A Navy SEAL?

The Prince: How The Hell Did This Happen Again?!?: It’s Time To Feed Yourself For The Third Fucking Time Today

@sock group

Pira: Murder, Cheat, and F*ck Your Way Through Boston
Aster: Go On, Lick The Steering Wheel
Heli: Absolutely Not: This Kid Is Trying To Bring A Stick Inside
Laetus: With Great Art Comes Great Sacrifice: 5 Times Jacuzzi Phil Dove Headfirst Into The Jacuzzi And Broke His Skull
Mito: Amazing Innovation! Boston Dynamics Invented A Robot That Says 'Stop It' When You Sneeze
Wolf: The Fact That These Animals Have Killed People Does Not Make Them Any Less Adorable. They Are Beasts And Do Not Know Better.
Willow: Nature Is Amazing! Researchers Have Determined That Birds Can Still Fly If You Zip A Bunch Of Them Up Inside A Duffel Bag
June: Wasted Potential: Researchers Have Announced That Apes Could Probably Talk If They Gave It Any Effort At All

@larcenistarsonist group

Sparrow: You're a single celled organism. Can you evolve into a duck?
Thaddeus: 8 People You Correctly Thought Were Dead or Need Something To Do Today? Here Are 5 Extremely Easy Ways To Ruin My Life
Bane: Can You Successfully Smuggle A Fun-Sized KitKat Into A Movie Theater?
Fennec: You Were Supposed To Be On Goose Patrol: How Many Of These Goose Incidents Happened Under Your Watch?
Rune: Compassionate But Safe: Revlon Has Announced That They've Stopped Testing On Animals But Are Including A Rat With Every Tube Of Lipstick In Case You Want To Try It Yourself

@bellcurvebennie

Ludka: 5 Confusing Terms For Penis My Dad Used While Incorrectly Explaining How Sex Works To Me
Teddy: Face It: Things Can’t Be Going Well For You If You’re Turning To This List Of People Who Found Success Later In Life For Comfort
Finch: 9 Perverts Who Want To Meet You
Jules: Here’s How This Is Gonna Work: You’re Going To Get Down On Your Hands And Knees And Beg Us Like A Dog For The Only Sheet Pan Recipe You’ll Need This Fall
Gwen: 4 Ways To Gently Explain To Your Kids That Grandma Threw Herself Into The Lion Habitat At The Zoo And Moaned With Pleasure As They Tore At Her Flesh
Cyprien: The Fact That These Animals Have Killed People Does Not Make Them Any Less Adorable. They Are Beasts And Do Not Know Better.
Micah: Medical Disaster: This Baby Was Born With Gauges

@AloeVera groupMentallyImInACottage

Exila: Murder, Cheat, and Fuck Your Way Through Boston
Anubis: Justice At Last: This Man Was Just Released From Prison After Serving 25 Years For A Crime He Didn’t Even Feel Like Committing That Much (actually my friend's character but I know his story and this funny)
Harmony: The Fact That These Animals Have Killed People Does Not Make Them Any Less Adorable. They Are Beasts And Do Not Know Better.
Jean: These Kitten Pictures Aren’t All That Adorable, But The Guy Who Gave Us This List Is Scary And We’re Not Going To Argue With Him About It
Rose: Can You Break Up With Me?
Yuki: Oof, Probably Not The Best Idea In This Climate, Bud: This Man Tied His Mental Well-Being To His Financial Success, Physical Health, And Romantic Life
Jesse: The World's Dumbest Criminals
MacKenzie: I Lost 150 Pounds and No Fucking Way Am I Telling You My Secret
Tyler: How Long Will You Survive In The Chamber?
Myst: Which Future U.S. President Are You?
Kaiholo: What The Fuck, Man?