"IF YOU EVER THROW A GRAPE AT ME OR PUT ONE WITHIN MY PERSONAL SPACE ZONE I'M GONNA BE VERY PISSED OFF!!!"
"'How would your parents describe you in the morning?' A fucking hoe. WAIT THERE ARE KIDS HERE! A hecking gardening tool."
"It has the best Slytherin character, and I don't mean Draco Malfoy, although I'd suck his dick in a heartbeat."
"We're great friends. Especially in the bedroom."
"The one day I missed school, a kid got choked until they passed out at lunch!"
"Was it safe, sane, and consentual?"
"CLAUDIO IS GAY FOR DOGBERRY!"
"It's Benedick not Benedict you dumbass."
"His name does describe him."
"A girl runs away from her abusive mother, is nearly murdered, and is then forced into child labor by seven small men until she eats a poisoned apple to find true love."
"That was twisted. Thank you, twisted people."
"That's a take on Snow White I didn't know I needed."
"Shit."
"Language!! There are children present!"
looks around "…Who?"
"Me!"
over heard the boys talking about going into the ceiling and duck taping one of the boys to the wall in the girls bathroom. Then one of them got caught going up there and was suspended for 3 days. my friend and i called them the ceiling gang
"Are you ready kids?"
"Aye aye captain!"
"I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!!"
"Did I stutter?"
I’m homeschooled so I’m just going to say the greatest things I’ve heard my siblings say:
Older sister: “My hot cocoa died. It perished in my mouth. It’s so sad. sniff”
Little brother: “Look mom! Those birds are tackling each other!” Mom: “Sweetie that’s not tackling…”
Me: “I remember when I was little I used to eat the goldfish without faces first so the ones with faces could watch their friends die” Older brother: “Well the only proper way to eat a gummy bear is to bite the head off”
Older sister: “This snake. This snake is cute. It’s cuddly and adorable. I need five of them.”
Baby sister: takes one bite of ravioli “I need ALL of them”
“eAt tHe fUrKinG pEpPEr! I’TS GOOD FOR YOIUUUUUUU!”
If I break my neck, I won't have to write the stupid chemistry exam!
-some kid who was standing in front of me
NO I DO NOT WANT A MINI CUPCAKE!HOW DARE YOU! CUPCAKES ARE MINI CAKES AND YOU EXPECT ME TO EAT A SMALLER ONE!?
-some random kid in the hall when offered a mini cupcake
Oh my God, Mr.(name)'s head is brighter then my future!
-my bestie
Teacher:where is (name)
My friend: she said she had an appointment
My other friend: but shes probably with her boyfriend
Teacher: I guess that's why shes failing this class.
-my grade 12 art teacher
"Brendon Urie's voice is higher then my grades and GPA"
"What kind of square are you smoking?"
Me, in a grandma voice: "Now, now. Don't be so sad. Here, have some drugs."
Friend: Thanks, Granmama
Walking into a school for a water polo tournament. A bus rolls up with another team
Friend: RUN ME OVER SO I DON'T HAVE TO PLAY
Me: (Friend) you're our best player!
Friend: Yeah, but think of all the money I'd get from suing.
Me, in a grandma voice: "Now, now. Don't be so sad. Here, have some drugs."
Friend: Thanks, Granmama
This conversation legit happened in my math class lol!!!!!
Me, in a grandma voice: "Now, now. Don't be so sad. Here, have some drugs."
Friend: Thanks, Granmama
This conversation legit happened in my math class lol!!!!!
It's a reference to The Addams Family musical and that is the only thing I got out of it.
“I have this really weird feeling that all orchestra teachers are secretly pyromaniacs and blow things up for fun.”
-high school violinist
“You. Officially. Owe. Me. YEET BREAD.”
-an argument between two students in orchestra
“Whoops.. I cut Africa in half. I guess it’s…. HALFrica nowwwww”
-science class idiot
“Either we both got the question right, or we are both idiots.”
-algebra-class honors students
“I have a headache that comes and goes.”
kid comes in the door, late
“Oh. There it is.”
-epic science teacher
“I guess Eurasia is pretty tasty!”
-Another science class idiot
“CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOCOLATE PEEEEEEEPPERMINT BaaaaAAAAAAaAaArs, PEPPERMINT BAAAAAAAAaaaaars”
to the tune of chandelier
-kid at my home&careers table
science teacher holds a squeaky toy in the air
Entire class starts screaming the lion king opening music
-earth science honors class
Person 1: I’m fine. I’m fine, I’m fine, it’s fine I’m fine.
Person 2: Are you sure?
Person 1: Yes
Person 2: You’re fine?
Person 1: Uh no
"Love is fleeting, murder is the only thing that lasts forever."
-Me, holding up a miny scapel.
"The cameras can't stop me from killing you. The cameras can only stop me from killing more."
-dude running through the halls after school
In math class, gets quizzes back
Student: gets an 83 wow, I did so bad… are there retakes?
Me, as an intellectual: gets a 56 I’m not really in the mood to take another quiz. Plus, it’s not THAT bad. I could have done worse if I wanted to.
“IM ALLERGIC TO AIR!”
-track teammate
"I'm good at making things straight"
-Dude in track team while measuring a distance with measuring tape.
“I WANT YOU TO DREAM MARCH. LEFT LEFT LEFT RIGHT LEFT! I DON’T CARE IF THAT’S NOT HOW DREAMING WORKS! WE’RE GONNA GET YOU READY FOR BAND CAMP THIS SUMMER!”
"Wait, so does that mean that equilateral triangles aren't really triangles?"
"I hate Jill merriam, her voice is so annoying. NOBODY WANTS TO BUY ANY HONDAS FROM YOU JILL."
"You were the one watching YoGabbaGabba!"
"No, I was watching the potato!"
-two random kids in the eighth grade hallway
person 1-"WHO EATS ONE CHIP."
Person 2-"ONLY CRAZY PEOPLE."
Teacher-"What about chips."
person 2-"Who eats just one."
teacher-"It is impossible."
